No feelings anymore

Why can't i feel any warmth in life any more, latley all I have been thinking of is death. It approaches very slowly but it can strike at any one moment in time. My Malay exams are coming up n i can't be bothered revising my freiend thinks it's easy to rush revison on monday
>_< I want to live but i feel like dying... SO odd :S oh wellz... this i chris sighining off

Did I hold on too hard?

I held on to you all this time,
Afraid to let you go,
"no! your not gonna fall!"
you just smiled back at me,
for 10 long years I held your hand,
till one day,
I dunno what,
Was it i held to hard u lost your grip.
Or was it I lost my will n let go...
my attitude changed,
My life changed...
you fell, and I sobbed
Standing at the one posisition u fell,
I stood there for another 4 years wondering if i should come down..
I looked left and I looked right. and there was no one but emptiness,
I climbed in grief,
saddness and sorrow,
every one had flew high above.
And there you were the one I cared for,
Stuck in the bottom of the bottomless pit..
WHY i said to myslef did you let go of me...
At last i saw light and climbed up,
And there you were standing and waiting.
I asked you how?
and you gave me that one smile 14 years ago.
and said," Through all your struggles you made it!,
and through your strength you held me back then.
I fell deep but climbed and climbed,
hoping that I would once see you again,
you gave me will, and strength and through my struggles,
I found a reward...
I got you back"
^^~ a short made up story with some meaning in it made by me Chris, I dunno why i wrote this, maybe coz I feel this every time. but never seize to realise when I let go, There the person I cared about was safe infornt of me tagging along with others.

as Irellavent I have become

I've been wondering how many of your friends out there actually care? ... I knwo it ounds werid but it's a true FACT... I kinda care abt you all... btu all i seem to get is this blockade.. this invisable wall... just becaus eI'm not in GIS anymroe or isit I'm not in taylors... I seem so invisable to you? ... the only person I knwo that still keeps in touch is ash.... BUT what abt every one else ? Calvin I see him in sunway but we dun keep intouch so ... like WHAT?! do you give a damn abt me.. or wouldn't care less if I died?! I dunno.... prehaps I'm just another person who will go through many poeples lives... like a blank transparent guy... who never been in you ife... or maybe I was that ghost that I always have been? any howz... Take care dudes.... lets try to keep in touch ? hmm... every ones chnged... I want to get to see hwo we have all changed... no matte rin ausie to uk to US any where... just atleast... knwo whats goping on.. for my sake or oyurs it's up to you to think BUT u think I am just aother person that helped u for one minor part of your life then throw me away... it's up to you u can throw me in the deepest JUnk yard for all i care... but no matter how deep i am I will come back out n watch over ya...what was i to you...to all thso i knew take care.... As i will take care coz the last words that came out of your mouth to me was.. take care... bye... keep in touch..~~~

lame story/poem by me hha =P da truth...

Lay down in the deepest ocean
lays a body
a body leathal
dead
and undead
the body rots but is reborn,
it awakes in it's dreams,
Cryign helplessly btu stands strong..,
He is your worste nightmare yet your sweetest dream,
your greatest fear and your safest friend,
the one you hate and the one you love..,
the one forever lost and forever found,
what goes up must come down,
but what comes down can only go up,
The body that lies, is deep with in.
yet it is so near you cannot see,
the body is..
it is...
oh my it really is.
ME!

message to mit

You have been a friend to me^^ but never knew that I needed you mroe than u needed me ^^ maybe you want reassurance due to the fact that you do care for us.. It's been a while since i have seen you on9. well take care of yourself, miss ya...

who

am

my

?

I am some one who wants to give up life...
yet some one who wants to live
I am some one that wonders what life woul be with out me...
but then wonder what i have done for people being on this earth
I am lost in a cast of a whirl wind...
yet i am on the calmest shore of the waters
I am some one who doesn't want to be hurt anymore
yet wanting the pain

I am some one who will stop talkign to you now because you dunno what to say

The

Cage has broken!

I dunno, how or why this has happened!, I feel an intesnse strength woith in me, a wikidness, somethign I want to rid of. I will rid of it! but I feels so powerful so resistant... Those whoknow me or are reading this THE END IS NEAR =P end of me, but do not fear as I will fight my way back. I may sound strange or werid to all you poeple listenign out there. I hope I do not hurt anyone, I hope I do not break relationships. Evey one I met is drifting... Drifting too fast. I want to catch them all in a net and bring them back. But they have gone so far in the race of life... I have slowed down.. trying to catch up will come one help me? But i know some one will. There is some one who will carry me through this race when i am tired... He carries all the amour that was put on to me, and he runs as fast as every one in the race ^^ he want;s me to be free... his name is Jesus. I knwo he is here with me. I pray hard every night that he helps all the poor helps all you gentiles to some to him... I don't want to lose you guys, I wanna see you in heaven. I want you to be with me forever more^^.

Will you come with me? I knwo that you have your own ways and I cannot change that thought nor can I convert you. I have no power to do either one. it's all between you and God. He gave you a choice, you took to turn away? but he isalways welcoming back those who turned away. He is liek a sheperd, if there was one missing out of a 100, he would leave that 100 just to find that one sheep. Those who think it'd be too late it isn't. those who think I sinned so much he will not accept me back. He will Jesus died for us. He was there =( I'm sorry that I seem that I am preachign but I really dunw ant to lose you all. There was once a farther, that had 2 sons. These sons worked for the farther, then after one son got rich and decided to leave home. But the other stayed at home. The son with all the riches spent got drunk went to parties every night. But one day hewoke up with nothing. Lost and not knowing what to do he decied to work for some one. But then he relised he once had a home, and a farther in that home. before returning home he practised his speech so that the farther will accept him back.

what do you think the farther did?
He returned home, andtold the farther ," please accept me back, I knwo i did wrong I will work every day for you, free labour, I did wrong and am disgrace... I do not blame you if you do not take me back.
I'll let you think of what the farther said... I will finish this post next week

Head ace, lifes tough, today I didn't finish my C++ work and i handed it up there does 5 marks :( DOOM! haha nvm networking on friday o welll

Losing this war... or time... winning in a sense of losing...
Tryign to keep the beast in cages. But prehaps I cannot. tiem flies so fast and i cannot catch it... prehaps the beast can... but is he really auch a gd choice... no friends would liek to meet him. n I dun wan my friends to meet him...THE END