Friday, November 26, 2004

Darkness+light~


Ii was walking down the street. and I saw this light. I t wa shining so bright, I couldnt resist being drawn to it. as i gazed into it, my flesh started to melt~but i put my mind together overcoming this obscene change... as I thought tomyself more and more wiht my mind, this light seemed to dimmer. untill total darkness, I was scared... I saw nothign but black, Was i blind? I needed help... I was lost, like a sheep that has not sheperd running off into the wild. then my feet started to glow and my path became clear. I had 2 choices, left or right. Right seemed to be a old, brokenen misty door with cracks on its bridge. But left seemed welcoming wiht big golden gates, I sauid to myself righ it is, as i entered. I saw many trees trees that could move and talk to you, some thing was wrgon. They said they have been cursed btu its fine now coz they can be free in this forest. It was kinda freaky, coz I never seen moviung trees that dont have legs.as i walked deeper it seemed the trees became normal. What is that i see in the far, a house! wohoo finally some time to rest. *opens the door* in this house was no more than spiders and cob webs, with alot of dust every where. bleh I said to myself at least its a decent place to sleep. decided to settle in and WOAH a vampire appears... luckly he was not hungrybut just abit moody. so i decided to leave....carrying on my journey. I found a companion, she was shorter than i, but seemed kind in the heart, her feet glowed too and her amour was gleaming. I asked where did she buy it from, and she just answered it was gifted from the same person who lights your path.Baffled I was I carried on with this girl. Darkness eventually overcomed me and her. but our light was so powerful we could find our path. Eventually she seemed so beautiful to me, I feel in love and held her hands. She brought me to this strange building with what seems to be a t on top. I wondered what does this t represent. and eventually she got me going over and over again and a sudden change I have amour like hers, shield liek hers even a sword... I kissed her wiht compasion and she said ^_^ stupid satan. Dont listen to him, this building you have been comign to is a Church, God's been looking over you and over us, and now he has found you liek the lost sheep you were. I felt joy+peace.Thanked God and thanked her. she pulled me through through God's will. her name you ask... well you'll have to guess

end


dinenr time bb to all

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Somthings wrong


I cant help to feel but theres soemthign wrong.. seems I feel liek I abused soem privacy... sighs.. Ive been coughing like mad but cant stand the fact that I am asting a blood liek taste... seems like I am disabled.. thigns are gettign werid... I cant help ppl I pray and pray, I guess thats all I can do... money is such a sad thign in this wolrd... one day I'll be indepedant but it aint gonna be lall lovely n everythign... sighs... I dunno hwo to explain my mood now coz somehtigns are hidden away form me... *bzzp* end of transmission

Friday, November 12, 2004

The Skyz.. the stars, the moon.. and the darkness


The skyz....

Clear as can be at first sight th beauty seems immense, light gleamers through, small white cotton clouds, nice blue sky liek the ocean is in the sky... untill a storm appears covers the skyz with darkness, and light at the same time, rain pour outforth.. like endless tears, from the sky... the hurt and the heart break... nto knowing what was right.. just pours out all the sorrow on all the houses and all over the world, but all ppl see are droplets of water, *splash... every droplet is 1 heart break this world has received... it gathers so much in the sky it becomes dark, and can no longer hold it...

The Stars

Glimers in the sky at night, liek a diamond in the sky... you can look and stare at the beauty it contains, but one thign you can't do it reach for it, forever it stays in the sky above, as if a curse it remains beautiful, but never able to come down and find a love... forming pictures to show sighns, but things just look at it, and sees no message... Stars come from suns form other solar systems which has bursted out, like a heart which has been shot... blown into many gliters, each star represents a gd time from when they were onc together..

The Darkness

Hidden as if it were a shadow... Dark with no light... no way to go, makes one lost, but really it tries to hug the lost, to give confiedence, but we shiver more... and more.. untill we break out and scream.. scared that life is far we run and run... hoping to find light, but the darkness is holding you so tight, that it feels so sorry for you... but you'll never know.. so light appears and darkness if pushed away... Darkness just wants a hug, but instead it gets a push... So, close. Yet so far...

The moon

stuck up so high next to the stars, but still not close enough to touch... the moon is covered wiht darkness, and shone upon by the sun, reflecting light throught the darkness, as darkness approaches, it hugs the moon and the moon is happy so it glimers in the sky, with the mixture of darkness and light it, shines on a person, so darkness can once, hold them again... and this time dartkness can feel more comfortable as the person feels cosey and gives a great =)... yet, what the moon wants to do its to reach the sun... yet the sun is to far, and the earth keeps him prisoner... as stars which he'll nbever touch be his best friends, and darkness he'll stay in as a companion for life...

Me

I am liek the darkness, so close yet so far.. I am liek the stars which try to find love... I am like the sky looking so bright but sad inside... but what I am not is the moon that is aside... but the moon is more like Jesus, the one that brings light, the pone that helps us all feel alot better and comfy... the Sun and the moon are really together, but they work to gether to make us better... So, to me I feel sad but the moon tries to help..I am greatfull with peace by my side...


this was written all by Christopher Tan, not copy righted so steal it if you want...I'm just a lil troubled thats all...


Monday, November 08, 2004

The very essence..


how many of you find it so, erm... I dunno hwo to explain the feeling... when you want to help but you cant help feeling... so annoying.. the very essence of it disables you and makes you feel so... weak, so pathetic... so useless. not fo rme to say, but I dont know...I feel so angry at myself that I couldnt help, and I feel so useless... mainly coz I dunno if what i say is the right thing to say, and I dont want to hurt that person.... argh everythign is so confusing... great.. going to college confused and i have math in the afternoon, heh ARGHHH!!!! I FEEL SO PATHETIC SO SMALL, aekfgkehlfewukigfkdgewkugfgdhasgfukshfiwehfoigweufgdsa somehting to flood abt here... bleh why am i hurting inside, ah well I'm used to it, kinda become an habbit i guess.. one day I'll die form a heart atk coz I'm so stressed up there... I'm serious lol, unelss I find a way to destress... bleh dont care, I'm just a useless peice of.... yea, you care abt me... but how come I dun... I feel liek I can be thrown away in the dust bin! XD oh well time to destresss one mroe time £"%$£^YEHOqrgiptfhesik@tGFwtehgirhsftAGEWUR^ypeyhDUWRFTGJ HGDSLKFHEWULI YFKUELAGFIKG HESKJFHGEWLSJG GFT OK

DONE!

Tuesday, November 02, 2004


Which Night Elf Hero Are You?

http://members.lycos.co.uk/powersugoi/quiz/nightelf/kotg.gif">%20/>%20Which%20Night%20Elf%20Hero%20Are%20You?


I CRIED I DUN BELIVE THIS!

Monday, November 01, 2004

OH MY GOODNESS I DUN BELIVE I CRIED :@

what is life really?


Soem times I wonder, what is life, we die... we live.. life goes on. I wonder, why cant we live in the past and we must live now? isnt the past what makes you who you are today, I guess its coz of all the depth of cutting edge of evilness in it.... , The fact is, I'm not focusing on that point... it's just WHEN ever I try to help some one... things just dont want me to help, for exsample... a friend is in need, on msn or the phone say... they are havign a hard time, and feelign very uneasy. Then, do you knwo what my phone or net will do, it'll cut off... it's liek they dpont want me to help... I guess its for the best. I just wanna help so bad... But things just push me away. I HATE IT. just i wanna help, sigh... I feel so useless.. so small... so pathetic... say at this present moement Iw as to disapear fromt he net and my phone was not being picked up from any one... would any one notice anythign.. probally think ah well... he was a gd person.. gd friend balbalbal. guess he didnt wanna come on any more. but the real fact was I was dead? ppl dont take these things in to consider.. so i dont blame them... to extereme... and I dont think they should think about i.. coz if I died, I think npo one would care but my famliy only coz I was the only boy in my family... I try, i do... I wanna suceed, strive for greatness.. but doesnt thigns just bash you down... liek the church says, if you dont get rid of your flaws nwo... satan will let u go on wiht life... when u hit your greaess moement he'll destroy you, sigh... ah wells, I'm pretty sure my amour is fastened on me... bleh I mean jeng cares... btu she has a life now.. wait she always had a life. would Sam care.. I doubt it. Oh well who killed Chris, he died on himself oh ok, what an idiot.... mit, ah wells prehaps she would... yea, but wait... she wants to hack ppl down so I'm guessing nope coz I'm sure she would have been happy to hack me down i guess... Eva... she wouldnt know... she'd just think I'm still roiung.. mat bleh in ausienland wouldnt knwo either... same goes with duy. all my uk friends would know.. Ash... he wouldnt know.. he never calls I never call... Crys... well I guess she would. I guyess I i would live coz of her... well... just a friend I just go tthat message through the phone from her... she dun wanna be close friends... but just friends, I guess I'm cool with that... (Spider:what are you kidding your self?) (Chris: nope not at all.. I'm cool wiht it man, you should piss of, I dun wanna hear form you again...sigh)(spider... fine you go sulk SULK UNTILL YOU DIE see what happens, not even I will care yea your right I won't nor will this world SO GO DIE!)

Sighs... maybe spider is right? maybe I should.... but its something very stupid to do... ytet it's somehting very inviting...see, just now when Crys called... I couldn't help her... I feel bad... I will take a bullet for all of my friends... and most of all... I will , and i hope.. that when God sees any one kill another.. i guess... I hope... I really do, that he'll forgive you.

*sighs Spider you still there?... are you? hello? sigh... alone once more.... I need to chat to ash, clsoe friend of mine... I feel so troubled. but I dont wanna toruble him... ARGH hope he's assed his liscence... hope he's enjoyign life, hope he's not sucidal I soudn liek a bloody hypocrit... Ash you a close friend to me ya?... reason i called you almost every night in school days buddy... well I doubt he'll be reading this... heck I doubt any one would. (spider:I'm here i read it... are you ok man... I'm sorry abt earlier...)(Chris:what to do.... I feel so lost, as if i lost a friend...)(Spider: seems you have... one that you thoguht would be close... but u just lost it huh? I know its bad, but cheer up plenty of fishes in the sea...)(Chris: yea I'm glad... I was cut, I'm glad... but I hate having scars in ma heart...)(Spider:dude.. is that all you ever thinka bout.... yea.. I knwo every time you heal the scars get deeper! ya ya balbalbla... doesnt mean you should cry over it)(Chris:... what do you mean cry? I never cried over it)(Spider: coime on man I'm in you I can hear the bloody cries STOP CRYING... it's starting to piss me off...)(Chris: wait.. which part of my body do u live in...)(Spider: your heart...)(Chris:oh...)
(Chris: thanks Spider.. I really need to thank you for being beside me...)(Spider: no [probs thanks man for putting me into games... I mean in Counter strike haha XD I have learned to frag so many... epps sorry man I lost my concentration.. i forgot you were down Really I am)(Chris: naw it's alright... =) I was playign with you we kick ass!)(Spider: heh yea man... dude, Don't do any thing stupid... I'll make sure you dont I'll make your hand punh you unconsience before u kill youself...)(Chris: woah thats harsh... but i guess you are in my heart.. so you must be like my caringness...uh oh well best stop b4 we freak every one out...)(Spider: Roger that!!)


Well some times I think it's nice to talk to myself, regardless of what you think I bet you many ppl who hold alot of problems do this as well.. maybe, I'm justr geussing..

what is life really?


Soem times I wonder, what is life, we die... we live.. life goes on. I wonder, why cant we live in the past and we must live now? isnt the past what makes you who you are today, I guess its coz of all the depth of cutting edge of evilness in it.... , The fact is, I'm not focusing on that point... it's just WHEN ever I try to help some one... things just dont want me to help, for exsample... a friend is in need, on msn or the phone say... they are havign a hard time, and feelign very uneasy. Then, do you knwo what my phone or net will do, it'll cut off... it's liek they dpont want me to help... I guess its for the best. I just wanna help so bad... But things just push me away. I HATE IT. just i wanna help, sigh... I feel so useless.. so small... so pathetic... say at this present moement Iw as to disapear fromt he net and my phone was not being picked up from any one... would any one notice anythign.. probally think ah well... he was a gd person.. gd friend balbalbal. guess he didnt wanna come on any more. but the real fact was I was dead? ppl dont take these things in to consider.. so i dont blame them... to extereme... and I dont think they should think about i.. coz if I died, I think npo one would care but my famliy only coz I was the only boy in my family... I try, i do... I wanna suceed, strive for greatness.. but doesnt thigns just bash you down... liek the church says, if you dont get rid of your flaws nwo... satan will let u go on wiht life... when u hit your greaess moement he'll destroy you, sigh... ah wells, I'm pretty sure my amour is fastened on me... bleh I mean jeng cares... btu she has a life now.. wait she always had a life. would Sam care.. I doubt it. Oh well who killed Chris, he died on himself oh ok, what an idiot.... mit, ah wells prehaps she would... yea, but wait... she wants to hack ppl down so I'm guessing nope coz I'm sure she would have been happy to hack me down i guess... Eva... she wouldnt know... she'd just think I'm still roiung.. mat bleh in ausienland wouldnt knwo either... same goes with duy. all my uk friends would know.. Ash... he wouldnt know.. he never calls I never call... Crys... well I guess she would. I guyess I i would live coz of her... well... just a friend I just go tthat message through the phone from her... she dun wanna be close friends... but just friends, I guess I'm cool with that... (Spider:what are you kidding your self?) (Chris: nope not at all.. I'm cool wiht it man, you should piss of, I dun wanna hear form you again...sigh)(spider... fine you go sulk SULK UNTILL YOU DIE see what happens, not even I will care yea your right I won't nor will this world SO GO DIE!)

Sighs... maybe spider is right? maybe I should.... but its something very stupid to do... ytet it's somehting very inviting...see, just now when Crys called... I couldn't help her... I feel bad... I will take a bullet for all of my friends... and most of all... I will , and i hope.. that when God sees any one kill another.. i guess... I hope... I really do, that he'll forgive you.

*sighs Spider you still there?... are you? hello? sigh... alone once more.... I need to chat to ash, clsoe friend of mine... I feel so troubled. but I dont wanna toruble him... ARGH hope he's assed his liscence... hope he's enjoyign life, hope he's not sucidal I soudn liek a bloody hypocrit... Ash you a close friend to me ya?... reason i called you almost every night in school days buddy... well I doubt he'll be reading this... heck I doubt any one would. (spider:I'm here i read it... are you ok man... I'm sorry abt earlier...)(Chris:what to do.... I feel so lost, as if i lost a friend...)(Spider: seems you have... one that you thoguht would be close... but u just lost it huh? I know its bad, but cheer up plenty of fishes in the sea...)(Chris: yea I'm glad... I was cut, I'm glad... but I hate having scars in ma heart...)(Spider:dude.. is that all you ever thinka bout.... yea.. I knwo every time you heal the scars get deeper! ya ya balbalbla... doesnt mean you should cry over it)(Chris:... what do you mean cry? I never cried over it)(Spider: coime on man I'm in you I can hear the bloody cries STOP CRYING... it's starting to piss me off...)(Chris: wait.. which part of my body do u live in...)(Spider: your heart...)(Chris:oh...)
(Chris: thanks Spider.. I really need to thank you for being beside me...)(Spider: no [probs thanks man for putting me into games... I mean in Counter strike haha XD I have learned to frag so many... epps sorry man I lost my concentration.. i forgot you were down Really I am)(Chris: naw it's alright... =) I was playign with you we kick ass!)(Spider: heh yea man... dude, Don't do any thing stupid... I'll make sure you dont I'll make your hand punh you unconsience before u kill youself...)(Chris: woah thats harsh... but i guess you are in my heart.. so you must be like my caringness...uh oh well best stop b4 we freak every one out...)(Spider: Roger that!!)


Well some times I think it's nice to talk to myself, regardless of what you think I bet you many ppl who hold alot of problems do this as well.. maybe, I'm justr geussing..