Disturbed ~_~

Man, today whole day Ive been disturbed I couldnt even hear what my lecturer said after 2 seconds.. i was liek huih what did she say... uw anna know why I am disturbed firstly... the maid made some coffee for me i said not.. secondly she made magimee for me I said NO!, thridly SHE TRIED TO BLOODY KISS ME!, now thats the disturbing side... *shivers... now every ngiht i have to lock myself in my own room just for my own protection.. coz apparently she walks into my room when i am sleeping!Oh my goodness... thats so bad... :S any wayz thats all for today

yay another sad crap blog.... coz i wanna be sad.. coz i miss my friend... so sad... haiz.. no more... coz I dunw ant u guys to know any more

Just thoughts..

totday i went to a plubic speaking workshop, ya man its was GREAT... the guy was such a gd speaker, keep the whole crowd laughing happy and most importantly attentive, he talked abt skills n how u can improve when speaking, what to avoid and what to do.... was great...

fortunatly...or unfortunatly i dunno this part is personal only the popel who knows her will knwo what i mean... I saw a gurl, hmm... she looked so pretty, but she looks so fimmilair... so today, I went all the way bac to my pics on my comp, this pic was before i formated... Looked for Michele's pic, Michele (note one l) hmm looked carefully and thoguht back... woah... thier almost identical... no wonde ri was looking at her, and thinking she was so gd looking =/ heh, maybe it it her :O but i doubt it... kinda cool, but i'd rather not get myself into hassle trying to get soemthign i want, so bad, and realising that at the end its been taken, then I have to go through all that depression slide again... somethign I dun wanna do, Ive seen that Girl several times... but shes usually alone maybe coz her bf or fiancei is waiting outside for her? or maybe its her husband! :O welll over the top there but hey i dunno... oh well, anywayz, Mich if ya readin' this, where have ya gone to, college? hows college if u have gone... mustbe fun! escaping form hoimme.... going out hanging out, I dunno maybe u should try it, making new friends too huh? if u are reading this, tell me, can you please at least tag a message in the Tag board... just one? just to make me self assured your still around in my life =/ or have u really disapeared just liek that?... sigh... oh well,
this is my thoughts for now... looking at that pic really goes deep inside me to the past, heh, my more 'soft' side? I dunno back door lol any way, I'd best stop this post or YA ALL FALL ASLEEP, and start asking whose mich, whats she mean to you, lol, sitoz Max, and Jeng will know... Ash it's not mit coz i never call mit mich got it?... Cya all

Super IQ test results

http://web.tickle.com/tests/superiq/result.jsp
Chris, your Super IQ score is 103

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.The way you think about things makes you an Intuitive Interpreter. This means you are a highly conceptual thinker. Rather than focusing on facts and figures, you look at the big picture. You are less inclined to need to walk through something step by step to understand the logic behind it. This also lets you make connections between something you learned three weeks ago and something you are learning today. While other people need those types of connections pointed out for them, you just naturally make them.
How did we determine that your thinking style is that of an Intuitive Interpreter? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you an Intuitive Interpreter. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

Silence..

Silence, what a beauty, keeps you out of trouble, lets u be quiet, keeping all your thoughts in, even though u wanna speak out and help, just a friend... they blast back at you, pissed, for u even trying to be concerned for them... I suppose I should be the quiet type as i have always been in UK... never hearing a single voice... a single word coming out of my mouth... This shall be the place I'll give out my thoughts... it's up to you if u wanna read, but I dunno... perhaps SILENCE is all well, perhaps i should stop walking into peoples lives let them live it.. its not mine... perhaps i shouldn't help... perhaps helping does the other thing... kills some ones thought.. kills a dream kills a emotion... presses the red button... there’s a time to help a time to SHUT UP!.... If only people knew that i wanted to help so bad... but the more i try.. the more i kill... I'm a mass murderer perhaps? Perhaps I am stupid... Perhaps the dream i made long ago was all a lie.. perhaps I shouldn’t help.. perhaps help is a bad word... I dunno.

Silence... hey, I should stop writing but its my free will, I want to write this... I wanna tell you, but u guys are like the wind, blows past me, silently... I dunno... hey, depression doesn’t feel that bad, feels great u get to punch yourself... opens up your eyes, makes u realize what u have been doing wrong... not like i wanna be depressed forever.../ not that i am now... I'm semi angry, yet I feel so sad... yet I'm not longer angry... I'm silent... Pls what’s wrong?... what do you mean?... so quiet?, heh yea...
heh yea---> that’s right i am... I wanna tell u so much.. but u cant see... I want to tell u everything.. but u wont listen... I wantyou to care... but i cant receive, coz I'm blind... I feel nothing... I'm numb.... everything is wrong... I'm slipping away.... perhaps this is the way... Perhaps I'm too selfish... perhaps I'm wrong.... yet i thought it was so right....

no matter what i do it's wrong.. the helping is wrong... i fail to see the help working... but when i do... I wished that help would work the same way for all... (wtf? what’s Chris on about? is he lost it? he should shut up coz he's making him self look SO STUPID...) So what? It's not your problem... its mine. U wanna help, why not open up your eyes for once? , yes, I hate hurting people... yes, I hate rebelling against gd ideas... but if there's a fault, maybe its mine! but I don’t show its mine... PREHAPS ITS YOURS... perhaps it isn't... hey, what are friends for? to care to help? but maybe... there are no friends for me.... maybe there is.... but no one ever gets even close... I dunno, maybe one day some one will break through my wall of concrete, hate, love, broken hearts, pain, pleasure and last of all.... Hurt... I'm no hero, yet I am no low life... whose a low life? no one only those who say they are, or those who say others are, coz u cant see their trying to make themselves better, their trying to make the world better, what do we do kick em away, so before u even see what i am, u have to look deep within yourself n say am i ready to say the things I am? perhaps, silence.. is the best solution?
To me Silence is some one within pain and torment wanting to speak out.... to you its something that u can cage, so no one will know u any better, so u can stop your pain from flowing outside of u, so u can hold on to it and not let it go...

pheonix

The sighn of enternal life, the bird of fire, the gaurdian of the pearl...
yet its so expensive in gunbound, i wanna buy one for myfriend but by the looks of it, if i want one myself i have to spend almost 60 bucks... and I'm not that rich... plus its just a game... well i dunno... if the cards here are like cheap for 30k points then I'll reconsider but right now.. it seems Its hard to even but it for him,

Well then Eva just lft me, coz somethign came up, Mat then suddenly talked to me, then he had to go too, well I suggest Vindicated as a gd mordern song, I liek it so much this is third time in a row for days I been listening to it, dunno the song just makes feel gd, i suppose...

The world today is so, strange, We arn't fworking for the future, we dont see the future of others our childern or anythign as value, we seem to be struggling on our own lives, having absolutly no reason for doing somethign but just to get money $$$$, in the past atleast they tried they knew they wanted, to make the world a better place for us!, yet we recived thier findings thier research thier motivation, thier gifts and talents, thier goal to wanting to make our lives a better place... water, cleaner, warm place to stay, shelter for all, basics of life, we see no glory in it now a days, but in the past it was such a challege soemthign we worked for, now, what are we doing, lets sell this and that and htis, yes thats nice, let sell this... yet it has no value in this world any more, it's somehting we use get bored of n throw away.... MObiles emergency lets make it for the whole world, ya so they did, lets make games for entertainment, so they did, lets help peopel reduce radiation, so they did, So now what, lets make it look gd so we can sell it for more money... Light such a basic source of us living today, no light we cant do nothing... I dunno, prehaps every one in the past has made the world to its optimum stage where there is no moe to increase, no more to make better, no more motivation, next is robots, do we really need them? I think it's great we use man power, the more lazy we get the more diseases we recive... To me interaction is more fun than, theory, dont u find it so boring when somethign u can do, is done for u automatically? I want to help the world... but i dunno what to do... so, by me writing this post I'm critizing myself too... I dunno prehaps the world has gone to the optimized age? or do u think we can ,make life any better?

Phoenix.... Enternal life...

Chris sighning off with lots of thoughts inmy head, looking around being sad that those i care abt are not gonna be seen when I'm gone, in heaven...

Continuous storms

Well currently I'm typign ,my blog n doing math..
Well the whole day my net has died on me, tho i did managae to play a few ggames of Gb. Didnt do much, practice some punches n kciks push ups sit ups... man I'm becomign unfit...
I did talk to Duy he's getting bored of Mass, coz it repeats itself, well ya Ive tolked to him abt it, the rest is confeientail.

annoyance of thoughts

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isnt it just annoying, having to think so much, I'm so thankful that mylife is much better off than others, but I'm also so sad that others have to live such a creul life... Some times I wonder if I should become a mentor, i would liek do, but can peopel trust me, what a word trust... deminishing these days, so manny scammers, so many people being tricked, trust is just becomign a word of the past... my wish was to become a trust worthy person, and so i have become one to a person, yet I seem to be sliippping away, I miss all my friends I wish i could just tell them how much i cared, just i dunno maybe its me... i want to chat to them tnormally, yet... its so hard, i dunno I'm a boring person it mayseem, I try to lighten up the world yet, my torch is runnning low on feul and soon is diminished, just liek every energy it has to covert...
I wonder if any one knows I actually love my friends, heh, well now u do, but I liek the ones close to my heart. Yet there is nothing i can do, they'll slip away one day, change dramtically, disapear some... I guess I've changed too... I have to get used to it... this blog is useful to me, coz i can express myself, i wish i could talk to people abt whats on my mind, yet i find it so hard so here i am talking on my blog, eyes abit watery, not sure why, prehaps its me thinkign abt everythign happening... I'm not depressed, parts of the tears gathering is happiness of meeting who i have already met,

Chris sighning off~ God bless, and if any one actually reads abt friends Take care, Love ya all...

Stormy Day

Well lets starts today post with a little desciption of my surroundings, today it's me sitting in a dark room wiht a window behind me, outside the window there is heavy rain, sounds rumble along the room shattering the roof with a big roar..BOOM!, Power supple has just reentered the house, and the modem has just started to work again...a fan blowinf beside me, and me sitting on a chair infront of the comp, whiles on the other side of the room ants feast over a victory of a larger sized insect inside the aircon....

Well then just now I went out co the power went out, and i was making my way to the car open the door to listen to some music I told my dog to saty out ut he kept on trying to come in, so finally the coast wasclear i slammed my door and i heard my dog cry, man I hit him, poor hting.. nvm... but hes fine wagfging his tail abit intimdated from me tho... any howz, what else did i wanna say, oh yea yesterday i got Doom 3 installed woahh... man its scary, the htings look real realstic, and the room dark makes it even more of a spooky game...

well I read mats site today he actually called me paranoid for caring, all i wanted to do was to see if i could help when he was angry abt the trade n all... and u can call that distrustful? hmmm....
Paranoid:Exhibiting or characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others: a paranoid suspicion that the phone might be bugged.
hey well like i always say never use words unles u really know what they mean... could hurt some one oh wait like it matters :) heh but its nice to be truthful lovce the hurt that comes out of it coz thats the only way i can heal, rather than me finding out and being even more angry n hurt, thats abit like brain tumour then rather than a cut? ;)

Eva aint updated her blog tho she made me update it, tut tut Go update it if u are reading this... Well then what else to say but i hope the power dont cut whiles I am writting this out :D.
yesterday was a cool nice day went to ash's house FINALLY HE INVITED ME WOHOO, nice house lots of rooms i love thier work/play area man, looks cool. decent One utama shop quite big was gonna play snooker buit there was so amny damned smokers there... decided to back off the idea... walk around chatting abt 'guys' stuff :D coz u galsjust simply wouldn't take it as a joke n endure the funniness in it :P no offence :D but I'm taking that its true, coz all i hear is form a gal, SICK! lol SICK SICK how can u even say that, or somehting along those lines :)

somethign useful for today

Well then I dont be wanting to waste oyur time to come to my blog just to listen to my life maybe i can chuck in this section for a nice wordy qoutes that makes alot of sense, you can learn form them I love them too:)
"FOCUS on making things BETTER not BIGGER"
"Dont take life too seriously, you will never get out of it alive"
Most people give up just when they're about to achoieve sucess. They quit on the yard line.
They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from winning a touch down."
Well thats all my qoute for today the last oen is my fav :) and its true!

this is Chris sighning off

EvA forced me to do this!!!

didid well conna get my licence this december i hope=/ n i hope i did well for my previous exams, my friend got a B in the sunbject he hated most! YAY lol...
so, what to dsay Ash said sleep over then he said no :P coz tmmr his driving orientaiton or matinence lecture is in english only for tommorrow SO YAY TO HIM! I want mine in engliush but i doubt i'll have it so all guess work in malay, if i fial I lost it till 21 :( or 18 as they have it in uk international drivers licence:D.... i hope i do pass....

I'm bored... dididiid hmm what else to post, ya so erm.. ya... erm posting updating dididi... this is so sad when i read back...

Alright then poeple, not ognna put a header for my blog today, coz i have no title for it ! :) any wayz. So Today I had a busy day, morning Gb with Eva so happy to see her for some reason lol odd=/ , few games with mat the pro who has over ranked me, and one with duy i think. Anyhowz, Duy I dun hate u if you are reading this, only time i didnt like it was when u called Jesus jebus and called me other religons... joke or not joke, part of some ones important Life you shouldn't try to mess with. Ok now thats out of the way
I had a hair cut for 33 bucks today, not bad nice massage whiles putting shampoo on my head, real relaxing... wanted to fall asleep :P But i didnt! then talk with my erm... Relative, and cuz together laughing abt things it's all cool keeping my mind of depression making this day quite a happy day
well dats all for today folks

Bordem

Ya, so today, i spoke to mat, he was doign gd i think, even tho he seems that he likes workign independantly, which is a gd thing, I'm not saying it's bad. yet workign independantly in a group situation isn't such a gd idea, liek twigs; if u had one twig it'll be easy to snap but if u had a group of them it'll be solid to snap. team work is gd, 2 heads are better than one like they say. But as for self realisation it's a life of independant struggles, get through soem parts alone and others wiht a friend or 2. ok enough with mat.

ok to eva now lol, (yup probally the only 2 people i actually chat to now a days!) Well eva seemed abit stressed and depressed, hope she dun smoke, pollutes the enviorment as well as her health. I know she wants to know me to some how open my mind and look insde know me inside out.... it's a a hard thing... didn't really want to tell her, but in me, there's more than just what u expect to be... a brain:P inside there... many different thoughts, maybe thigns even u havn't thought of! kinda cool, yesterday my modem wasn't working, hmph! must have been mourning over the September 11th incident, dun wanna talk abt it.... Evas a cool gal, dun spoilk yourself ya? quit smoking now, U'll save lots of money... blablabla yea money ain't important life is, so why smoke to begin with? hehe.

now back to me, Ive been so strange latley been lookign for things in the bible, shhh~~ u people who are critizing this, say it in your head, been searching for it for ages, then I prayed to God asked how can I find out abt the tounge n stuff, so yesterday I couldn't sleep opened it up read the chapters and bidi bing ba da boom, there it was done right infront of me :) ain't he great, answers my prayers.... all the time.
Man now i have calculus I think I won't do it for now to lazy haha I'll do it tmmrz during my break maybe :)
Every one have fun! dun feel down the world is down coz u feel down so go up n the world will become alot brighter!

Your Love Life by lpfloatsmyboat
Name/username/nickname:
favorite color:
best physical quaility:	hair
best personality trait:	outgoing
will you marry your bf/gf that you have now?	it depends
when will you get married?	November 28, 2015
your kiss is:	mixed messages
People date you because:	you're funny
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Well, posting time, lets see.... Gunbound is gettign slightly fun and boring at the same time ! wohoo lol, Warlords is becomng a tiny bit adicitive... and assieghments are out (boo!!!)
right then whose group am i in diididid, I don't even have a clue and by thrusday we need to hand upo the first part of the assieghment!!! :S SO, wassaaa :P lol, Ain't seen Sel on for ages, Evas been on more often yay, lol she made a guild Karma! lol funny name :D but it';s coool anuy wayz as for Mathew :P i mean MAT :P still up to his tricks on gb :P dig dig dig attack!, thats all for ow folks catch ya later.

Life goes on even when you think it stoped

Heh been trying to see life in a different prespective now thanks to mathew and eva, Cool friends of mine best I've met on the net ... lol even tho they kick ass in GB :D.
I see that life goes on around you, even tho u think that your at the bottom I knwo many more at worste makes u feel down? nah, put it this way... if u went further down how on earth are u expecting other so come up above u?, set an exsample :)

I'm glad there's people like Eva and Mathew out there, they make this world alot better place to live in, As for the world you see it at one point, why are terriorist acts even happening? well just put it this way peopel want to speak out, but the world just doesn't let them, so they want the world to regret having nothign to lose.

Ya i agree with Eva the last century was much better, more peaceful, seemed that prehaps the new generations of the last century probally worked together, now the clsoer to the future we are, we forget the word together, just see the word individual, thinkign what we have is enough, beocming lazy, needing action so we spice up things with the wrong indgredients...

prehapos if we invented new things, activbttis oys the world can work together, making this abit better world, but people still seek viloence,, having curiousity thats one thing u cannot chnage it's a shame we are so Curious, any howz that shall be all for today

THANKS TO EvA and Mathew! :)
Chris

Gunboundless/ heavy heart...

today this night I've gotten a hevaier heart.. for some reason.. getting cold too
hmm maybes coz some oen got me worried then i realssied i left many friends in ro... now I dunno no mood to play hmph...

Welll, takign this as a not.. and message to all of u... Christainy is not a religonb it is a dynamic relationship with God! :D

Well then... ain't been posting anything useful lately that Id look back n see is gd, lolz , well it'sncie and early in the mornng and I'm tired as usually :O no suprize!
Yesterday I went to pasar mnalam and got anew cover for my hand phone as well as a groovy new keypad which is actually the original one!!! :).
Talked to Sam yesterday he has a lvl 5somethign hero O_O man I need to to train faster on WBCIII but I ain't been playing much... he's got a trianing map... but he sent me the wrong file lolz... some heavy metal song :S funny!
now brunign a copying a cd into my media player.. seems to be messe dup badly !_!, talked to many people yesterday all me UK friends on my m�����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������

Well then... ain't been posting anything useful lately that Id look back n see is gd, lolz , well it'sncie and early in the mornng and I'm tired as usually :O no suprize!
Yesterday I went to pasar mnalam and got anew cover for my hand phone as well as a groovy new keypad which is actually the original one!!! :).
Talked to Sam yesterday he has a lvl 5somethign hero O_O man I need to to train faster on WBCIII but I ain't been playing much... he's got a trianing map... but he sent me the wrong file lolz... some heavy metal song :S funny!
now brunign a copying a cd into my media player.. seems to be messe dup badly !_!, talked to many people yesterday all me UK friends on my msn list besides phil,
Mathew who is from Ausie land, He stayed up all night just to play a gb game with me !!! what a sportsmanship in gaming! Selphine, sitoze Cuz, Sitoz himself.... :D those 2 ick ass in gunbound!!! Scares me... lolz
a week back i dfound out i wasn't picked for NS YAY, I'll comment that later on this post... ash got picked unfortunately... he never really wanted to get picked.. his diploma is finishing then he should do it... but he has applied for ausie unis and thier acceptance is gonna come late!!!!sighs, mit is worrid that he's gonna come back every different, I'm sure he won't only the person themselves can chnage who is within thierselves right? prehaps they watchwhat they eat, I doubt NS does that, anywayz... it'll be ok, ash can handle it!
oh yea mit seems more cheerfuls now a days with convos with me any wayz, She's cool :) I'm glad shes become more cheerful makes me less worried abt her cutting n all ;) keep it up mit I knwo u can,

NS

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Well then NS, the whole point of NS is for paitorism,... makes so many peopel not want to support Malaysia tho.... they should make it optional if peopel wanna go they should have a choice to sighn up, for those who ddun wanna go let it be... but if they wanna force poeple I tink they should make the whole Malaysia go for it, what use is it if there's a war, and only a few of us are gonna fight... anywayz... I'm sure most peopel know how to handle a gun, buit i doubt after NS any of thier morals are gonna be any higher.... especailly seeing other poeples guns and how leathal it can be, not that every one already knows, sighs NS would be so much better if they spent more of the money in our towns, improving laws enforcing the piracy n all, Well I heard a few poeple have tried to convince the mMalaysian goverment, but never works, oh wellz

BREAKFAST CYA!!!!

Chris sighning off¬!

well Ive felt abit angry lately seems like... religobn being talked abt and having a gurdge against it n trying to uncovert me.. or shall i say convert me into nothing dun seem right.... today i thought what if i didn't have God or Jesus.... For me... I would be some gangster, kill for no n.. werid.. my doiugns are gd.. but my intentions are dark...reason coz it's fun, all i have to post for now busy... chris cya