the worlds getting togher

Well liek i said the worlds just getting tougher~ not int the sense of struggle but in the sense of making decisions. Snatch!! man wish i had that skill :P, but unfortuantely I'm not tha evil... I prefeer ppl giving willingly then to give unwillignly. Flaw of me i guess, too truthfull lol. Decsisions~ take it or leave it.. go in and try or back off... Tell me people if you really really wanted somethign what will you do? yet that somethign you want, is soemthign that some one already has. in my mind I say yes... things are better this way, This is how its ment to be, prehaps if u wait paitenly you'll get the thing that the other person already has. But another part of me is like saying Snatch.. win it over... you know, soem times I hate it when that happens, but i just liek to see people happy. another flaw? dunno... I want ppl to smile. Enjoy life, without burdern, what am i doin' putting burden on one of my close friends.... I just want it sso bad, I guess my consience will keep me at bay. I love that thing... I adore it, btu i cant have it, and thats a fact... maybe waiting will, but I mean if this is God's will what am i to say =) I could rebel, or mayeb its not his will. yet I just want that person to be happy... talkign in very coded langauge Coz you cant buy that 'thing' T.T , ah wells what can i do~ ooies thats all for tonight, a lil' less conversation and a lil' more action~ lol hmm lets steal some words from the lirics~
Namida tomaranaiKonnan ja Kimi no kotoShirazuni ireba Yokatta yo
lalala CHris~

it's a question of oui? au non~

(oui=yes au=or non= no)

Days can get crappier the mroe i think abt it the more i feel like running.. escaping. Yet I have no idead whats wrogn with me... as uc an see yesterday i kinda freaked out somehtign was sseriously wrong then...crys Got txt messages spammed by her bf=/ was that it? then Mat hears crunching outdoors.... Days are getting werider...

Prehaps its just me i mean, what more can u expect from some one that has actually prayed for a person so they have a life partner... yes i actually did that. but every time i tried it seemed so... like... they just disapear. it's all puppy love then.. Eva taught me love is somethign that isnt what it seems. thus what i feel abt love before isnt what it really is? oui? prehaps its lonliness.... I dunno. today my own self started to talk to me, somethign that rarely happens coz i usually start the topic then chat to myself. was like... this is wrong... I'm worried... prehaps your just a message man? from God? showimg some one they have whats specail.... but maybe your there for the specail person. Its confusing... but i get it. Like i have always said~ any thing i get close to fades away... I dunno why I hold too tight, bleh I dont wanna repeat my blog.

well I was starved today in college got home... my grand mah has cooked food, for some werid reason I have absoletly no appitite wohoo~ Weight loss program lol! ah well, this weeks gotta be the most confusing week of my life. Any wayz exams coming neaer, need to focus but what did my teach say today? DONT STUDY VB its hopeless I totally agree! lol. So my main focus is math and System analysis.

I know my blog title seems seemingless, no value to it right? nothign seems right. ah well... its reffeeerign to some one i know, and I dunno if going for her is the right thing or not, everythign in me says Do it, whats there to lose, and I know u like her that much u'd fly across the world, yet another part of me says... what if~ ect... ah wells so. the Qeustion is oui au non? I choose oui, but what will she choose?

Confused.. feelign strange somethigns wrong...

I dunno whats wrong with me... not a heart atk thos my heart does feel heavy... I'm confused beyond my own limits.... somethign has happened.. btu id unno what... its somethign bad, been havign a couple of bad dreams lately... maybe they were sighns... I dunno whats wrong... I heard a scream earlier.. was it that? ARGH some one help me... this is very very painful...

I'm tellign u all.. somethign wrong... isit me? am i trying too hard on somethign or not hard enough... is soem one tellign me somthing... just answer me !!!!!! please... I'm breaking down... I dunno whats wrogn... just speak to me... coem on.. have i done somethign wrong.. did i make some one hate me... have i done somethign too poorly? can u teach me to be better? help me control my temper.. I dunno MPSL I feel so unweary.. i feel soemthign very bad is happenign or has happened or is goign to happen! this is werid and wrong... help...

The chaotic day~

My day today has been the worste.. in fact my week would ahve been the worste if it wasnt for a person i knew...lets see where to start... form the morning... I went to college just to help out on a club thing that helps all the newbs enter our college.. turns out... it was cancelled teach was on EMC(emergency Medical leave) Argh.. had to wait 2 hrs till class....then... my eyes became weary in math It was itchy like mad... but the worste part was at 12 o clock or around there wher ei found my mobile DEAD when i say dead not workign... cant even charge right now... and to top up dessert for the whole day my dad arrives late in picking me up... and I get a head ace... sighs... seems I have no contact to the outside world but through this lil com... and if this is gone... I'd be dead X-)--<---<(R.I.P)

well i got nothing much to say but sigh... nothing
Chris

L!f3'5 5l_l(l-l 4 m'/57R'/

yea it is :P tough luck to those that cant read my title! mwhahaha, right then lots of things happened today~ literally I'd say alot is nothing wohoo~ new record! I Felt so tired for no reason~ woke up all energtic.. then got in the car to college after a nice shower... and started to fall asleep... then Got to college waited outside for a club meeting and still feelign sleepy got in and managed to wake up... then got back in the car AND FELL ASLEEP AGAIN now how lame is that lol!. In my club meeting thier forcing me to go tmmr for 9 30 class tho its ment to be 10 30... oh well Do some powerpoitn things for the nOObs~ entering our college this November... means no revision for me then pif~ bleh I'll revise... right then I got home, and it seems I did somethign... which i cant rememebr hahahahha lame~ i think i ate some fruit=/ cant remember lol

right.... then i went to do my math OH MY I cant do anythign... gosh need to ask my Friend tmmrz for help... seriously need one sheet of paper with lots of exsamples so i can refeer when I'm doing brand new questions that should get me a pass*As well as praying to God should help, =) destress me... So I found out crys likes the planet shakers... FORCING ME to take her next time they come... wow i didnt know they were that famous DID YOU o.O. Righto~ I dunno what elese to post but~ keep it cool dudes~ and make sure that u keep alert and not liek me >falling asleep every darn second lol !

CHris ~ SighNing OfF~ wEEhOOO(=.=; hyper dude... wonder why he's so excited *rolls eyes)

Q:Does age matter?

When i was younger not that much younger than today ~Damn wish the song never stole that line, lol any wayz~ So, like does age really matter? and in what context... Well, to many age~ determines your age groups 13-17 18 ~27 oro soemthign liek that yea~ well For friends I reakon age is no gap too wide I mean I could be fiends with a 60 yr old and I really wouldnt mind =) they have alot of experience and they really do help out alot^^ I have friends that are 9 I dont complain abt them~ play along have fun~ bring da child outta yourself heh.

But then theres another Question~ Does age matter in a relationship o.O~ to me I didnt really know... coz Many have told me age gaps in relationships do matter~ya traditional guys usually olderall the mumbo jumbo~ My cuz did date some one older, but they have broke up... I thgink it was a 5 yr different btw he's a guy. and every one was like blablabla yippdi do da talking crap abt him. But i mean do they really need to? I reakon whats in the mind and the heart that probally matters~ tho I do still have that feelign of age~ think... my age limit is +and - 4. yea i do have a age limit... but i mean I'm sure many do... if it exceeds it means I must really love the person to the hiehgt extent that i cant let go.~ but that doesnt mean if its in my age gap I sstill dont have the same feeling. At first i thought hmm seems there is a problem with older.. they look down on you then they u knwo think your a kid n all =.=*stares at eva~ lalala~ but then some one prove dme wrong~ innit just a werid concept now ahha ~over all age dun matter~ what counts is whats inside~ tho THERE are boundaries~

hey what do YOU guys think?

This is Moi sighnign off~

Innocence. A true angel. Probaly a younger one. Not
yet shown the real way of this planet. Let me
give you some advice, stay that way, for as
long as you can. The pure make it.

,<*^Which%20Anime%20Angel%20Are%20You^*>,<*^/">^*>,<*^Which Anime Angel Are You^*>,<*^
brought to you by

WEEe..Waited..so long @@

lol Actually the title reffers to ro~and me waiting for some one, :P Name starts with a C ends with a n. Right then somehtign to post, Ive been drowsy all week argh i cant stand it any longer... still drowsy now wEEEee~ right then~ Been a gd day so far i watched the new police storay XD was quite gd, if the vcd didnt screw up the sound of thier voices=.=; my dad got pissed at me for not going out qwith him to eat, I said I'm full and he's liek ah your full might as well still come out,sounds as if hes like saying come out watch us eat :D plus I'm sick~ Iw anna recover @@. Right then FRIDAY SUBMITTED MY ASSIEGHMENT *jumps with joy* yay hoep id dint screw up to bad >.> presentation on monday need ot be ALERt not blur come on! lol so... what else. I cant remember much but blurness slow responses and not knowing whats happening in class, felt so pressurised @@ btu then again i felt so tired.. DAMN MEDICINE ACTIFECT well i thgink thsat the right way of sepelling it @@ ... Crys a new friend of mine Shes soo cool :P wait... or is she liek a clone of me, just the Gal versiono.O so many properties are so filmiliar~ wee~~~~~ right enough abt that :P at least mat got his hair fixed Lemon juice.. Iw as gonna say vinager but u know, Just incase anythign happened I dun wanna hold responsiblities:P soo let the science expert eva do all the thinking whiles I sit n relax haha :P alright then I'll sighn off before i bord u alll ;)

Old fimliar feeling

that feelign of depression has come back... Damn it I cant stand it... the calling of confort Help me Help me... calling of attention, Am i too small for you to notice me?... the callign of greif, sighs~ no one cares any more, all alone in this world again. Well depression strikes at wrong times, anger stirs when i dont want it to, but at least i can control it... I hate to annoy ppl when I'm trying to tell them something but they just cant see that I want them to notice.... but hey thats life. a whoel bumnch of blur ppl livign in ablur world havign thier blur lives.... whiles a few linger into the arkness seekign confort, and loove... I have confort... but i dunno whats wrong .... prehaps I'm askign it from some one... some one specail i knwo i dunno any more... I dunno. seems as if the world is spinnign faster days are flyign and I'm drifting from friends need to pull back but too many friends... sighs... Ohw ells~ another darn depressing peice of *beep* for u enjoy but never diaganose yourself with it liek i did.... keeps u there a while calls u back over and OVEr again... Caged... within.. the beats lays~
Chris sighning off~

The terror of Assieghments

Well the wednesday that has just gone past was my system anaylsis asseighment due date wohoo we finiased it thansk to my dear friend Wilson~ 2 of us for one project whiles every one else had 3 minimum coz one of the guys Got transfeered fcoz he 'pontengs'(skips) claass too much. ah well Visual basic next~failed my match co z i did somethign so stupid i put 800- 200 after workign out equations. then I said 800-200= 400! wohoo that screwed up the rest of my qeustion and the teach wouldnt even give me marks for euations T.T So upset oh well the moderaters might be more erm.... Kind. i hope make it 50% for me :D Rightio then

Since every ones been posting I think it's my turn mwhahaa. Maid never got fired... every oens taunting me about it @_@ EVIL People =.=; Jengs got some troubles in her life... doesnt want to tell me. I just ghope sitoze can get it out of her. but hey... he has exams. any howwz I played gb yesterday with jei, or eva as u guys call her wait u call her eve:P and sai lo... which is mat :D damn pros... lost to a noob liek me! mwhahahha then i lost 100x's more >.> *no comment. My life is ok at the moe so no depressing stuff... but preahaps.. i guess... I@@M FRIGGING ILL!!!!!!!!!!! DUE to that frog... grrr~ (frog= my class mate) passing illness to all of us including cow~ Cows get ill @@ lol. (cow another class mate). Righto I need to poop but its refiusing to come out *gets fustrated* opps shouldnt type thatr but hey somehtign to disturb u guys wiht :D

Right then i feel dead.. been playign ro for a long time, no one ever posts here any mroe.. so like no one to chat to, i said mat changed yesterday.. but i didnt mean it for the worste .. he seems more mature =) Proud of him... I guess thats the real him =D well Were all kids~ aparyt from eva and Cal.. and Cryst.. and~ ok I was wrong but hey somethign to say lol. Alright... u guys arnt luaghing are u? still thinking abt the toilet? Great! mwhahaha that means mission completed ur offcially disturbed coz ur thinkign toilet :D

Chris sighning off~

hmmm..

hmm lets try writing a song :)
"Have you ever felt like you have been, left in the darkness... have you ever felt liek you have sliped... and triped into the bottomless pit... Or have yoou ever fallen during this lifes~s run~~.
Seeing every one infront, running ahead-a-aed..."
" Well I just wanna tell you friend, that your not alone, but I'm telling you now, that I want you~~ to carry on~~ I wanna Hold out my hand to you, pull you out of the bottomlesspit, help u run the race u fell in, Help show you that there's still light!, But then you, push. me. away! .you push. me. away! Alll i wanted is for you to see that lifes nto that bad, all i wanted to is show you that life aint that bad... afteralll"
"every one one has thier up and downs. but why do we focus more on the doooo ooown... why dont we just look up into the bright ight side. Every thign you see is pain, and its hurting you even more, all I want you to do, Is come with me. I want to show you, that life aint that bad, life aint thattt bad."
"Come Give me your hand, I'll show you, that every thing can be done well, you have great abbilities,THis Lifeeeee iiifffeeee, aint worthhhh crying overrr this liifffee ifffeee Aint worth Crying over!open oup your eyes, see that I'm here, Ive been waiting for you to give me your hand, now here's your shield fend off all the negative... now here's your trainers, run the race like you mean it, I'm here, I'll run wiht you, We'll help others, liek you.... COME AND RUN, THIS RACE WITH MEEEEEE COEM AND RUN IT LETS HELP OTHERS RUN, LETS MAKE THIS INTO, a MARATHON!We can make the diffference.... we can make the diffference..."

Well thats that, eh trying to get soem positive outta of u guys, loniness, is liek a society of lonely poele, all you have to do is go into the club and join th other lonley poeple! Ironic isint it? ;) every one int hsi world has felt liek you in one way or another, but why can they get out of it, and why do u see it as bad, and try your hardest to make it worste? whiels u can be just liek others. WELL I'm not like others u say, but you can learn :)


Chris~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mich was back the other day made me so happy^^ ^^ ^^been waiting sooo long :D shes back! wohoo! well going back at monday haha! oh well cyaz people.