The demon awakens

As shadow runs towards the nearest healing place, he could feel Chrine getting larger... Crystal gasps in despair, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HIM!!!. Shadow stops and turns asking, what do you mean what's happening?. She screams AHHHH!!! put him down... He's transforming! Shadow with quick relapses drops Chrine on the floor. WOAH! WTF!!! Chrine... RESIST. As wings started to appear on his back, they were hideous. The glowing red eyes got brighter... and Chrine awakens.

With a deep demonic voice he speaks words of death and rage. SHADOW, you shall not save me! I shall wreak havoc n destroy every one!. Shadow stands in shock... Not knowing hat to do... JOIN! ME and we shall rule this place together! Crystal with her quick acting decides to try and perice Chrine with an aura blade! ARRRGGHHHH!!! HOW DARE YOU!, Chrine suddenly turns to the person who stabbed him on the back and lifts up his hand. With claws that are as sharp as razor blades, in his rage and fury he quickly swipes down at Crystal, but some force overcame him that stopped his hand from going any further to even make a scratch on her. As his physical demonic being tries harder to finish the blow, the force that is stoppign him grows greater. Then a sudden voice came from Chrine 'USHRAW GOTTA RA!!!' - (NOOO I am not DEFEATED!)

whiles Crystal sits in shock... tears over flow her, because the very moment of the strike she saw some one in those red eyes... she saw Chrine... Shadow manages to regain his conscience and runs to Crystal, Are you alright hun? As she just sat there in shock... she replied in a jitterign voice.. I.. I.. I saw him...
Shadow:Saw who?
Crystal: him...
As she points towards Chrine, shadow turns.. in his amazement he saw this demonic looking chrine Actually fighting himself. How could it be.. why is he fighting himself.. I thought he wanted to take the world. Chrine tries his best to fight off the evil that posses him in a weak voice he said help... Pray! Pray hard! With all his last energy he tries to fiht it off... Shadow managing to just understand what he says talks to Crystal, we must help him. Lets pray. They bow their heads and started to pray. A strong light of aura beam shoot out of them and hit the physical body of Chrine. With a sudden strink Chrine falls on the floor, as if he was lifeless... shadow approaches with caution, with crystal holding on his arm tightly.

Is? Is he dead?... Crystal asks with a sad voice... she screams out I HATE THIS HE DOESNT DESERVE TO DIE. Shadow gently says.. Patience.. dont jump the gun. He may not be dead, at that very moment he said that a sudden dark shadow fled from his body, as if it was frightened by some sort of greater power. Chrine's demonic wings start to turn gold, and feathery. His size becomes smaller and fitter. Shadow rushes to hug Chrine, You did well brother... You listened, now you know the powers of a prayer. Shadow backed back and pushed Crystal forward. She hesitates to move any closer afraid of what may happen. Thank you Crystal, thank you for awakening me, with the aura blade of faith, I shall hand this to you. She collapse into his arms and hugs tightly, gently whispering. Don't scare me like that again, I still care about you, very much. I really do. Chrine smiles as she steps back the wings reenter his body and he becomes whole again as if nothing ever happened to him he takes out both of his hands and asks shall we walk together? Crystal in amazement replies together? (For she hasn't heard him say that before, Coz chrine usually hangs around the back)Shadow Smiles and says what do you think Crystal? She gives a great big smiles and says yes sure ^_^.

as they carry on their journey they are united with Faith, hope, and love nothing oculd touch them. They continued their journey of the life's race~

Crystal~Together Forever.
Shadow~Hope never fails.
Chrine~With love no evil can over come you.

(MWahahhaha you have not seen the last of me... You 3 will once again fail like u have before I shall cast he jealousy into you and u shall fight one another, what's this? Holy water !!! No!!!!ARRRRRR)

splitz of rage

So, there she saves me, and a intimate relationship sparks... with fire burning in the candle of love, bursted into big flames, thier hearts melt and become warm. She tells me Come, come over here Chrine I want to show you something. Come with me, or I'll be sad. So I walked with Crystal. Towards a place where she met up with her compaions. At the meeting place, I saw my little brother Shadow. 3 days we stayed and she treated me no more than any one else in that place. as we departed I decided to take my little brother shadow with me. We went off into a journey still equiped wiht the amour and sheild, with the sword of faith. Crystal suddenly turns to me and tells me, we cannot go on as lovers. as she stumbles on a rock. I'm Sorry. As i looked at the candle logically the bigger the flames the faster it will go. and it has come to a complete stop. I sighed and she said I'm sorry. Monsters suddenly appeared, deamons they were. They came rushing and running down. I fought them.. at the same time she gently whispered to me thanks.. but.. I think I'm falling for your little brother... yet I do not want him, coz I know it's wrong. I said i shall help u. u think bout it, while i fend off these monsters... weeks past and she pulled her self together.. Shadow tells me, he is going to fail me some how. I ask how he says I do not know, but I can feel it. As we set off, all the deamons lay down in the battle feild dead.
Shadow and Crystal eventually become closer.. and I could see it. I tried to help her stop but she couldn't resist. eventually I told them I will fall back abit and cover thier backs. In an extermely anxious voice they shouted out yes!.
and so I did. On that same day i fell back, I was ambushed.. from the back monsters apeared, from every corner. I was scared and needed back up and courage I threw my sword case to shadow. however he was so absorbed with the future he ignored the pain and carried on. I carried on screaming HELP HELP CRYSTAL!!, but even crystal did not turn. I lost all hope.. and was discouraged.. battling with my last strength. I stroke the final blow on the last monster and fainted.

Crine Laid bleeding on the floor for a few hours, and laid there for a few weeks, even his little brother and his past lover has left him to rot. Deamons walk past his lifelesss form to carry on to take others. Suddenly Crystal awakens after kissing Shadow for the first time. Where's Chrine? Shadow looks around in dispare... I dont know... he replies. Crystal panicks and starts hitting shadow constantly, we have to find him we just have to.!!!! Shadow agrees after being beaten up abit from Crystal, and so they head forth to look for Crine.
As Shadow and Crystal head back they encounter many Deamons, untill they finally saw a figure laying on the floor. Shadow Cries out THERE!!! I see somehting. Crystal quickly runs towards the figure, OH MY GOODNESS she screams! it's Crines sword case! a sudden memory hits Shadows, oh no... that day. He chucked somehting on me. I thought it was a joke but it was serious... ahh no what could have happened to him.

Crystal in dispare, gasps. Why... what did he do? why must this happen to Chrine. Shadows sees another object sitting and panting in the near distance, he quickly runs towards it, CHRINE!! he shouts in joy. your alive!!!. Crystal runs with Shadow towards Chrine whiles holding hands together. As Chrine lifts up his head, there was a dim glow of red in his eyes, suddenly shadow stops and pulls Crystal back. Is that you?Chrine?...
Chrine replies in a weak voice, yes... it is me, you have returned... but it is too late.. I.. I.. I am dying... Shadow excels towards Chrine, drink some of this water... Chrine drinks it and revives abit managing to gather enough strength to stand. As Crystal approaches Chrine, she walks slowly, and sadly... she whispered to him, 'was it my fault?'
Chrine replied'no, it wasnt your fault... it was mine, not abling to suport u well enough... not a good enough friend to help u stop. I lost hope and courage when I saw u 2 together... nothign could have seperated you.. I'm sorry'

As Chrine faints, Shadow Cries out loud WHYYYY!!!!! WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN! he picks up Chrine and as fast as his legs could carry him tried to find the nearest healing place... Crystal runs with Shadow.. in her head she thought.. I should have resisted.. Damn this temptation. Damn the deamons. as she looks back on one of the deamons did this to her ex lover. she realises that one of them were actually sumoned by her...some how... she runs.. in regret..

To be continued... If i have the mood to

Camp~

Weee first day of camp was okay, abit sad.. lol but i guess its not too bad met a few ppl noticed Sher may advoiding me... by acciedent? I dunno prehaps it's not suppposingly makes me lo liek a loner so ppl will talk to me. Great way! i think!_!.
I thought to myself that promise before i left.. I will be with you all day n night for 3 days I promise... bleh as usuall promised will crack and tremble.. besides I went only as a friend... a friend , brings back all that hurt hahaa but hey who CARES mat.. dont answer pls.. WHOELSE CARES! lol ah well, doesnt matter.
second day was better I made alot more friends and noticed one of the pastors preaches at that night resembled sooo much of my friend mit... when she was in malaysia of course.. I was happy that Sher May got me to the camp.. sad coz... I couldn't seem to talk to her... ah wells... thats life talked to ivy with more ease xD bleh. did obstacles.. got cuts lots of them and bruses more of em...lol
Last day of camp.. Iw as happy at frist.. then it seemed that every one was so tired... neaer it got to the end i could see those who really actualy likes me n will miss me... geez has to be 2 guys xD both younger oh well. Got back to thier church.. I sat with the most miserable face on this earth for a while... but Ivy noticed Damn.. I thought i hid it well enough.. she looked straightinto me eyes... and it was watery.. damn it! oh well... b4 i left Kenrick.. my room mate got less involved with talking to me.. prehaps coz I'm gonna leave... Sher may seemed abit bored of talking to me... ah wells... thats life liek she says u get bvored u move on to other friends... sigh.. I wish i was as simple as that. and so... I was dropped by sunway pyramid by a gal i dont have a clue but hey doesnt matter ^_^ .. I sat there a me eyes watered.. I had so much Hate and happiness at the same time.. depression overpowered both... I could see I was afraid.. soemthign has changed in my relationship with Crys.. but hey.. I doubt it.. I will see tonight... I said to the sky u rain I cry... and indeed first tear drop in my eye it started pouring down... rain followed me straight home.. Sher may called then... and I noticed that it wasnt raining in her area.. so i guess the rain did really follow me I have a compaion Jesus ^^ ... I still ahve those 3 flashes of may.. in my head.. not knowing what the 3 resemble.. still thinking.. could it be 3 times this will happen u will only last 3 yrs? if u can last 3 more months? your too obesses=ed with this gal? dunno.... ah wellls.. end of my happy/sad blog post ^^

Life's Race

RUN DAMN IT RUN!!!!...
why should i? Ive lived here for most of my life... the secen became dark clouds and screaming sounds came closer and closer, the red light that has been chasing then, seemed to draw nearer, nearer and nearer.
Come on man!! take my hand...I reached my hand out hte moement I grabed his hand he tried to pul me off the ground, flyign arrows shot forward and, so... he died.NOOOO I shouted. nothing could be done... my life's partner has been shot down and i was shattered..., the last words he said was... I told you... but why didnt u listen... I could have protected you. the redness approached in light speed, as if was approaching me a sudden white light appeared blocking all harm from hitting me... I was safe... but lost in darkness.. forever trying to find life again, the colours i once saw. the baeuty within. I wondered did any one have the same situation as me adn what was with the light. Why didn't it let me die?. Eventually I learnt the light saved me by sacrficing itself. but before it died it implanted some words in me sayign it has never left me and never will. I searched for many years... more than u could count. luckly i had the light with me.. it quiped me wiht an aura blade.. and a shield that I belived in... I started to lose hope.. the light whispered to me why? I answered I'm lonely... it replied I'm here.. I said yes you have been great to me... but where are others are there any?.it replied, yes.. there are I will send soem of me to find some one for you. and so I kept on walking, and every rest I had came haunting the dream of the reddness and my friend being shot to death by the firey arrows from hell... I kept on searching.. wondering if I was on the right path then came 2 paths.. one was as bright as ever one was full of beauty... I stoped and got startled... what to do i asked the light... it replied, follow your heart. I stood there for 5 years, trying to decide which path to take.. then the light shoot into me somethign I thoguth I'd never hear... Your companion is here! .. I thoguth to my self is that why he made me wait... so I kept on thinkign to myself.. Good or bad hard to say... my compainon arrived, and I was confused, why did my compaion have erm.. a bigger chest n all... never understood why, the voice was so light not deep as i was, the light said this is a girl... and I was astonished.. as I never thoguht there was any to begin with ever since the case... she smiled and said come, lets go this way, as we ran towards the blazing light I was baffled on why i felt so happy and light.. so complete... she held my hand and never let go... as she was runnign she said to me.. promise me one thing...I answered, what thing? she said, these 2 wordds together forever... I nodded and smiled and since then we havn't broken our promise... tho we have had hard rough roads.. I hope I can make it forever together.. I keep sayng to myself.. it will work...

Well i felt like writing a story some will understand some will joke some will cry and be touched soem will think wtf?? somehtings wrong wiht Chris hahaxD alright to those who understand hope u liekd it ^_^

Looking back

sigh.. Crys friend Edz.. reminds me of me... but he needs to learnt o put it away.. if not it'll destroy you.. just like me and mich... Mich thought it was only for ro, but I thought it was more than that sooo much more than that. then she told me she had a Fiancei... clakc there goes my heart when I heard that. same goes to edz... it'll take him abt 3 months to recover i guess... it's sad eh? seems that u play ro you want it to be virtual but no matter how much uw ant it to be! it turns out a mess.. coz u relaly fall for thta person.. I dunno how gasl to it, btu for us guys it really doesnt work out.. I dunno why.. prehaps we are just dumb pppl lol I dunno me no no nothign any more bbz~

Darkness+light~

Ii was walking down the street. and I saw this light. I t wa shining so bright, I couldnt resist being drawn to it. as i gazed into it, my flesh started to melt~but i put my mind together overcoming this obscene change... as I thought tomyself more and more wiht my mind, this light seemed to dimmer. untill total darkness, I was scared... I saw nothign but black, Was i blind? I needed help... I was lost, like a sheep that has not sheperd running off into the wild. then my feet started to glow and my path became clear. I had 2 choices, left or right. Right seemed to be a old, brokenen misty door with cracks on its bridge. But left seemed welcoming wiht big golden gates, I sauid to myself righ it is, as i entered. I saw many trees trees that could move and talk to you, some thing was wrgon. They said they have been cursed btu its fine now coz they can be free in this forest. It was kinda freaky, coz I never seen moviung trees that dont have legs.as i walked deeper it seemed the trees became normal. What is that i see in the far, a house! wohoo finally some time to rest. *opens the door* in this house was no more than spiders and cob webs, with alot of dust every where. bleh I said to myself at least its a decent place to sleep. decided to settle in and WOAH a vampire appears... luckly he was not hungrybut just abit moody. so i decided to leave....carrying on my journey. I found a companion, she was shorter than i, but seemed kind in the heart, her feet glowed too and her amour was gleaming. I asked where did she buy it from, and she just answered it was gifted from the same person who lights your path.Baffled I was I carried on with this girl. Darkness eventually overcomed me and her. but our light was so powerful we could find our path. Eventually she seemed so beautiful to me, I feel in love and held her hands. She brought me to this strange building with what seems to be a t on top. I wondered what does this t represent. and eventually she got me going over and over again and a sudden change I have amour like hers, shield liek hers even a sword... I kissed her wiht compasion and she said ^_^ stupid satan. Dont listen to him, this building you have been comign to is a Church, God's been looking over you and over us, and now he has found you liek the lost sheep you were. I felt joy+peace.Thanked God and thanked her. she pulled me through through God's will. her name you ask... well you'll have to guess

end

dinenr time bb to all

Somthings wrong

I cant help to feel but theres soemthign wrong.. seems I feel liek I abused soem privacy... sighs.. Ive been coughing like mad but cant stand the fact that I am asting a blood liek taste... seems like I am disabled.. thigns are gettign werid... I cant help ppl I pray and pray, I guess thats all I can do... money is such a sad thign in this wolrd... one day I'll be indepedant but it aint gonna be lall lovely n everythign... sighs... I dunno hwo to explain my mood now coz somehtigns are hidden away form me... *bzzp* end of transmission

The Skyz.. the stars, the moon.. and the darkness

The skyz....

Clear as can be at first sight th beauty seems immense, light gleamers through, small white cotton clouds, nice blue sky liek the ocean is in the sky... untill a storm appears covers the skyz with darkness, and light at the same time, rain pour outforth.. like endless tears, from the sky... the hurt and the heart break... nto knowing what was right.. just pours out all the sorrow on all the houses and all over the world, but all ppl see are droplets of water, *splash... every droplet is 1 heart break this world has received... it gathers so much in the sky it becomes dark, and can no longer hold it...

The Stars

Glimers in the sky at night, liek a diamond in the sky... you can look and stare at the beauty it contains, but one thign you can't do it reach for it, forever it stays in the sky above, as if a curse it remains beautiful, but never able to come down and find a love... forming pictures to show sighns, but things just look at it, and sees no message... Stars come from suns form other solar systems which has bursted out, like a heart which has been shot... blown into many gliters, each star represents a gd time from when they were onc together..

The Darkness

Hidden as if it were a shadow... Dark with no light... no way to go, makes one lost, but really it tries to hug the lost, to give confiedence, but we shiver more... and more.. untill we break out and scream.. scared that life is far we run and run... hoping to find light, but the darkness is holding you so tight, that it feels so sorry for you... but you'll never know.. so light appears and darkness if pushed away... Darkness just wants a hug, but instead it gets a push... So, close. Yet so far...

The moon

stuck up so high next to the stars, but still not close enough to touch... the moon is covered wiht darkness, and shone upon by the sun, reflecting light throught the darkness, as darkness approaches, it hugs the moon and the moon is happy so it glimers in the sky, with the mixture of darkness and light it, shines on a person, so darkness can once, hold them again... and this time dartkness can feel more comfortable as the person feels cosey and gives a great =)... yet, what the moon wants to do its to reach the sun... yet the sun is to far, and the earth keeps him prisoner... as stars which he'll nbever touch be his best friends, and darkness he'll stay in as a companion for life...

Me

I am liek the darkness, so close yet so far.. I am liek the stars which try to find love... I am like the sky looking so bright but sad inside... but what I am not is the moon that is aside... but the moon is more like Jesus, the one that brings light, the pone that helps us all feel alot better and comfy... the Sun and the moon are really together, but they work to gether to make us better... So, to me I feel sad but the moon tries to help..I am greatfull with peace by my side...

this was written all by Christopher Tan, not copy righted so steal it if you want...I'm just a lil troubled thats all...

The very essence..

how many of you find it so, erm... I dunno hwo to explain the feeling... when you want to help but you cant help feeling... so annoying.. the very essence of it disables you and makes you feel so... weak, so pathetic... so useless. not fo rme to say, but I dont know...I feel so angry at myself that I couldnt help, and I feel so useless... mainly coz I dunno if what i say is the right thing to say, and I dont want to hurt that person.... argh everythign is so confusing... great.. going to college confused and i have math in the afternoon, heh ARGHHH!!!! I FEEL SO PATHETIC SO SMALL, aekfgkehlfewukigfkdgewkugfgdhasgfukshfiwehfoigweufgdsa somehting to flood abt here... bleh why am i hurting inside, ah well I'm used to it, kinda become an habbit i guess.. one day I'll die form a heart atk coz I'm so stressed up there... I'm serious lol, unelss I find a way to destress... bleh dont care, I'm just a useless peice of.... yea, you care abt me... but how come I dun... I feel liek I can be thrown away in the dust bin! XD oh well time to destresss one mroe time £"%$£^YEHOqrgiptfhesik@tGFwtehgirhsftAGEWUR^ypeyhDUWRFTGJ HGDSLKFHEWULI YFKUELAGFIKG HESKJFHGEWLSJG GFT OK

DONE!

Which Night Elf Hero Are You?

http://members.lycos.co.uk/powersugoi/quiz/nightelf/kotg.gif">%20/>%20Which%20Night%20Elf%20Hero%20Are%20You?

I CRIED I DUN BELIVE THIS!

OH MY GOODNESS I DUN BELIVE I CRIED :@

what is life really?

Soem times I wonder, what is life, we die... we live.. life goes on. I wonder, why cant we live in the past and we must live now? isnt the past what makes you who you are today, I guess its coz of all the depth of cutting edge of evilness in it.... , The fact is, I'm not focusing on that point... it's just WHEN ever I try to help some one... things just dont want me to help, for exsample... a friend is in need, on msn or the phone say... they are havign a hard time, and feelign very uneasy. Then, do you knwo what my phone or net will do, it'll cut off... it's liek they dpont want me to help... I guess its for the best. I just wanna help so bad... But things just push me away. I HATE IT. just i wanna help, sigh... I feel so useless.. so small... so pathetic... say at this present moement Iw as to disapear fromt he net and my phone was not being picked up from any one... would any one notice anythign.. probally think ah well... he was a gd person.. gd friend balbalbal. guess he didnt wanna come on any more. but the real fact was I was dead? ppl dont take these things in to consider.. so i dont blame them... to extereme... and I dont think they should think about i.. coz if I died, I think npo one would care but my famliy only coz I was the only boy in my family... I try, i do... I wanna suceed, strive for greatness.. but doesnt thigns just bash you down... liek the church says, if you dont get rid of your flaws nwo... satan will let u go on wiht life... when u hit your greaess moement he'll destroy you, sigh... ah wells, I'm pretty sure my amour is fastened on me... bleh I mean jeng cares... btu she has a life now.. wait she always had a life. would Sam care.. I doubt it. Oh well who killed Chris, he died on himself oh ok, what an idiot.... mit, ah wells prehaps she would... yea, but wait... she wants to hack ppl down so I'm guessing nope coz I'm sure she would have been happy to hack me down i guess... Eva... she wouldnt know... she'd just think I'm still roiung.. mat bleh in ausienland wouldnt knwo either... same goes with duy. all my uk friends would know.. Ash... he wouldnt know.. he never calls I never call... Crys... well I guess she would. I guyess I i would live coz of her... well... just a friend I just go tthat message through the phone from her... she dun wanna be close friends... but just friends, I guess I'm cool with that... (Spider:what are you kidding your self?) (Chris: nope not at all.. I'm cool wiht it man, you should piss of, I dun wanna hear form you again...sigh)(spider... fine you go sulk SULK UNTILL YOU DIE see what happens, not even I will care yea your right I won't nor will this world SO GO DIE!)

Sighs... maybe spider is right? maybe I should.... but its something very stupid to do... ytet it's somehting very inviting...see, just now when Crys called... I couldn't help her... I feel bad... I will take a bullet for all of my friends... and most of all... I will , and i hope.. that when God sees any one kill another.. i guess... I hope... I really do, that he'll forgive you.

*sighs Spider you still there?... are you? hello? sigh... alone once more.... I need to chat to ash, clsoe friend of mine... I feel so troubled. but I dont wanna toruble him... ARGH hope he's assed his liscence... hope he's enjoyign life, hope he's not sucidal I soudn liek a bloody hypocrit... Ash you a close friend to me ya?... reason i called you almost every night in school days buddy... well I doubt he'll be reading this... heck I doubt any one would. (spider:I'm here i read it... are you ok man... I'm sorry abt earlier...)(Chris:what to do.... I feel so lost, as if i lost a friend...)(Spider: seems you have... one that you thoguht would be close... but u just lost it huh? I know its bad, but cheer up plenty of fishes in the sea...)(Chris: yea I'm glad... I was cut, I'm glad... but I hate having scars in ma heart...)(Spider:dude.. is that all you ever thinka bout.... yea.. I knwo every time you heal the scars get deeper! ya ya balbalbla... doesnt mean you should cry over it)(Chris:... what do you mean cry? I never cried over it)(Spider: coime on man I'm in you I can hear the bloody cries STOP CRYING... it's starting to piss me off...)(Chris: wait.. which part of my body do u live in...)(Spider: your heart...)(Chris:oh...)
(Chris: thanks Spider.. I really need to thank you for being beside me...)(Spider: no [probs thanks man for putting me into games... I mean in Counter strike haha XD I have learned to frag so many... epps sorry man I lost my concentration.. i forgot you were down Really I am)(Chris: naw it's alright... =) I was playign with you we kick ass!)(Spider: heh yea man... dude, Don't do any thing stupid... I'll make sure you dont I'll make your hand punh you unconsience before u kill youself...)(Chris: woah thats harsh... but i guess you are in my heart.. so you must be like my caringness...uh oh well best stop b4 we freak every one out...)(Spider: Roger that!!)


Well some times I think it's nice to talk to myself, regardless of what you think I bet you many ppl who hold alot of problems do this as well.. maybe, I'm justr geussing..

what is life really?

Soem times I wonder, what is life, we die... we live.. life goes on. I wonder, why cant we live in the past and we must live now? isnt the past what makes you who you are today, I guess its coz of all the depth of cutting edge of evilness in it.... , The fact is, I'm not focusing on that point... it's just WHEN ever I try to help some one... things just dont want me to help, for exsample... a friend is in need, on msn or the phone say... they are havign a hard time, and feelign very uneasy. Then, do you knwo what my phone or net will do, it'll cut off... it's liek they dpont want me to help... I guess its for the best. I just wanna help so bad... But things just push me away. I HATE IT. just i wanna help, sigh... I feel so useless.. so small... so pathetic... say at this present moement Iw as to disapear fromt he net and my phone was not being picked up from any one... would any one notice anythign.. probally think ah well... he was a gd person.. gd friend balbalbal. guess he didnt wanna come on any more. but the real fact was I was dead? ppl dont take these things in to consider.. so i dont blame them... to extereme... and I dont think they should think about i.. coz if I died, I think npo one would care but my famliy only coz I was the only boy in my family... I try, i do... I wanna suceed, strive for greatness.. but doesnt thigns just bash you down... liek the church says, if you dont get rid of your flaws nwo... satan will let u go on wiht life... when u hit your greaess moement he'll destroy you, sigh... ah wells, I'm pretty sure my amour is fastened on me... bleh I mean jeng cares... btu she has a life now.. wait she always had a life. would Sam care.. I doubt it. Oh well who killed Chris, he died on himself oh ok, what an idiot.... mit, ah wells prehaps she would... yea, but wait... she wants to hack ppl down so I'm guessing nope coz I'm sure she would have been happy to hack me down i guess... Eva... she wouldnt know... she'd just think I'm still roiung.. mat bleh in ausienland wouldnt knwo either... same goes with duy. all my uk friends would know.. Ash... he wouldnt know.. he never calls I never call... Crys... well I guess she would. I guyess I i would live coz of her... well... just a friend I just go tthat message through the phone from her... she dun wanna be close friends... but just friends, I guess I'm cool with that... (Spider:what are you kidding your self?) (Chris: nope not at all.. I'm cool wiht it man, you should piss of, I dun wanna hear form you again...sigh)(spider... fine you go sulk SULK UNTILL YOU DIE see what happens, not even I will care yea your right I won't nor will this world SO GO DIE!)

Sighs... maybe spider is right? maybe I should.... but its something very stupid to do... ytet it's somehting very inviting...see, just now when Crys called... I couldn't help her... I feel bad... I will take a bullet for all of my friends... and most of all... I will , and i hope.. that when God sees any one kill another.. i guess... I hope... I really do, that he'll forgive you.

*sighs Spider you still there?... are you? hello? sigh... alone once more.... I need to chat to ash, clsoe friend of mine... I feel so troubled. but I dont wanna toruble him... ARGH hope he's assed his liscence... hope he's enjoyign life, hope he's not sucidal I soudn liek a bloody hypocrit... Ash you a close friend to me ya?... reason i called you almost every night in school days buddy... well I doubt he'll be reading this... heck I doubt any one would. (spider:I'm here i read it... are you ok man... I'm sorry abt earlier...)(Chris:what to do.... I feel so lost, as if i lost a friend...)(Spider: seems you have... one that you thoguht would be close... but u just lost it huh? I know its bad, but cheer up plenty of fishes in the sea...)(Chris: yea I'm glad... I was cut, I'm glad... but I hate having scars in ma heart...)(Spider:dude.. is that all you ever thinka bout.... yea.. I knwo every time you heal the scars get deeper! ya ya balbalbla... doesnt mean you should cry over it)(Chris:... what do you mean cry? I never cried over it)(Spider: coime on man I'm in you I can hear the bloody cries STOP CRYING... it's starting to piss me off...)(Chris: wait.. which part of my body do u live in...)(Spider: your heart...)(Chris:oh...)
(Chris: thanks Spider.. I really need to thank you for being beside me...)(Spider: no [probs thanks man for putting me into games... I mean in Counter strike haha XD I have learned to frag so many... epps sorry man I lost my concentration.. i forgot you were down Really I am)(Chris: naw it's alright... =) I was playign with you we kick ass!)(Spider: heh yea man... dude, Don't do any thing stupid... I'll make sure you dont I'll make your hand punh you unconsience before u kill youself...)(Chris: woah thats harsh... but i guess you are in my heart.. so you must be like my caringness...uh oh well best stop b4 we freak every one out...)(Spider: Roger that!!)


Well some times I think it's nice to talk to myself, regardless of what you think I bet you many ppl who hold alot of problems do this as well.. maybe, I'm justr geussing..

the worlds getting togher

Well liek i said the worlds just getting tougher~ not int the sense of struggle but in the sense of making decisions. Snatch!! man wish i had that skill :P, but unfortuantely I'm not tha evil... I prefeer ppl giving willingly then to give unwillignly. Flaw of me i guess, too truthfull lol. Decsisions~ take it or leave it.. go in and try or back off... Tell me people if you really really wanted somethign what will you do? yet that somethign you want, is soemthign that some one already has. in my mind I say yes... things are better this way, This is how its ment to be, prehaps if u wait paitenly you'll get the thing that the other person already has. But another part of me is like saying Snatch.. win it over... you know, soem times I hate it when that happens, but i just liek to see people happy. another flaw? dunno... I want ppl to smile. Enjoy life, without burdern, what am i doin' putting burden on one of my close friends.... I just want it sso bad, I guess my consience will keep me at bay. I love that thing... I adore it, btu i cant have it, and thats a fact... maybe waiting will, but I mean if this is God's will what am i to say =) I could rebel, or mayeb its not his will. yet I just want that person to be happy... talkign in very coded langauge Coz you cant buy that 'thing' T.T , ah wells what can i do~ ooies thats all for tonight, a lil' less conversation and a lil' more action~ lol hmm lets steal some words from the lirics~
Namida tomaranaiKonnan ja Kimi no kotoShirazuni ireba Yokatta yo
lalala CHris~

it's a question of oui? au non~

(oui=yes au=or non= no)

Days can get crappier the mroe i think abt it the more i feel like running.. escaping. Yet I have no idead whats wrogn with me... as uc an see yesterday i kinda freaked out somehtign was sseriously wrong then...crys Got txt messages spammed by her bf=/ was that it? then Mat hears crunching outdoors.... Days are getting werider...

Prehaps its just me i mean, what more can u expect from some one that has actually prayed for a person so they have a life partner... yes i actually did that. but every time i tried it seemed so... like... they just disapear. it's all puppy love then.. Eva taught me love is somethign that isnt what it seems. thus what i feel abt love before isnt what it really is? oui? prehaps its lonliness.... I dunno. today my own self started to talk to me, somethign that rarely happens coz i usually start the topic then chat to myself. was like... this is wrong... I'm worried... prehaps your just a message man? from God? showimg some one they have whats specail.... but maybe your there for the specail person. Its confusing... but i get it. Like i have always said~ any thing i get close to fades away... I dunno why I hold too tight, bleh I dont wanna repeat my blog.

well I was starved today in college got home... my grand mah has cooked food, for some werid reason I have absoletly no appitite wohoo~ Weight loss program lol! ah well, this weeks gotta be the most confusing week of my life. Any wayz exams coming neaer, need to focus but what did my teach say today? DONT STUDY VB its hopeless I totally agree! lol. So my main focus is math and System analysis.

I know my blog title seems seemingless, no value to it right? nothign seems right. ah well... its reffeeerign to some one i know, and I dunno if going for her is the right thing or not, everythign in me says Do it, whats there to lose, and I know u like her that much u'd fly across the world, yet another part of me says... what if~ ect... ah wells so. the Qeustion is oui au non? I choose oui, but what will she choose?

Confused.. feelign strange somethigns wrong...

I dunno whats wrong with me... not a heart atk thos my heart does feel heavy... I'm confused beyond my own limits.... somethign has happened.. btu id unno what... its somethign bad, been havign a couple of bad dreams lately... maybe they were sighns... I dunno whats wrong... I heard a scream earlier.. was it that? ARGH some one help me... this is very very painful...

I'm tellign u all.. somethign wrong... isit me? am i trying too hard on somethign or not hard enough... is soem one tellign me somthing... just answer me !!!!!! please... I'm breaking down... I dunno whats wrogn... just speak to me... coem on.. have i done somethign wrong.. did i make some one hate me... have i done somethign too poorly? can u teach me to be better? help me control my temper.. I dunno MPSL I feel so unweary.. i feel soemthign very bad is happenign or has happened or is goign to happen! this is werid and wrong... help...

The chaotic day~

My day today has been the worste.. in fact my week would ahve been the worste if it wasnt for a person i knew...lets see where to start... form the morning... I went to college just to help out on a club thing that helps all the newbs enter our college.. turns out... it was cancelled teach was on EMC(emergency Medical leave) Argh.. had to wait 2 hrs till class....then... my eyes became weary in math It was itchy like mad... but the worste part was at 12 o clock or around there wher ei found my mobile DEAD when i say dead not workign... cant even charge right now... and to top up dessert for the whole day my dad arrives late in picking me up... and I get a head ace... sighs... seems I have no contact to the outside world but through this lil com... and if this is gone... I'd be dead X-)--<---<(R.I.P)

well i got nothing much to say but sigh... nothing
Chris

L!f3'5 5l_l(l-l 4 m'/57R'/

yea it is :P tough luck to those that cant read my title! mwhahaha, right then lots of things happened today~ literally I'd say alot is nothing wohoo~ new record! I Felt so tired for no reason~ woke up all energtic.. then got in the car to college after a nice shower... and started to fall asleep... then Got to college waited outside for a club meeting and still feelign sleepy got in and managed to wake up... then got back in the car AND FELL ASLEEP AGAIN now how lame is that lol!. In my club meeting thier forcing me to go tmmr for 9 30 class tho its ment to be 10 30... oh well Do some powerpoitn things for the nOObs~ entering our college this November... means no revision for me then pif~ bleh I'll revise... right then I got home, and it seems I did somethign... which i cant rememebr hahahahha lame~ i think i ate some fruit=/ cant remember lol

right.... then i went to do my math OH MY I cant do anythign... gosh need to ask my Friend tmmrz for help... seriously need one sheet of paper with lots of exsamples so i can refeer when I'm doing brand new questions that should get me a pass*As well as praying to God should help, =) destress me... So I found out crys likes the planet shakers... FORCING ME to take her next time they come... wow i didnt know they were that famous DID YOU o.O. Righto~ I dunno what elese to post but~ keep it cool dudes~ and make sure that u keep alert and not liek me >falling asleep every darn second lol !

CHris ~ SighNing OfF~ wEEhOOO(=.=; hyper dude... wonder why he's so excited *rolls eyes)

Q:Does age matter?

When i was younger not that much younger than today ~Damn wish the song never stole that line, lol any wayz~ So, like does age really matter? and in what context... Well, to many age~ determines your age groups 13-17 18 ~27 oro soemthign liek that yea~ well For friends I reakon age is no gap too wide I mean I could be fiends with a 60 yr old and I really wouldnt mind =) they have alot of experience and they really do help out alot^^ I have friends that are 9 I dont complain abt them~ play along have fun~ bring da child outta yourself heh.

But then theres another Question~ Does age matter in a relationship o.O~ to me I didnt really know... coz Many have told me age gaps in relationships do matter~ya traditional guys usually olderall the mumbo jumbo~ My cuz did date some one older, but they have broke up... I thgink it was a 5 yr different btw he's a guy. and every one was like blablabla yippdi do da talking crap abt him. But i mean do they really need to? I reakon whats in the mind and the heart that probally matters~ tho I do still have that feelign of age~ think... my age limit is +and - 4. yea i do have a age limit... but i mean I'm sure many do... if it exceeds it means I must really love the person to the hiehgt extent that i cant let go.~ but that doesnt mean if its in my age gap I sstill dont have the same feeling. At first i thought hmm seems there is a problem with older.. they look down on you then they u knwo think your a kid n all =.=*stares at eva~ lalala~ but then some one prove dme wrong~ innit just a werid concept now ahha ~over all age dun matter~ what counts is whats inside~ tho THERE are boundaries~

hey what do YOU guys think?

This is Moi sighnign off~

Innocence. A true angel. Probaly a younger one. Not
yet shown the real way of this planet. Let me
give you some advice, stay that way, for as
long as you can. The pure make it.

,<*^Which%20Anime%20Angel%20Are%20You^*>,<*^/">^*>,<*^Which Anime Angel Are You^*>,<*^
brought to you by

WEEe..Waited..so long @@

lol Actually the title reffers to ro~and me waiting for some one, :P Name starts with a C ends with a n. Right then somehtign to post, Ive been drowsy all week argh i cant stand it any longer... still drowsy now wEEEee~ right then~ Been a gd day so far i watched the new police storay XD was quite gd, if the vcd didnt screw up the sound of thier voices=.=; my dad got pissed at me for not going out qwith him to eat, I said I'm full and he's liek ah your full might as well still come out,sounds as if hes like saying come out watch us eat :D plus I'm sick~ Iw anna recover @@. Right then FRIDAY SUBMITTED MY ASSIEGHMENT *jumps with joy* yay hoep id dint screw up to bad >.> presentation on monday need ot be ALERt not blur come on! lol so... what else. I cant remember much but blurness slow responses and not knowing whats happening in class, felt so pressurised @@ btu then again i felt so tired.. DAMN MEDICINE ACTIFECT well i thgink thsat the right way of sepelling it @@ ... Crys a new friend of mine Shes soo cool :P wait... or is she liek a clone of me, just the Gal versiono.O so many properties are so filmiliar~ wee~~~~~ right enough abt that :P at least mat got his hair fixed Lemon juice.. Iw as gonna say vinager but u know, Just incase anythign happened I dun wanna hold responsiblities:P soo let the science expert eva do all the thinking whiles I sit n relax haha :P alright then I'll sighn off before i bord u alll ;)

Old fimliar feeling

that feelign of depression has come back... Damn it I cant stand it... the calling of confort Help me Help me... calling of attention, Am i too small for you to notice me?... the callign of greif, sighs~ no one cares any more, all alone in this world again. Well depression strikes at wrong times, anger stirs when i dont want it to, but at least i can control it... I hate to annoy ppl when I'm trying to tell them something but they just cant see that I want them to notice.... but hey thats life. a whoel bumnch of blur ppl livign in ablur world havign thier blur lives.... whiles a few linger into the arkness seekign confort, and loove... I have confort... but i dunno whats wrong .... prehaps I'm askign it from some one... some one specail i knwo i dunno any more... I dunno. seems as if the world is spinnign faster days are flyign and I'm drifting from friends need to pull back but too many friends... sighs... Ohw ells~ another darn depressing peice of *beep* for u enjoy but never diaganose yourself with it liek i did.... keeps u there a while calls u back over and OVEr again... Caged... within.. the beats lays~
Chris sighning off~

The terror of Assieghments

Well the wednesday that has just gone past was my system anaylsis asseighment due date wohoo we finiased it thansk to my dear friend Wilson~ 2 of us for one project whiles every one else had 3 minimum coz one of the guys Got transfeered fcoz he 'pontengs'(skips) claass too much. ah well Visual basic next~failed my match co z i did somethign so stupid i put 800- 200 after workign out equations. then I said 800-200= 400! wohoo that screwed up the rest of my qeustion and the teach wouldnt even give me marks for euations T.T So upset oh well the moderaters might be more erm.... Kind. i hope make it 50% for me :D Rightio then

Since every ones been posting I think it's my turn mwhahaa. Maid never got fired... every oens taunting me about it @_@ EVIL People =.=; Jengs got some troubles in her life... doesnt want to tell me. I just ghope sitoze can get it out of her. but hey... he has exams. any howwz I played gb yesterday with jei, or eva as u guys call her wait u call her eve:P and sai lo... which is mat :D damn pros... lost to a noob liek me! mwhahahha then i lost 100x's more >.> *no comment. My life is ok at the moe so no depressing stuff... but preahaps.. i guess... I@@M FRIGGING ILL!!!!!!!!!!! DUE to that frog... grrr~ (frog= my class mate) passing illness to all of us including cow~ Cows get ill @@ lol. (cow another class mate). Righto I need to poop but its refiusing to come out *gets fustrated* opps shouldnt type thatr but hey somehtign to disturb u guys wiht :D

Right then i feel dead.. been playign ro for a long time, no one ever posts here any mroe.. so like no one to chat to, i said mat changed yesterday.. but i didnt mean it for the worste .. he seems more mature =) Proud of him... I guess thats the real him =D well Were all kids~ aparyt from eva and Cal.. and Cryst.. and~ ok I was wrong but hey somethign to say lol. Alright... u guys arnt luaghing are u? still thinking abt the toilet? Great! mwhahaha that means mission completed ur offcially disturbed coz ur thinkign toilet :D

Chris sighning off~

hmmm..

hmm lets try writing a song :)
"Have you ever felt like you have been, left in the darkness... have you ever felt liek you have sliped... and triped into the bottomless pit... Or have yoou ever fallen during this lifes~s run~~.
Seeing every one infront, running ahead-a-aed..."
" Well I just wanna tell you friend, that your not alone, but I'm telling you now, that I want you~~ to carry on~~ I wanna Hold out my hand to you, pull you out of the bottomlesspit, help u run the race u fell in, Help show you that there's still light!, But then you, push. me. away! .you push. me. away! Alll i wanted is for you to see that lifes nto that bad, all i wanted to is show you that life aint that bad... afteralll"
"every one one has thier up and downs. but why do we focus more on the doooo ooown... why dont we just look up into the bright ight side. Every thign you see is pain, and its hurting you even more, all I want you to do, Is come with me. I want to show you, that life aint that bad, life aint thattt bad."
"Come Give me your hand, I'll show you, that every thing can be done well, you have great abbilities,THis Lifeeeee iiifffeeee, aint worthhhh crying overrr this liifffee ifffeee Aint worth Crying over!open oup your eyes, see that I'm here, Ive been waiting for you to give me your hand, now here's your shield fend off all the negative... now here's your trainers, run the race like you mean it, I'm here, I'll run wiht you, We'll help others, liek you.... COME AND RUN, THIS RACE WITH MEEEEEE COEM AND RUN IT LETS HELP OTHERS RUN, LETS MAKE THIS INTO, a MARATHON!We can make the diffference.... we can make the diffference..."

Well thats that, eh trying to get soem positive outta of u guys, loniness, is liek a society of lonely poele, all you have to do is go into the club and join th other lonley poeple! Ironic isint it? ;) every one int hsi world has felt liek you in one way or another, but why can they get out of it, and why do u see it as bad, and try your hardest to make it worste? whiels u can be just liek others. WELL I'm not like others u say, but you can learn :)


Chris~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mich was back the other day made me so happy^^ ^^ ^^been waiting sooo long :D shes back! wohoo! well going back at monday haha! oh well cyaz people.

Disturbed ~_~

Man, today whole day Ive been disturbed I couldnt even hear what my lecturer said after 2 seconds.. i was liek huih what did she say... uw anna know why I am disturbed firstly... the maid made some coffee for me i said not.. secondly she made magimee for me I said NO!, thridly SHE TRIED TO BLOODY KISS ME!, now thats the disturbing side... *shivers... now every ngiht i have to lock myself in my own room just for my own protection.. coz apparently she walks into my room when i am sleeping!Oh my goodness... thats so bad... :S any wayz thats all for today

yay another sad crap blog.... coz i wanna be sad.. coz i miss my friend... so sad... haiz.. no more... coz I dunw ant u guys to know any more

Just thoughts..

totday i went to a plubic speaking workshop, ya man its was GREAT... the guy was such a gd speaker, keep the whole crowd laughing happy and most importantly attentive, he talked abt skills n how u can improve when speaking, what to avoid and what to do.... was great...

fortunatly...or unfortunatly i dunno this part is personal only the popel who knows her will knwo what i mean... I saw a gurl, hmm... she looked so pretty, but she looks so fimmilair... so today, I went all the way bac to my pics on my comp, this pic was before i formated... Looked for Michele's pic, Michele (note one l) hmm looked carefully and thoguht back... woah... thier almost identical... no wonde ri was looking at her, and thinking she was so gd looking =/ heh, maybe it it her :O but i doubt it... kinda cool, but i'd rather not get myself into hassle trying to get soemthign i want, so bad, and realising that at the end its been taken, then I have to go through all that depression slide again... somethign I dun wanna do, Ive seen that Girl several times... but shes usually alone maybe coz her bf or fiancei is waiting outside for her? or maybe its her husband! :O welll over the top there but hey i dunno... oh well, anywayz, Mich if ya readin' this, where have ya gone to, college? hows college if u have gone... mustbe fun! escaping form hoimme.... going out hanging out, I dunno maybe u should try it, making new friends too huh? if u are reading this, tell me, can you please at least tag a message in the Tag board... just one? just to make me self assured your still around in my life =/ or have u really disapeared just liek that?... sigh... oh well,
this is my thoughts for now... looking at that pic really goes deep inside me to the past, heh, my more 'soft' side? I dunno back door lol any way, I'd best stop this post or YA ALL FALL ASLEEP, and start asking whose mich, whats she mean to you, lol, sitoz Max, and Jeng will know... Ash it's not mit coz i never call mit mich got it?... Cya all

Super IQ test results

http://web.tickle.com/tests/superiq/result.jsp
Chris, your Super IQ score is 103

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.The way you think about things makes you an Intuitive Interpreter. This means you are a highly conceptual thinker. Rather than focusing on facts and figures, you look at the big picture. You are less inclined to need to walk through something step by step to understand the logic behind it. This also lets you make connections between something you learned three weeks ago and something you are learning today. While other people need those types of connections pointed out for them, you just naturally make them.
How did we determine that your thinking style is that of an Intuitive Interpreter? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you an Intuitive Interpreter. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

Silence..

Silence, what a beauty, keeps you out of trouble, lets u be quiet, keeping all your thoughts in, even though u wanna speak out and help, just a friend... they blast back at you, pissed, for u even trying to be concerned for them... I suppose I should be the quiet type as i have always been in UK... never hearing a single voice... a single word coming out of my mouth... This shall be the place I'll give out my thoughts... it's up to you if u wanna read, but I dunno... perhaps SILENCE is all well, perhaps i should stop walking into peoples lives let them live it.. its not mine... perhaps i shouldn't help... perhaps helping does the other thing... kills some ones thought.. kills a dream kills a emotion... presses the red button... there’s a time to help a time to SHUT UP!.... If only people knew that i wanted to help so bad... but the more i try.. the more i kill... I'm a mass murderer perhaps? Perhaps I am stupid... Perhaps the dream i made long ago was all a lie.. perhaps I shouldn’t help.. perhaps help is a bad word... I dunno.

Silence... hey, I should stop writing but its my free will, I want to write this... I wanna tell you, but u guys are like the wind, blows past me, silently... I dunno... hey, depression doesn’t feel that bad, feels great u get to punch yourself... opens up your eyes, makes u realize what u have been doing wrong... not like i wanna be depressed forever.../ not that i am now... I'm semi angry, yet I feel so sad... yet I'm not longer angry... I'm silent... Pls what’s wrong?... what do you mean?... so quiet?, heh yea...
heh yea---> that’s right i am... I wanna tell u so much.. but u cant see... I want to tell u everything.. but u wont listen... I wantyou to care... but i cant receive, coz I'm blind... I feel nothing... I'm numb.... everything is wrong... I'm slipping away.... perhaps this is the way... Perhaps I'm too selfish... perhaps I'm wrong.... yet i thought it was so right....

no matter what i do it's wrong.. the helping is wrong... i fail to see the help working... but when i do... I wished that help would work the same way for all... (wtf? what’s Chris on about? is he lost it? he should shut up coz he's making him self look SO STUPID...) So what? It's not your problem... its mine. U wanna help, why not open up your eyes for once? , yes, I hate hurting people... yes, I hate rebelling against gd ideas... but if there's a fault, maybe its mine! but I don’t show its mine... PREHAPS ITS YOURS... perhaps it isn't... hey, what are friends for? to care to help? but maybe... there are no friends for me.... maybe there is.... but no one ever gets even close... I dunno, maybe one day some one will break through my wall of concrete, hate, love, broken hearts, pain, pleasure and last of all.... Hurt... I'm no hero, yet I am no low life... whose a low life? no one only those who say they are, or those who say others are, coz u cant see their trying to make themselves better, their trying to make the world better, what do we do kick em away, so before u even see what i am, u have to look deep within yourself n say am i ready to say the things I am? perhaps, silence.. is the best solution?
To me Silence is some one within pain and torment wanting to speak out.... to you its something that u can cage, so no one will know u any better, so u can stop your pain from flowing outside of u, so u can hold on to it and not let it go...

pheonix

The sighn of enternal life, the bird of fire, the gaurdian of the pearl...
yet its so expensive in gunbound, i wanna buy one for myfriend but by the looks of it, if i want one myself i have to spend almost 60 bucks... and I'm not that rich... plus its just a game... well i dunno... if the cards here are like cheap for 30k points then I'll reconsider but right now.. it seems Its hard to even but it for him,

Well then Eva just lft me, coz somethign came up, Mat then suddenly talked to me, then he had to go too, well I suggest Vindicated as a gd mordern song, I liek it so much this is third time in a row for days I been listening to it, dunno the song just makes feel gd, i suppose...

The world today is so, strange, We arn't fworking for the future, we dont see the future of others our childern or anythign as value, we seem to be struggling on our own lives, having absolutly no reason for doing somethign but just to get money $$$$, in the past atleast they tried they knew they wanted, to make the world a better place for us!, yet we recived thier findings thier research thier motivation, thier gifts and talents, thier goal to wanting to make our lives a better place... water, cleaner, warm place to stay, shelter for all, basics of life, we see no glory in it now a days, but in the past it was such a challege soemthign we worked for, now, what are we doing, lets sell this and that and htis, yes thats nice, let sell this... yet it has no value in this world any more, it's somehting we use get bored of n throw away.... MObiles emergency lets make it for the whole world, ya so they did, lets make games for entertainment, so they did, lets help peopel reduce radiation, so they did, So now what, lets make it look gd so we can sell it for more money... Light such a basic source of us living today, no light we cant do nothing... I dunno, prehaps every one in the past has made the world to its optimum stage where there is no moe to increase, no more to make better, no more motivation, next is robots, do we really need them? I think it's great we use man power, the more lazy we get the more diseases we recive... To me interaction is more fun than, theory, dont u find it so boring when somethign u can do, is done for u automatically? I want to help the world... but i dunno what to do... so, by me writing this post I'm critizing myself too... I dunno prehaps the world has gone to the optimized age? or do u think we can ,make life any better?

Phoenix.... Enternal life...

Chris sighning off with lots of thoughts inmy head, looking around being sad that those i care abt are not gonna be seen when I'm gone, in heaven...

Continuous storms

Well currently I'm typign ,my blog n doing math..
Well the whole day my net has died on me, tho i did managae to play a few ggames of Gb. Didnt do much, practice some punches n kciks push ups sit ups... man I'm becomign unfit...
I did talk to Duy he's getting bored of Mass, coz it repeats itself, well ya Ive tolked to him abt it, the rest is confeientail.

annoyance of thoughts

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isnt it just annoying, having to think so much, I'm so thankful that mylife is much better off than others, but I'm also so sad that others have to live such a creul life... Some times I wonder if I should become a mentor, i would liek do, but can peopel trust me, what a word trust... deminishing these days, so manny scammers, so many people being tricked, trust is just becomign a word of the past... my wish was to become a trust worthy person, and so i have become one to a person, yet I seem to be sliippping away, I miss all my friends I wish i could just tell them how much i cared, just i dunno maybe its me... i want to chat to them tnormally, yet... its so hard, i dunno I'm a boring person it mayseem, I try to lighten up the world yet, my torch is runnning low on feul and soon is diminished, just liek every energy it has to covert...
I wonder if any one knows I actually love my friends, heh, well now u do, but I liek the ones close to my heart. Yet there is nothing i can do, they'll slip away one day, change dramtically, disapear some... I guess I've changed too... I have to get used to it... this blog is useful to me, coz i can express myself, i wish i could talk to people abt whats on my mind, yet i find it so hard so here i am talking on my blog, eyes abit watery, not sure why, prehaps its me thinkign abt everythign happening... I'm not depressed, parts of the tears gathering is happiness of meeting who i have already met,

Chris sighning off~ God bless, and if any one actually reads abt friends Take care, Love ya all...

Stormy Day

Well lets starts today post with a little desciption of my surroundings, today it's me sitting in a dark room wiht a window behind me, outside the window there is heavy rain, sounds rumble along the room shattering the roof with a big roar..BOOM!, Power supple has just reentered the house, and the modem has just started to work again...a fan blowinf beside me, and me sitting on a chair infront of the comp, whiles on the other side of the room ants feast over a victory of a larger sized insect inside the aircon....

Well then just now I went out co the power went out, and i was making my way to the car open the door to listen to some music I told my dog to saty out ut he kept on trying to come in, so finally the coast wasclear i slammed my door and i heard my dog cry, man I hit him, poor hting.. nvm... but hes fine wagfging his tail abit intimdated from me tho... any howz, what else did i wanna say, oh yea yesterday i got Doom 3 installed woahh... man its scary, the htings look real realstic, and the room dark makes it even more of a spooky game...

well I read mats site today he actually called me paranoid for caring, all i wanted to do was to see if i could help when he was angry abt the trade n all... and u can call that distrustful? hmmm....
Paranoid:Exhibiting or characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others: a paranoid suspicion that the phone might be bugged.
hey well like i always say never use words unles u really know what they mean... could hurt some one oh wait like it matters :) heh but its nice to be truthful lovce the hurt that comes out of it coz thats the only way i can heal, rather than me finding out and being even more angry n hurt, thats abit like brain tumour then rather than a cut? ;)

Eva aint updated her blog tho she made me update it, tut tut Go update it if u are reading this... Well then what else to say but i hope the power dont cut whiles I am writting this out :D.
yesterday was a cool nice day went to ash's house FINALLY HE INVITED ME WOHOO, nice house lots of rooms i love thier work/play area man, looks cool. decent One utama shop quite big was gonna play snooker buit there was so amny damned smokers there... decided to back off the idea... walk around chatting abt 'guys' stuff :D coz u galsjust simply wouldn't take it as a joke n endure the funniness in it :P no offence :D but I'm taking that its true, coz all i hear is form a gal, SICK! lol SICK SICK how can u even say that, or somehting along those lines :)

somethign useful for today

Well then I dont be wanting to waste oyur time to come to my blog just to listen to my life maybe i can chuck in this section for a nice wordy qoutes that makes alot of sense, you can learn form them I love them too:)
"FOCUS on making things BETTER not BIGGER"
"Dont take life too seriously, you will never get out of it alive"
Most people give up just when they're about to achoieve sucess. They quit on the yard line.
They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from winning a touch down."
Well thats all my qoute for today the last oen is my fav :) and its true!

this is Chris sighning off

EvA forced me to do this!!!

didid well conna get my licence this december i hope=/ n i hope i did well for my previous exams, my friend got a B in the sunbject he hated most! YAY lol...
so, what to dsay Ash said sleep over then he said no :P coz tmmr his driving orientaiton or matinence lecture is in english only for tommorrow SO YAY TO HIM! I want mine in engliush but i doubt i'll have it so all guess work in malay, if i fial I lost it till 21 :( or 18 as they have it in uk international drivers licence:D.... i hope i do pass....

I'm bored... dididiid hmm what else to post, ya so erm.. ya... erm posting updating dididi... this is so sad when i read back...

Alright then poeple, not ognna put a header for my blog today, coz i have no title for it ! :) any wayz. So Today I had a busy day, morning Gb with Eva so happy to see her for some reason lol odd=/ , few games with mat the pro who has over ranked me, and one with duy i think. Anyhowz, Duy I dun hate u if you are reading this, only time i didnt like it was when u called Jesus jebus and called me other religons... joke or not joke, part of some ones important Life you shouldn't try to mess with. Ok now thats out of the way
I had a hair cut for 33 bucks today, not bad nice massage whiles putting shampoo on my head, real relaxing... wanted to fall asleep :P But i didnt! then talk with my erm... Relative, and cuz together laughing abt things it's all cool keeping my mind of depression making this day quite a happy day
well dats all for today folks

Bordem

Ya, so today, i spoke to mat, he was doign gd i think, even tho he seems that he likes workign independantly, which is a gd thing, I'm not saying it's bad. yet workign independantly in a group situation isn't such a gd idea, liek twigs; if u had one twig it'll be easy to snap but if u had a group of them it'll be solid to snap. team work is gd, 2 heads are better than one like they say. But as for self realisation it's a life of independant struggles, get through soem parts alone and others wiht a friend or 2. ok enough with mat.

ok to eva now lol, (yup probally the only 2 people i actually chat to now a days!) Well eva seemed abit stressed and depressed, hope she dun smoke, pollutes the enviorment as well as her health. I know she wants to know me to some how open my mind and look insde know me inside out.... it's a a hard thing... didn't really want to tell her, but in me, there's more than just what u expect to be... a brain:P inside there... many different thoughts, maybe thigns even u havn't thought of! kinda cool, yesterday my modem wasn't working, hmph! must have been mourning over the September 11th incident, dun wanna talk abt it.... Evas a cool gal, dun spoilk yourself ya? quit smoking now, U'll save lots of money... blablabla yea money ain't important life is, so why smoke to begin with? hehe.

now back to me, Ive been so strange latley been lookign for things in the bible, shhh~~ u people who are critizing this, say it in your head, been searching for it for ages, then I prayed to God asked how can I find out abt the tounge n stuff, so yesterday I couldn't sleep opened it up read the chapters and bidi bing ba da boom, there it was done right infront of me :) ain't he great, answers my prayers.... all the time.
Man now i have calculus I think I won't do it for now to lazy haha I'll do it tmmrz during my break maybe :)
Every one have fun! dun feel down the world is down coz u feel down so go up n the world will become alot brighter!

Your Love Life by lpfloatsmyboat
Name/username/nickname:
favorite color:
best physical quaility:	hair
best personality trait:	outgoing
will you marry your bf/gf that you have now?	it depends
when will you get married?	November 28, 2015
your kiss is:	mixed messages
People date you because:	you're funny
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Well, posting time, lets see.... Gunbound is gettign slightly fun and boring at the same time ! wohoo lol, Warlords is becomng a tiny bit adicitive... and assieghments are out (boo!!!)
right then whose group am i in diididid, I don't even have a clue and by thrusday we need to hand upo the first part of the assieghment!!! :S SO, wassaaa :P lol, Ain't seen Sel on for ages, Evas been on more often yay, lol she made a guild Karma! lol funny name :D but it';s coool anuy wayz as for Mathew :P i mean MAT :P still up to his tricks on gb :P dig dig dig attack!, thats all for ow folks catch ya later.

Life goes on even when you think it stoped

Heh been trying to see life in a different prespective now thanks to mathew and eva, Cool friends of mine best I've met on the net ... lol even tho they kick ass in GB :D.
I see that life goes on around you, even tho u think that your at the bottom I knwo many more at worste makes u feel down? nah, put it this way... if u went further down how on earth are u expecting other so come up above u?, set an exsample :)

I'm glad there's people like Eva and Mathew out there, they make this world alot better place to live in, As for the world you see it at one point, why are terriorist acts even happening? well just put it this way peopel want to speak out, but the world just doesn't let them, so they want the world to regret having nothign to lose.

Ya i agree with Eva the last century was much better, more peaceful, seemed that prehaps the new generations of the last century probally worked together, now the clsoer to the future we are, we forget the word together, just see the word individual, thinkign what we have is enough, beocming lazy, needing action so we spice up things with the wrong indgredients...

prehapos if we invented new things, activbttis oys the world can work together, making this abit better world, but people still seek viloence,, having curiousity thats one thing u cannot chnage it's a shame we are so Curious, any howz that shall be all for today

THANKS TO EvA and Mathew! :)
Chris

Gunboundless/ heavy heart...

today this night I've gotten a hevaier heart.. for some reason.. getting cold too
hmm maybes coz some oen got me worried then i realssied i left many friends in ro... now I dunno no mood to play hmph...

Welll, takign this as a not.. and message to all of u... Christainy is not a religonb it is a dynamic relationship with God! :D

Well then... ain't been posting anything useful lately that Id look back n see is gd, lolz , well it'sncie and early in the mornng and I'm tired as usually :O no suprize!
Yesterday I went to pasar mnalam and got anew cover for my hand phone as well as a groovy new keypad which is actually the original one!!! :).
Talked to Sam yesterday he has a lvl 5somethign hero O_O man I need to to train faster on WBCIII but I ain't been playing much... he's got a trianing map... but he sent me the wrong file lolz... some heavy metal song :S funny!
now brunign a copying a cd into my media player.. seems to be messe dup badly !_!, talked to many people yesterday all me UK friends on my m�����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������

Well then... ain't been posting anything useful lately that Id look back n see is gd, lolz , well it'sncie and early in the mornng and I'm tired as usually :O no suprize!
Yesterday I went to pasar mnalam and got anew cover for my hand phone as well as a groovy new keypad which is actually the original one!!! :).
Talked to Sam yesterday he has a lvl 5somethign hero O_O man I need to to train faster on WBCIII but I ain't been playing much... he's got a trianing map... but he sent me the wrong file lolz... some heavy metal song :S funny!
now brunign a copying a cd into my media player.. seems to be messe dup badly !_!, talked to many people yesterday all me UK friends on my msn list besides phil,
Mathew who is from Ausie land, He stayed up all night just to play a gb game with me !!! what a sportsmanship in gaming! Selphine, sitoze Cuz, Sitoz himself.... :D those 2 ick ass in gunbound!!! Scares me... lolz
a week back i dfound out i wasn't picked for NS YAY, I'll comment that later on this post... ash got picked unfortunately... he never really wanted to get picked.. his diploma is finishing then he should do it... but he has applied for ausie unis and thier acceptance is gonna come late!!!!sighs, mit is worrid that he's gonna come back every different, I'm sure he won't only the person themselves can chnage who is within thierselves right? prehaps they watchwhat they eat, I doubt NS does that, anywayz... it'll be ok, ash can handle it!
oh yea mit seems more cheerfuls now a days with convos with me any wayz, She's cool :) I'm glad shes become more cheerful makes me less worried abt her cutting n all ;) keep it up mit I knwo u can,

NS

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Well then NS, the whole point of NS is for paitorism,... makes so many peopel not want to support Malaysia tho.... they should make it optional if peopel wanna go they should have a choice to sighn up, for those who ddun wanna go let it be... but if they wanna force poeple I tink they should make the whole Malaysia go for it, what use is it if there's a war, and only a few of us are gonna fight... anywayz... I'm sure most peopel know how to handle a gun, buit i doubt after NS any of thier morals are gonna be any higher.... especailly seeing other poeples guns and how leathal it can be, not that every one already knows, sighs NS would be so much better if they spent more of the money in our towns, improving laws enforcing the piracy n all, Well I heard a few poeple have tried to convince the mMalaysian goverment, but never works, oh wellz

BREAKFAST CYA!!!!

Chris sighning off¬!

well Ive felt abit angry lately seems like... religobn being talked abt and having a gurdge against it n trying to uncovert me.. or shall i say convert me into nothing dun seem right.... today i thought what if i didn't have God or Jesus.... For me... I would be some gangster, kill for no n.. werid.. my doiugns are gd.. but my intentions are dark...reason coz it's fun, all i have to post for now busy... chris cya

Walls break again why?!

The Wall around me is crumbling leaving me as an easy victum once again, the other day I fought abt my religon... sigh it's not for me to say who is right or wrong only God knows, we are all human, there's no super man, if there was hes kept secert for a reason....
As I think back.... I thought it's just an internet Gal, I'll get over it... but now.. I feel the scars as they burst open.. in my heart blood overflows my body, the so called fortitude of my wall crumbles, my shield rusts, my amour falls, my sword breaks... I am strong... but weakened... why wtf is wrong with me.... I said it's over.. but i still feel the heaviness, maybe it's coz she got married in a game,,, Sighs in great disgreefe... any wayz she gonaa marry in real life any way... I wonder is this how ash n mit feel abt one another... missing the old days, missing the time they spent together... the only thign is that theirs was real...
I wonder what real love is? is love even a word, u marry a companion not a lover, so tell me what is the whole point of love.... it's such a complicated word, kills u inside... man I'm a semi Vampire... I feel my self detirating... crumbling before my very own self.... but why, no need in it, heavy heart, strong will.... one day I will find some one... just not today i keep saying to myself, I say I will never have one till after my studies, and why am i cryign for one? what am i lusting for..... thristing for.... but I shouldn't... it's my heart my weak spot peirced... like a vamp i should die... but unlike a vamp I just feel pain n live... scars heal but why do they reburst.... I dunno anymore... I will heal I WILL HEAL, FFS HEAL... :( why!

Well, this post is no help for any of u but myself.. so here goes...
hmm I reallyl want some one to talk to, now adays every oen seeems so parted... or not so clsoe... I guess the only right person to talk to is God, he knwos what I am thinking any wayz... soem times I just get so worke dup with jelousy n then wonder why i am jelous of nothing.... why anger flows through my body like my very own blood n flesh... why I want to be so free, yet i dfeel so caged, today i took communion n I am not baptisted... I wonder if it was right or wrong... I've been having these feeeligns of anger so relentessly I've become such an easy target to be provoked... and such and bad person.... usually, I shoudl be a gd per��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������

Well, this post is no help for any of u but myself.. so here goes...
hmm I reallyl want some one to talk to, now adays every oen seeems so parted... or not so clsoe... I guess the only right person to talk to is God, he knwos what I am thinking any wayz... soem times I just get so worke dup with jelousy n then wonder why i am jelous of nothing.... why anger flows through my body like my very own blood n flesh... why I want to be so free, yet i dfeel so caged, today i took communion n I am not baptisted... I wonder if it was right or wrong... I've been having these feeeligns of anger so relentessly I've become such an easy target to be provoked... and such and bad person.... usually, I shoudl be a gd person.. but now a days I swear... n curse.... which i didn't use to do... soem times I hate myself to the poitn where Imy head can't cope any longer... I just feel like bursting out Destroyign everything... or just laying down n die..... btu i knwo it;;s not the wisest choice... Jesus has been here.. he';s probally the very exsistance of me being here, n still sane i suppose... I'd be permentantly lost every time i fall if it weren't for him... I rely on my friends they only put me down... I mean look at this world every thing seems to be going away and away... look at ash he as his friends... he can talk abt problems to them.... I really wanted to talk to him abt problems coz he listens n he's a gd friend... it hoguht of talkign to Jeng abt it but she seems to have changed alot,,, Eva... well lets put it this way when shes online I dun seem to have any anger or rage in me at that time... or my cuz is over I act or seem very liek the joyful n play ful type of person.... I dunno but this is all ranting... I really need to get this all out,... whats happening now in the world... what friends did i have in malaysia.,... I even look back and wonder what friends did i reallyl have the probally only friend i had in uk was sam... he helped alot i suppose i mean at least we could hang out n chat n all... mMalaysia... I wasn't a big hit or anythign... poeple knew me they just didn't reallly talk to me... I dunno do i seem socail or totally anti socail... or maybe it's all to do with my turst n they not trusting me... ahhh usually thier busy as i said a friend in malaysia would probally be Ash but he's busy now a days.... as for mit... shes very specail to me... shes my first pet sis.... and has much on her hand I want the pbest for her coz she dun deserve to live the way she is living her life... ahving doubts n everyhting.... I wish there is somehtign i can do but shes just to reluctant to accept Christ prehaps one day some one will come and help her through her life... maybe it could be me.. helping her now.. .but i really doubt it... but it's her mind n her body... hwo would i know what she is thinkning njust alll assumptions... man i been typing like speedo for this past 20 min of this post welll i best end it off now 3 23 now... ok htis is.....
Chris

....

Sighinign


offf....
forrr
now...

Puzzle

Ever wondered... or been puzzled about life? you'd think life is a liek a rollar coaster... Ups and downs... thrills n sickness... but I find life more like a puzzle.... it's like you put every peice together... but can never find the missing peice... you are so curious u venture back n forth... And when you finally find it... u see it it looks wonderful... but realise it was a wrong piece that just fitted into the the missing slot... you'd get fustrated wonder where on earth is this piece... u find it.. you complete it... you fall inlove with it...(abit extreme but hey who knows) and it's so fragile that one slip it falls into pieces again... you sigh... in great grief sadness over comes u, you cry, as you can't handle the pain of putting it back to gether... and when you start to get yourself together... u start the puzzle all over again in a little cycle... untill one day, it's framed, and nothign can hurt it , bullet proff glass and fire proff paint, wood that can never be rotted or burnt... nothing..., that is the time when u are reliefed... and have great rest and achievement...

this is Chris, Curious abt mit, curious abt ash, and curious abt whats happening now... (Curiosity killed the cat, but the cat lived another 8 times...)

Now i know...

hmm... ever wondered why Farthers are so screwed up? hah... no thier not:P so erase that out of your head... Really it's all about care... I guess there are different ways of care... one is strict... shout n lecture u all you do is when he turns around curse n shout or sit there wondering why is this world so messed up... You'll unravel that through expereince..
OR
theres that motherly love... if u never had a strict mother... one that would hold ya hand through troubles.. one that will help u soilve your problems... u are reliefed... but even though that love is given to you... you some times dey it.. nto wantign to lose... so either way u sit down n still wonder wth is wronf with this world again...
, A fine exsample of motherly love... it's ok dear there's al;ways another time
...a fine respomnse to it...
WHAT U MEAN ANOTHER TIME.... NO WAY I BLEW IT THERES NOT OTHER CHANCE ARgh WHY DUN U UNDERStaND!
,Fine exsample of stric caring...
Don't Cook u just came out of hospitol da doc said u arn't alowed to cook, lemme do it for u.. u go and rest...
A fine response...
( yea ok thanks)...<< i wish... NO U GO AWAY I'M DOING IT U HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO COOK JUST LET ME DO IT!!!(YES... THATS AN REAL EXSAMPLE THROUGH MY EXPEREINCE<<SO either way u reject why not accept...
Now I knwo how the stubborness of humans Got God angry too...
So much care n we reject... it's a shame... nto all of us are liek this... I'm glad we still have ones that endure the care n love... it's not rarte it's every where... just u think it's so far away yet it's so close...
Chris sighning off...

Now I know...

Ever wondered why farthers are so screwed up?.... well thier not so get that out of your head:P... Well lets put it this way

• Strict care/love
• motherly care/love

Strict love/care...

You ever wondered... wth is wrong with me parents... why the heck are they shouting at me... what did i do wrong... no need to lecture me, I've ndone nothing wrong... I hate them... or...u think WHy is this world so messed up... u'll find out later on in life...

eg...

Don't Cook you just came out of hospitol n the doc said for you to rest... you can't cook, or you'll over strain yourself n end up back in hospitol...

Response...

GET OUTT OF THE WAY... DON'T TOUCH AND THING... STUPID.... YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE THINGS IS... YOU DUNNO HOW TO DO ANYTHING.. SO BUGGER OFF!!!

Motherly love/Care

This is the caring that is given to you.. n u some times accept it... it conforts u, gently, hodls you hand.. all the way.. Solves your doubts and your greatful... but some times if you think .. u dun like it at all...

Example of this care/love

Dear there's always another time you only missed out this once... hwo about next year.. they have one yearly, it's ok :)

nice response...

(i suppose so,....)--- u think u'll see this often... or this.... WHAT YOU MEAN HUH? ANOTHER CHANCE NO THIS WAS MY ONLY CHANCE DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHY CAN'T YOU JUST HEAR ME FOR ONCE.. I BLEW IT.. N I CAN'T GET IT BACK SO **** OFF!!!! I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY!!!

after words feeling guilty... or raged in anger.. you punch the wall.. or sit and wonder why your life is so screwed up, well either way u still reject this love...

Now I know why God must have been pretty angry when he was giving out all his care n love us humans just walked away... so sturborn...

This is Chris sighning off

Grow up!

So, Tell me have you ever heard this phrase before'Grow up!'. I mean yes, Grow up... but your telling Kidz to grow up.. please open your eyes we r only kidz.... we should be liek kids... but when we do act grown up... you say hey... why are you being so mature u should be enjoying your life... So this phrase is wrong... but in a sense growing up is a good thiing coz it helps you become prepared for the future... SO really you'll have to be kidz at 1-12, 13-15 teenagers, 16- 18 Half kid half adult... it's not good to not enjoy yourself n have adult stress. so Enjoy!

Did you know?

Did you know britney n Eveasence however u spell thier name... has the same song background.. but different lircics... one is Every time I try to fly i fall without my wings... the other is, when you cry I wipe away your tears... when you scream i fight away all your fears... oh welll lol just some info will post laterz if I dun feel lazy cioaz...

The

Burning

Inside

Some times I wonder... If I had a choice of a heart... what would i pick...

• Black
• Gold
• Red?
• Blue..
• yellow

hmm you'd never guess I would pick black... Black as in the evil that surrounds me n that is pumping around me... but with in that black heart is a light... shining light... A light of good. heh I suppose that little bit of good keeps me going in this world...

I dunno whats wrogn with me today... juust pissed before... after chess, get hom pissed as in angryo.O and then in GB man... just a game n i can be pissed, haiz... then i go into the car n realise that I hate my self so much I feel the anger pumping in my artries not my veins since viens are just blood trickling around here n there :Pheh, I know what to do... it's just i dun want to fix it it's hard to explain I dunno how to say it.... prehaps i endure n like this hatered of mine? ... prehaps the little bit of good is what makes me become who i am to the naked eye of people..... only one guy can see through me n it's God... I praise him for being merciful... I praise Jesus for Saving me.... I pity those who don't believe... and if i could I'd call those who feel the presence....

This is Chris Sighning off

nice friday

wow Yesterday was a cool day, I went to midvalley with my old seocndary school friend. He brought some friends of his along ^^ it was cool, at least i got to meet some new, I guess i ain't been out for ages, could be affecting my l;ife... never really felt gd in a long time... ever since i went out with me friends last lol which was... a long time ago...
SO, Ash if u read this i wanna say, thanks for being my friend for da [past few years, even tho i have tuanted u like dunnoo... but ... haha no buts :P. So my grammer is still, weak? lol. Must be look at me trying to type this out.

hmm what i been thinking about...

We have friends... We have people we are friendly to, and then we have true friends.... belive it or not, for no reason at all tears were running down my cheek this morning, then i thought... of all my friends, I thought of the true ones... n i thought of the friends... every thime i think at the end it comes back to the same old statement... 'We marry a companion, not a lover...'
heh anywayz... i been wanting to talk to ash about somethign i will not put here... so, my life sux, but still I'm glad that even tho it sux I have u guys, n I know i can help, but sometimes, it hit me, the same story told to me 2 times, once in church once in primary...

the story

there was once a man, who came across a cacoon. Day and night he would come n visit this cacoon. Then at one point when he came n had a look, he saw an insect trying to get out, this insect was struggling real hard to get out of it's cacoon. The man felt sorry for the insect(butter fly) so he decided to help, after all ir seemed ok, so he took his siccors from his car... n sniped the tp of the cacoon. the insect got out with ease.... after that, the man watched for hours, he was waiting for this butterfly to spread it's wings n fly away. The butterfly was dark.. n it's wings was always low, it could never fly again...(butterfflys struggled out of a cacoon, so that all the juice would be pushed up to the wings n it will open up and become bueatiful.... as for this struggles were made so that we could get success at the end...)

well... every time befor i sleep this one phrase keeps coming back into me... It's somethign some one once said to me..., you marry a companion not a lover... well I dunno keeps coming back to my head isit right I'm not sure... but i guess it's correct... hmmm, the other day BLOODY SOING HING acted liek a sLUT!!! gurl who wanted to meet me in sunway college n told ne to bring a vcondam o.O what a BUGGER!!!! grrr... alll this time it hought that every one was wrong about him you know.,.. about the bluffinfg of the so called 'rumour...' but i can see it clearly now he's a lying peioce of... *BEEEEP* ../. sigh.. it doesn't matter... hmm bin wandering where eva's been... need her helkp in java scrupt n all i wanna know how to do all those cool animated affects!!!, ne howz Chris I'm off...