:) :@ :|

Lol... EMO- icons.. haha.. funny name.. It came across to me, that I have never heard of this word *emo* before.. until last year..

I am not emo Mwahahha! But I do cloud peoples judgements about my feelings, just so you can't pin point my real feelings.. because it's ugly :))..

Bllahhhhhhh The truth is, I want to be more in your life.. and I need to trust others too.. But But!!! if one doesn't trust me, I can't be possible feeling comfortable haha..

I got a sorethroat.. I got to do this and that,... I have to be everywhere I have errands.. I wanted ..

lololololololoololl

If..

Dunno what title.. so I'll just be random..

If I knew, I dunno, I know.. but I can't know.. But why must I know.. Who makes me know, but know and hurt.. seems like somethings up with my emotions at times, and thier accurate, but hold no meaning tilll i find out the meaning then I realise the meaning then I don't feel much better but weirder.. haha this post is totally random!

Haunting ghosts :O

He he.. guess thats how I feel, whats been put into the title, but I'm really glad I have managed to complete some work in the office the relief and happiness was AMAZING!

I've also decided to keep some things at heart, until I have cleared it from my mind.. But I'm really glad I spoke to bro Kelvin, he really uplifted me, and brought me to see another perspective of things, a less selfish one i suppose :).

Feel so much freer now I have finished the task at hand.. hehe Thank God!

""Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished."

I Read this verse the other day, really encouraged me! :)

I wanna give thanks To God who sent great friend to help me, and guided me when there was no one, and comforted me.. and always thank Him for bringing my dear to me, Amen!

::Life has so many unexpectedness::

Crashing

"welcome to the world of slaves"-Ernest

Why's everything crashing down on me, feel life kicking me in the arse so badly.. I dunno what to say..
oh heart of mine.. why is there many spears going through you?
oh heart of mine.. you have been broken so many time.. the crack lines u patched up are becoming more obvious..

I feel like a crab.. stuck in a glass container.. just as I am about to escape.. I am pulled back down..
I wished for so many things.. but I dunno if they will ever come true..

oh Heart of mine...why must you cry? be comforted...
OH HEart of mine.. why do you anger...

I feel 1000 spears on my back.. and one in my heart..
But this is good a brother told me.. but as it sinks deeper.. I feel I am dying..

Oh Heart of mine.. turn to God please.. only He can heal I know..
Oh Heart of mine... please.. don't give up

I saw.. it all crumble before me.. my life, my pride, my love...
I saw it all fall and crash.. my everything.. I only have God left..

Oh Heart of mine.. Cheer God restores
Oh Heart of mine... I can feel you being tortured..

Welcome to the world of slaves.. I was once told..
am I a slave? or a free...

-Chris

Life

I've come to realize what a boring person I am.. I mean I don't like clubbing.. I am somewhat controlling(learning to stop being controlling). I want to go to karaoke.. but never really had a chance to sing english songs with mates.. I used to have this friend in msia hang out a lot.. man.. I miss him so much now i think of it.. sounds so gay.. LOL!

things I like:
God
arcade
adventure
quiet/noisy walk in the part..
Kelz
swimming at times
Badminton (real long time no play)

Things I dislike:
clubbing, not really dislike la.. just, I got no one to go with.. and sometimes 'dancing' with girls might just get out of hand if you know what i mean

2 faced friends...- or shall I say I'll classify them under, enemies multiplying kisses.. they will initially be very good to you, the just pull a slip and try to kill you.. or at least make your life miserable

my heart - recently my heart has felt lots of different emotions and responded! thumping damn hard.. I also dislike certain thoughts of mine..

The Devil.. who doesn't? :P


Recent thoughts:
Suicide,
Suicide... useless,
why's everything falling apart,
who's disrespecting me by...,
I have no life,
life's boring,
computer games become so dull,
I don't like _____ clubbing, Don't control!,
let go..
hurt,
hurt,
hurt..
Thank God..
Should see the big fruits not problems...
work..
pain..
hurt...
sad..
suicide..
Why God doesn't let me go?
Thank God for his faithfulness..


haha waiting for this roller coast to stop! Grrr... eh.. or have i forgto to put my safety harness on! :O

-Chris

Back to work

After my long forced leave.. I am back at work.. haha.. I've just realise there is so much to consider before you implement a project.. and being defined as a "Consultant" I think I need to know all these things...

No.1, How many users are going to be in the system.
No.2, What type of O.S is being used
No.3, What is the DB being used
No.4, How Big is the DB
No.5, What are the minimum specs in accordance to ECC6, OS and the DB.. all needs to be taken into consideration
No.6, What components are actually needed?
and others I can't think of now..

epps maybe network needs to be taken into consideration too!! I think I have lots of reading about planning a system... rather than installing.. Preparation is the first step to sucess!

alright.. a boring post to many.. but maybe william would like this post :P

Good Friday

If I could see the World, in all it's glory,
I would see God in all His works.

What would this world give to God?
They believe nothing of Him at times, but flee to Him in trouble..

Yet the most amazing part of God is,
He never rejects them...

So what about this friday? and what makes it a good one?
who cares in all, why do people go to church? do they hunger for the word?
is there more to life than this? to sit and do nothing but work,
to go out to worthless parties.. and waste life as time goes..

Of course there is! If you know what's so good about this friday.. then you would realise....
That there was one man, one purpose, one reason...
He died today, on which we call Good friday,
and for that very reason it was Good..

Yes this man is Jesus, many may mock and say, haha It's good he died,
His tyranny and blasphemy has no longer no reign,
It was the same in the past as it is in the present,
people still mock, even tho they have saw.

like trying to disprove the existance of wind,
they find erronous reasons, on why it was not true.
Yet as many of us can refute and deny that God exists,
many can say Jesus did exist..

Yet even though so many people mock God..
And sees him nothing but an illusion of the human mind...
He gives grace.. and time for them to repent,
He wants them to turn back to Him.
And His love.. so amazing, that even tho till today we can still mock and spit at Him,
He still holds on and believes, even the worst can turn back to Him.

Who am I to judge?
But I believe God loves this world..
He loves the people..
and I believe, if He could just get everyone of them back to Him He would..
But we are stubborn..
and our hearts harden...

Yet.. He loves us...
Because, He is love...
The end is near, is not for those who do not believe to come to believe..
But is for those who believe, to rejoice, and have an urgency to spread the Good news..

If I could see the world in all it's Glory,
it would be worth nothing, to just turn my eyes upon God,
To realise His love for us,
That, while we were still sinners, murders... adulterers... whilst we still spat in His face.. and mocked Him for who He was... He died for us... Whipped.. tortured.. and forced to take the cross to the mount.. to the point of collapse.. He died.. and when He was risen up... He could still say, "Father Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing"

I have no idea, who would say such a thing, to forgive, those that are killing them..
But I only know Jesus did, and He loved each of them.. to the point of death..
and today, is Good friday, the Day Christ took the world's sin, into His own body...
Just for you.

So all those who do not believe, God still loves you and it's never too late till the end,
For those who believe but are not yet a brother or sister, realise what He did for you, and that you are still loved by Him.
And For those who are family, Remember what He did today, and rejoice! for salvation was given to this lost world..

God bless,
Chris