Chapter 5

Recovery

So, now at the age of 18... Few months after my beloved had died, I went back to Asia to finish my studies. Constantly keeping in touch with Lucia's Little sister, Jane. As I was going through my degree, I was starting to go down hill... Every night I would have a dream constantly bombarding me, of how she was raped.. How they killed Fred. I almost failed my whole semester that year. Until lecturers started to realize, and decided to get a consultant in for me. They slowly advised me to go see the consultant every break I had, though I found it annoying, I guessed it was for my best.

The consultant would often start off like, 'How are you?' ,' have you been practicing the steps I been teaching you?', ' Still having those dreams?', ect. My consultant's name was Matthew. Amazingly enough he was actually the same age as me.as the end of my semester came, he advised me not to take the exams until I was totally recovered. Without even coming to tell me he wrote a letter to my department telling me that I should take the rest of this semester off and start fresh the next Sem. The next day when I found out what he had done, I was furious, storming into his office I screame dout ' WHAT THE HECK MAN?, HOW CAN YOU STOP ME FROM DOING THE REST OF MY SEMESTER, YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME, WHY?! GIVE ME A GOOD REASON!!!',
relax Spire... Chill, It's not the end of the world.. It's for your best'
'MY BEST?, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME?! HAVE YOU LOST SOME ONE YOU LOVED SO DEARLY BEFORE?!, YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW I FEEL!'
'oh, .. SO YOU THINK IT'S EASY TO BE A CONSULTANT?!, I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM AT ME?, YOU THINK I AIN'T LOST SOME ONE THAT IS DEAR TO ME?, WELL YOUR VERY WRONG..' right at that moment, he sat back down, and looked down. As he calmed down, he said in a low pitch, 'yes, I have.. I lost my parents... They died after a robbery when I was in school, I still don't believe it... They not only had to take all our things, but they had to take my parents too... It wasn't easy for me too you know. That's when I decided to become a Consultant. I wanted to help others that were like me, to recover... I'm sorry Spire, perhaps what I did was stupid.. If you want I'll write a letter saying you can continue.'
At that very moment, I felt sorry for him. I paused and looked down. 'I'm sorry Mat, I didn't know... Well it's ok.. I guess if it's for my best I'll go through with it. I'm sorry to hear about your parents.. Your forgiven', as I looked up and smiled I said, ' let's go out for a drink some time, I want to know you better instead of always seeing you as a consultant.'
He Laughed saying 'Yea sure, why not. Better than me seeing you always as a client.'
We both bursted out laughing, after that we talked a little and I went home.

That night my phone rang, it was Jane, she sounded happy and excited.
'GUESS WHAT?!'
'What?'
'Kor!!!!, I said Guess'
'haha, alright.. You scored all A's in your Exam?'
'err.. no haha, I wish'
'what? You wish?!, you can do it I know you can, your a smart girl'
'haha thanks kor. I wanted to tell you that I meet this sweet guy today, he was soo nice to me.he asked me out... But I don't know what to say.'
'Say your not interested', I teased
'Kor!!! this is serious man. You really think I should?'
'Naw of course not dearies, do what your heart tells you to.'
'ah alright, cool. Thanks Kor your da best!'
'of course, jk jk'
'hehe, so when are you going to come back?'
'Maybe Next year summer or something'
'ah cool'
Hours later the conversation ended, and on that very night I had the best sleep ever. I instead of getting terrible images, they were sweet nice images, of the good times I had with Lucia.

The next day I woke up smiling.I was so happy that I couldn't stop smiling through out the day. As I went to my usual consultant hour Matthew gave me a curious look, I was like what??.
He replied, 'Your rather jolly today'
'Haha Yea man, I haven't had a good sleep like yesterday for ages.'
oh, got some good news I take it?'
'Nah man, Good news don't come often now a days. I guess it's thanks to you, that I know that I am not alone any more. That I was never alone and that I have to cherish every good moment I had with her'
'Yea man thats the way, I think next Sem you will pass with flying colours!!, keep up this attitude and you would probally catch up to your previous buddies'
We laughed, and continued witht he consultation, but it wasn't like any other consultation I had been to, It was more like a time of sharing, and the thing that touched us most was when I talked about Lucia saying at least in heaven there will be no pain, or hurt no tears. Then out of absolutely no where I asked him, if he would want to come to church, he was reluctant at first as he lost faith in God long ago when his parents died. But then he decided he would try it out.

So every Sunday we made it a habit to wake up in the morning and go to church, eventually our faith started to grow, as we found out what Jesus did for us and all. Not only that, but because we knew that some one up there cared for us dearly as well as those we loved are up there looking down at us. We started to participate more in church and became very active Christians. As the Semester ended, we were a bit sad, coz I had to go back to studying. But We said to each other that we will still make the effort to go out to church on Sundays, and hang out the whole day after church. I kept on telling my lil sis(pet sis, Jane) about what Christ had done and she started to listen and grew in faith, yet she never had the time to know him personally, she always told me she had no time and that every time she wanted to go to church she becomes lazy and thinks it's boring, or something comes up. I kept on encouraging her to go, then I made a Vow that I would take her to church when I got back to UK. She accepted my vow and wa slooking forward to it. I too am hoping that I was able to go back and tell her about what Christ done for me while sI was in Asia, and how it's mor elike a relationship, rather than a religion, ect...

('don't be afraid to love again, Don't lose faith.').