time flies but i don't

Yea man finally joy!!!

it's liek woah cool... Even through such hard times liek this semester 5+Lan(malay) subs and all I feel quite happy^^. It's great.. i knwo you non christains won't understand but hey who am i to judge.

It's like I know Jesus is here now beside me. He like guides me through times and i refuse to let the devil in.... how do i let the devil in when i lose joy...

But coz jesus is beside me he is my corner stone... nothing will make this coner stone fall and he will be with me all the time through hardships. ^^ lifes really cool and I'm glad to knwo that i can enjoy every moment of it =).

I'm glad to see the puzzles that was once destroy being repaired again.

God bless

---

Chris

Ok i guess it's time to update my blog.. Nice and early in da mornign with the frezzing aircon on!!! anyhowz. I've notice how people say 'I am useless' (ok i said it but any way...) but in actual fact if u were useless why do u have friends... (duh friends are friends coz they care for ya, not coz they wanna use ya got that?) I took a hike.. I ran frm it.. it was too hard to bear wiht.. I couldn't cope with it any more...the future looks bleak.. lets go and die now...
hmmmz how can you run from a problem... Just to say you can't. you have to face the fact(got that Chris...ya thats me myself...) anyhowz.
Besides this I'm doing ok for all my things in college 5 subjects for 3 months.... which is totally uncool. And the fact i haveto take malay. IZ also uncool. maybe i should practise soem of my bad malay here.

saya sekearang taktahu cecap apa.... oh well... selemat tingal semua orang.

'I'm not saying sorry.'
'you know you were wrong'
'How am i wrongI just said, I didn't bring money'
'true but you knwo her.'
'Ya, so do you'
'Just say sorry lah'
'hmm, but how?'
*pauses*
'See even you don't know how'
'just say 'sorry' lor'
'... Well it's not my fault i had a badd day...'
'your takign this thing abit to seriously bro chill'
'Soryy...'
'see u can say it to me but not her?'
'ya thats cause u are my consience'

just smile

So, today is a boring day as every one is busy. As usual I am wasting my free time wondering what to do. I dunno prehaps fredom is nice. Is there such thing as freedom. Yea it's a freee country right, but u can't do this and that. ya we;ll it's not free nothigns free as people say. Some times in my life I would wanna die. I let my gaurd down and my body is just taken over by this force that brings u heavy down on this earth. I try to get back up. I tell myself/ or myself tells me. Get up u can do it. I try but nothing happens, then the day gets worste as the dayl light vanishes. Storms arrive nI cannot use the com, after that i have to swim. The weight gets heavier everythime i want to do somehting good. the day gets worste and worste. It's like once u fall it's like an endless hole even my own self cannot bring me out.

Eventually it comes to the end of the day. Where you look back and regret falling in the first place. I lost, I fell, I let my gaurd down for one second. N somethign just pushed me in the hole.

The endless hole that lasts a day-- a night. Untill u fall alseep wake up to another glorius morning and smile. trying not to let your self fall in the same hole again. prehaps it's not all about The gaurd holding up as long as possible. what say you? Maybe it is all about the strength you have in yourself. what you think of yourself. What you create in your mind. I like it, but i hate it. I need it but i don't want it. It keeps me alive even though it's killing me. I must, I will. I cannot, but i really want to. Temptation? or just meerly an addction?

in my brain, I never told any one before. I talk to it, it actually responds but i knwo the response. Yet the response is so different from what i usually say it feels like another person inside of me. The brain supports me when i need it, Brings me further in the hole when I don't need it, but then again i do?

Ah well this is the end of my blog, for this morning. Wishing you a Gd day and remember just smile.

Chris

just smile

So, today is a boring day as every one is busy. As usual I am wasting my free time wondering what to do. I dunno prehaps fredom is nice. Is there such thing as freedom. Yea it's a freee country right, but u can't do this and that. ya we;ll it's not free nothigns free as people say. Some times in my life I would wanna die. I let my gaurd down and my body is just taken over by this force that brings u heavy down on this earth. I try to get back up. I tell myself/ or myself tells me. Get up u can do it. I try but nothing happens, then the day gets worste as the dayl light vanishes. Storms arrive nI cannot use the com, after that i have to swim. The weight gets heavier everythime i want to do somehting good. the day gets worste and worste. It's like once u fall it's like an endless hole even my own self cannot bring me out.

Eventually it comes to the end of the day. Where you look back and regret falling in the first place. I lost, I fell, I let my gaurd down for one second. N somethign just pushed me in the hole.

The endless hole that lasts a day-- a night. Untill u fall alseep wake up to another glorius morning and smile. trying not to let your self fall in the same hole again. prehaps it's not all about The gaurd holding up as long as possible. what say you? Maybe it is all about the strength you have in yourself. what you think of yourself. What you create in your mind. I like it, but i hate it. I need it but i don't want it. It keeps me alive even though it's killing me. I must, I will. I cannot, but i really want to. Temptation? or just meerly an addction?

in my brain, I never told any one before. I talk to it, it actually responds but i knwo the response. Yet the response is so different from what i usually say it feels like another person inside of me. The brain supports me when i need it, Brings me further in the hole when I don't need it, but then again i do?

Ah well this is the end of my blog, for this morning. Wishing you a Gd day and remember just smile.

Just smile...

So, today is a boring day as every one is busy. As usual I am wasting my free time wondering what to do. I dunno prehaps fredom is nice. Is there such thing as freedom. Yea it's a freee country right, but u can't do this and that. ya we;ll it's not free nothigns free as people say. Some times in my life I would wanna die. I let my gaurd down and my body is just taken over by this force that brings u heavy down on this earth. I try to get back up. I tell myself/ or myself tells me. Get up u can do it. I try but nothing happens, then the day gets worste as the dayl light vanishes. Storms arrive nI cannot use the com, after that i have to swim. The weight gets heavier everythime i want to do somehting good. the day gets worste and worste. It's like once u fall it's like an endless hole even my own self cannot bring me out.

Eventually it comes to the end of the day. Where you look back and regret falling in the first place. I lost, I fell, I let my gaurd down for one second. N somethign just pushed me in the hole.

The endless hole that lasts a day-- a night. Untill u fall alseep wake up to another glorius morning and smile. trying not to let your self fall in the same hole again. prehaps it's not all about The gaurd holding up as long as possible. what say you? Maybe it is all about the strength you have in yourself. what you think of yourself. What you create in your mind. I like it, but i hate it. I need it but i don't want it. It keeps me alive even though it's killing me. I must, I will. I cannot, but i really want to. Temptation? or just meerly an addction?

in my brain, I never told any one before. I talk to it, it actually responds but i knwo the response. Yet the response is so different from what i usually say it feels like another person inside of me. The brain supports me when i need it, Brings me further in the hole when I don't need it, but then again i do?

Ah well this is the end of my blog, for this morning. Wishing you a Gd day and remember just smile.