A Heavy Blow

As I try to lift my sword.. I feel weak, it seems like I have been given a heavy blow, I turn my eyes and see the demon before me laughing... as I try to swing my sword.. I feel at defeats ground... as I am losing my energy, I see my way is destroying me...

Oh where is my support? where have you all gone?...My shield feels heavy, I feel at lost... but some one hasn't given up on me yet... some one is still there. as I see the demon laughing thats all he can do, coz it seems some one is protecting me.. a ray of light and hope.

Thanks God.

As the days past..
and the flowers withers,
So as blood is shed,
and tears the same..

What do we look for in this life,
As peace is given,
love and kindess..
Why do we crave for more?

As my heart sinks and my mind blows,
God help me..
GOd please be with me...
I dun wanna be selfish,
I dun wanna take a life which is not mine..
Oh God help me.. I dun want to burden others,
God help me
GOd be with me
God take my hand
God let me breath..
God protect her,
God take my cares,
Coz I dun want to worry,
I want to think of what is good, pure right,...

God I wish not to be so selfish,
Help me to be less selfish...
I wish only..
You know my heart best..
God..
I am sad God..

But no one will see my sadness..
No one will stand next to me,
hold me close,
or listen to me,
Who will care?
Only you God...

I feel like I miss her God,
sometimes I wonder where she disappears to God..
could you tell me so I never have to ask her again?
But thats what you want me to do right?
ask her...
then what do I do when she don't reply?
You say wait..

Oh God... I know your grooming patience in me..
I must wait...
God.. but God take worry away from me as you groom my patience...
help me know the right timing..
God I have fallen too deep...
I want to fall deeper in love with you..

God.. oh God! please God...

Fly.into.the.working.world.com.my

Sigh... Hi all hehe... I am trying to make this blog as least depressing as possible hehe... Sometimes I wonder if I made the right steps in life... or if I should have taken the other decision.. sometimes I feel weak and useless.. and sometimes I feel like I rob people from their dreams... rob people from opportunity... I feel pretty selfish these days, esp to my dear... I seem to want more and more attention from her... I know thats not possible... she's a real busy girl...

So flying into the working world what do I mean? I feel like I want to fly into the working world around the world.. at times some times I don't haha! but right now I am stationed here to learn as much as possible this I believe...

Anywayz, I realised how much more I need God these days.. I need Him to guide and teach me... I know he has given me the cutting edge with the bible in hand and the Holy Spirit within.. but I havn't really been reading the bible, nor asking the Holy Spirit to guide me hehe..


Any way thats all for todays post

God bless
-Chris

Needs and wants

You know it's funny, some people will be around when you need them the most(some one in the family sick, they themselves are sick,death, finical difficulty. ect.) Those are the people who leave an imprint in your heart.

Then there are others who abandon you when you need them most next to you, but are there just for good times.

Another type is keep close to you, when they need you, and shove u aside when they don't.

:)... some times I need some one next to me when things are not going well... in my life... I thank God he's always there.. He has saved my life several times... but sometimes as humans we also seek comfort from another human hehe =).

so I would like to thank some people who have imprinted themselves in my heart in terms of comfort...

Florence (My ex Cg Leader)
Ally Oink Oink
Ashley James leow
Jeng
Sher mei(though broke it very hard lol)
and well kherlit...

Thanks you all ^^ been good pals to me, Others I consider you close but these are people who really held me by hand and brought me through my difficulties... when I was down and going to die.. God sent these wonderful people to help me out..

God bless ya all,
-Chris

Fed Up!

That's right! I'm fed up.. Fed up with my attitude, fed up with depression and fed up of sadness!

You know I realised, in this world... we only have a few choices... but in those choices there are many choices.. take for example, We have a choice to go God's way, or the Devil's way... Either way there's huge impacts in our lives...

But that's not what I want to talk abt today. I want to make this blog a happy blog :) but thats not the only thing I want. I want to start living the life God intended me to... You know I realised that depression is a sense of self pity and self comfort.. when we get depressed we some how get real comfortable in it.. and it seems hard to get out! but the deeper we get the more we want to escape.. the harder the grasp of Depression gets.... But that's not what God wants isit? God wants us to be happy and enjoy life. God says don't get into certain things not so much to control us I guess, but to help us live a life of potential and fulfilled life, Minimal damage, maximum pleasure. It's a bit like this, I give you a set of instructions, if you follow them you will have ease in going throughout the entire process, Then in those instructions I write caution: this n this could cause much damage, please avoid such actions. Then you go ahead and do what I said was dangerous... ending the process and possibly injuring you or cause death. I believe there is a God and I believe He created this world, I believe His ways are always wiser and better, higher and has more insight to it than my ways ever have.

Eyes hurting? relax a lil look at God's beautiful creation!:)

But Here's the amazing part of it all.. Sin as we know it is destructive, defiantly injures you in some way, thats how we get this funny word called karma, then it will eventually destroy you and put you in the position of death, thats the place we call hell... But all this doesn't happen immediately no no, it happens slowly like smoking.. u get hooked, you know it's bad, you know it can kill you, but you just can't get out.. eventually it can kill u...

But Even more amazing is God sent some one down to die! replace.. take away all that sin from us and place it on Him, His name is Jesus... I find it remarkable! Does this mean God is in the business of bypassing sin? nah HE took it pretty serious, so much so that Jesus took our place in that seriousness and went to hell. (Jesus went to hell bet you didn't know that?) then He came back to justify us, for our redemption... exchanging his life for ours... and went back to God in heaven...

So what happens when we sin now? most certainly it still damages us as Christians, if your not aa Christian, I am not the Judge :) only God will Judge ya.. (you can become a Christian easy ;) ask your Christian friend) But as Christians Sin will still hurt us.. will still damage our lives, we can still be effected by it... If we are sinning in our lives, God is still gracious, but we are missing out on lots of things God wants us to be free from ! I'm not saying you won't go to heaven, but surely God wants you to experience heaven on earth =).

Honestly, how do we get out of sin? as Christians if we already have been forgiven, easy, Let go let God, repent(turn back to God) ask for His helping hand.. Be still, Focus on Jesus, let His ideas flow to you, write them down... THEN only THEN you can go and ask some leaders if what you heard is from God or not :) But God will always help, Will always have His arms open for you :) This is the amazing grace, and love of our God, This is the amazing love that through Jesus's death, Resurrection and departure we are able to recieve the full measure of God's blessing!

Sadness

I don't know.. I guess I am dwelling on the wrong things lol! this is why God probably brought me to bible study tonight!

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

I was gussing tonights bible class was really speaking to me.. Take a break relax.. and dwell on good things in life..

I'm telling you this couples of weeks I have been swelling on so much hate and anger... so much so I someitmes want to pour it all out on my poor dear.. then when I see her 'seeming' like she doesn't care, but in my heart I know she does... I get so frustrated and sad..

I know she's human :) and I guess thats what makes her click with me hehe... So God I'm trusting in you... fill my mind with good things!

-Chris

Let Go

They say that if you love some one enough you will let them go... sometimes I wonder... what that means hehe.. ah well... then they said if they come back to you then they truly are yours...

what is wise and what is foolish? do we know? we are not God nor are we able to control things... I wonder sometimes is it wise for a spouse to go out with the opposite sex alone? haha.. I thought abt it and wondered... in a bf gf relationship it's fine... but what if it gets deeper into a marriage o.O... My say, nah best not to when your married what you all think? you might end up falling in love with some one else, or end up commiting adultry haha... But if u know ur going to do it before u are married, then it's best not to get married right?...

But is it avoidable? what if you have a friend in desperate need of your comfort or voice? talk to them on the phone seems impersonal right? but I guess it's better than talking alone... hehe... I just wonder.. coz there are people who say if you really must advice them... go with your spouse.. but will they pour out with your spouse around? ah well who knows...

=) I love ya God... and you love me more... so much more that you took my sins... you made a way for me.. Thanks.. give me strength.. paitence.. wisdom.. help me to be humble.. and not angry... help me to be peacful and not in chaos.. help me understand you more :)

Thank you God for your everlasting love for me.

God bless ya all reading here!

-Chris

Crazy in love

Hi boys and girls and aliens, Chris is back =)! So whats been happening.. well church has been awesome.. Reminded me that Christ is the solid rock we should be standing on and not putting all our hope on money, which is so UNCERTAIN. Or our self worth to materials like a BMW, nor should we resent the rich or despise the poor... but continue to live life happily hehe.

Truly God is good :) I'm so glad I was born into a family whom loves God so much... :)!

Hehe actually crazy in love was referring to my dear.. recently I just seemed to be so in love with her.. so in love until I can't stop thinking of her haha! obviously God is still first :) without him how would it be possible for love to sustain it self? after all God is love hehe...

Any way thats all for now

God bless ya all!
-Chris

Tagged by My Dear =)

Nickname : Chris, Chrisy, Chis, Christina? haha
Married : not married YET.
Male/Female : Male
High School : St Telios / Garden international school
College : Sunway university college
Short/ Long Hair : short considered
Are u a health freak : define health freak haha a lil health conscious
Height : 178cm
Like anyone Now? : Well isn't it obvious? look to your right>>
Do u like yourself : haha up to a certain extent still learning to like myself more.
Piercings : came naturally on my left ear, but gone already
Righty of lefty : Righty ... if it means right handed :P



First....

Surgery : Never
Piercing : Like I said it came naturally when I was born lol
Person u see in the morning : Dad Mum and grandma....
Award : awarded for blogging haha!
Sport you joined : badminton, basket ball, swimming... and others I forget :P
Pet : dogs, fishes
Vacation : Singapore when I was 2 yrs old! like i remember haha
First crush : Laura ermmm forgot her last name dy hehe...


Currently...

Eating: absolutely nothing
Drinking: water
I'm about to : finish this thing...


Your future...

Want kids : of course hehe =D
Want to get married: yea defiantly
Careers in mind: Designing... SAP... property... ect =p
Which is better?Lips or eyes?: EYES hehehe
Hugs or kisses: kisses depending on what type, if just a peck then hugs :P
Shorter or taller?: now this relates to my future what? hahah!
Romantic or spontaneous: romantic
Sensitive or loud: Sensitive
Troublemaker or hesitant?: hesitant


Have u ever....

Kissed a stranger?: nope
Drank bubbles: yeap not a fan tho
Lost glasses/contacts: yes my sunglasses many of them.. >.<
Ran away from home: yes... but returned later that day
liked someone younger: of course hehe
liked someone older: yeap
Broke someone's heart: yes....
Cried when someone died: yea.... family member

Do u believe in...

Yourself?: yeap
Miracles: yesh!!! I'm living in one now
Heaven: of course
Santa Claus: once upon a time
Magic: yeap... well the devils gotta have some sort of power, if their not miracles then their magic
Angels: of course~ if I believe in heaven and hell, angels have to exist haha
Is there someone you want to be with right now?: My dear~
Do u believe in God?: Yes of course, how else do we have this earth?


Tag 5 people:
Huang Ty :P
Ally
Alexander TEEEE
ET
Mr.Sohai in my chat box =p

interessing stuffs.. check this out the other day I was in ampcorp mall and boom! interresting way to use tissue haha!



Thats all!
Chris

update

Now I'm back haha! well yesterday I worked till 12am pretty fun tho considering that I learned way more than I ever did than just going to class. I think it's decent having a guide and just following it along the way having different screens trying to logically figure things out... :) I really enjoyed work last night. I was with another person who never did an sap installation before both of us were working on it wondering what to do how to do... then my colleague stumbled across a user guide simple yet effective!

I figured that when you work in a group on something u know very little on and your partner also knows very little on you get more things done and learn way more than if you were with a senior and just watched him do everything. I can testify to that one.... coz seniors, I dun blame them know much more than trainee and juniors. SO they tend to work WAY faster than all of us..., but problem comes when the junior can't figure out how the senior got to that conclusion is the worst part. for example you took some notes down to try and memorize how things were done the moment u look up your on the next 3 steps.. and u missed out 2 steps.. or lets say you want to go to the toilet... then they have finished the entire thing by the time u return! lol a bit sad but true. But yesterday was cool... my colleague waited for me to come back from toilet n all so we don't miss a thing at all! very decent very nice... learned a lot :).

So what else has been happening in my life... well sickness has seem to be flying around recently so many people falling ill hehe but I predict this season of sickness will pass very quickly =)! I think theres a new blog upcoming that will be of interest to everyone who even bothers to read or accidentally reads my blog coming soon :D

Any howz God bless ya all!
-Chris

sick :X

Well since Friday been sick urgh... terrible.. diagnosed with gastritis, I carried on taking my meds.. man was suffering so badly.. had diarrhea 12 times in one day.. and went to the docs on monday... new diagnosis food poisoning! lol! I was like man strange diagnostics .

So hows life? great good. What abt walk with God.. Well to be honest, I can't really say.. hehe.. ^_^. so what is there to blog really? No idea just thought I'd up date a lil for the sake of updating!

God bless
-Chris

::In life we are forever searching and looking for the solution, trying to get back to the creator. Here's the simple truth of it all, Jesus Has came, Died, Rose again so you can finally really be reconciled with the creator! ::