The Last Letter(or so we thought)

As I hold up a blade, I see it shine and reflect the very image of myself, Thus I decided to write this last letter to whomever may read, I wish there was some one I could talk to.. I wish there was a person who I could sit down and chat with... Chat about something of relevance.. Something... Or some one who would listen, but the fact is no one is... I don't understand, why I feel so sad within my heart.. I wish there was a way to tell you How I felt... How all these years I have bottled up my depression coz I think I can't go down to depression, How it comes back at the worste moments... and how I wish I could throw it away instead.. I wish I could speak out to some one... face them face to face... and cry... but then I'll lose my pride... I wish there was some one who understood... I wish I could just say a word and u'd understand... but There's nothing.. but this deepness.. of self destruction... It feels like a demonic force within me... the blood that runs through my veins feel enraged... ready to burst ready to kill... but I bottle it up, coz It's not worth throwing out.. I wish I could touch your hands.. and tell you how wonderful you truly are in my life... but who are you? I just wanted a hug... I just wanted a touch of comfort...but I found none... Everything is fake.. So fake.. I can't gather up the fact that I wanna die... so this blade looks very wonderful... This blade calls out my name... Do you know me? can you hear me? I wish I could tell you what I feel, but the truth is I don't know how to express it... It's like an eternal turmoil in my heart... A continuous battle I seem to be losing... I seeked council from a friend, a leader a mentor, But they are busy... they are always busy... there is only one time u can approach them, and you may never interrupt them form there on... Is there some one out there who can hear my cries?... Must I take this blade n kill now? is the blade the only thing that can understand me?... who can understand my bottle of weirdness.. my bottle of resentment.. my bottle of crap... who cares? I wish I could stop... what ever I can.. but in this life the only stop I know is death... The only stop I know that is truly a full stop is death. Who can hear my cries? who... No one... No one can... I have friends all around but none can help.. no one can... As I now lift this blade it is slowly reaching my heart... maybe I can gore out this bottle, then throw it in the bin... to be honest I don't need this crap within me.. can you hear me?... who is reading this.. speak... speak to me now... please... As the blade is now crossing over the position of my heart, I slice a square.. and peel the skin... it's painful but nothing like this bottle of annoyance within me! I need to cut deeper... Oh whats this? some one is saying stop... it's a small still voice behind me...
"He's telling me to laydown my weapon... but Can he really understand my pains? He slowly tells me what I feel... and says He is willing to take the bottle form me, without me ending my life at a full stop. He says... drop the knife and He'll give me his life... I ask who this is, and He replies the person you have been speaking to all this while.. I have been listening to your cries.. I know when you are down.. I feel all your pains... I have felt ur deepest hurt,... your greatest trial.. I even have felt your greatest blow from now to the future... as well as in the past... in fact the very reason I took ur blows was coz I care for you... don't you understand? You are not alone.. I sweated until I bled in a garden for you... I carried my tool of death so you would have life... I kept silence in the midst of false accusations for your sake, I hear your cries too.. and as I was placed and pinned on to the tool of torture and death, the people rose me high above the sky... then at one second I felt the blow of all your hurts flying to me at one shot.. all the hurts of people form every one.. one big blow... and I carried it all, Then I went down to Hell to find ur name on the list, and take the keys of the camber that laid ahead for you so you didn't have to suffer, but there's one thing that you must do so the key is away for good.. so your name is written in the book of life, so that you have the key to paradise.. and a life with some one who understands you... don't you see my friend, I died for you.. and my death was unique for every one, I died personally for each and every one of you... so all you have to do is receive it.. and believe it. I AM, I'm waiting by the door.. knocking, open your heart and let me in, know that I am God, Know that I am your savior, know that I am your Lord, Your shepherd, and your friend.. I am always knocking.. I just need you to open the door of your heart, and let me fix everything for you...
And Just this very moment.. I feel strange.. Peaceful..I want you to come in My Lord and Savior... what is your name? The voice said.. I am the Jesus Christ. At that moment I stopped for a while.. not knowing what to say, but I knew this was my only other alternative.. and it felt good.. so I said, Thank you.. I open the door of my heart and let you in Jesus Christ.. take all the stuff in that bottle away... thanks for dying for me... For my stress, depression... and for my sin.. come in and be My Lord and savior.. my shepherd, my best friend..., then the voice said Amen, and now I say Amen too"