Things I love about her

These are things I love about my dear Kher Lit!

-She makes me feel at ease when I am around her

-She supports me when I need help

-She is really good at doing her make up ;)

-Even when the most beautiful girl walks pass, she still looks more beautiful to me!

-She knows how to carry herself, with a good fashion sense

-She has a great sense of art and colour combinations~ that I think most will agree with me ;)

-Her smile is unique

-Her eyes are dark and mysterious, but filled with light and beauty

-She has a good sense of humour

-She's blur at times :P (yeap this is a good point~!)

-She is alert (esp on the road

-She can sing~ very beautifully esp dispney songs =)

-She is in Christ

-She is exciting to be with

-She is unexplainablly wonderful

-Others (which I cannot explain =D)

This is a dedication to my beloved Lim Kher Lit, who is my most amazing and most beautiful sscrumptiooousssss girl friend =)

-Chris

My Got Talent

Well, we practiced for 3 weeks every wednesday to get to the point where we would be able to sing the song nicely... Listed a whole load of random names for our group name ranging from:

-Random Cranberries

-Super crocodiles

-Christos Selrias

and many more that I cant remember :P. and finally we came up with the name~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SOLID DEFINITION =) I like this name, coz it reminded me that the song we sung that day, had a real meaning to it, a solid one.. and that's Christ!

Well... I went on to doing a flash.. whew it was tough, esp when I didn't know a thing! haha but it went about quite well~ glad I learned lots of new things from that experience! hehe alpha colour... fading.. masking... motion tween haha!

Then came the Logo.. which was a disaster.. I couldn't really think of a good one that day.. ended up doing an S and a D, but thanks to my lovely dear! she helped out and came out with the one displaying on the right side.

hmm as for movie clip n all not gonna be posted~ well thats all for now betet rget going and finish up my other flash...

One step up

You know the other day I went to the curve with the gang, second time I think haha(first time with William and er Alex/jerm can't remember:P shopping for kherlits bday pressie) any way, We went to watch the dark knight, it wasn't too bad if u like heavy story action movies... but I think it wasn't as good as I thought it would be (being a dark knight fan and all) But it was cool.

So what happened?

Well before the movie we split into 2 groups one to go shopping one to go ATM? and yum cha? hahaha.. I joined shopping.. actually I never really knew shopping was enjoyable =p. I was thinking of buying some clothes and look for a new pair of sneakers... but who knew? ended up dressing joel up haha! He looked awesome in an tight fit Tee, and a straight cut jeans, as for the trainers.. can't say much about it =p need him to wear those clothes first! asked him to try a shirt too.. it was ok, not too bad, just the length was way too long.. making him look like a kid in daddy's outfit (not good!) haha but the shop assistants were kind and said they could cut it for him within half an hour =). But we didn't go, well coz we didnt have cash on us *Laughs*. Then we went into an aussie type shop... the jeans there were baggy, like his current style, it was a big no to the jeans, but the red T-shirt picked up by ET & Poh ly looked good on him.. But still failed to find a shirt, hoping he will come to one u and look at the FCUK shop near MPH there, thinking of the Black shirt with purple stripes =D.

Any way after all that... we went to the apartment to eat(EXPENSIVE!) the food was ok, but not filling enough. Not worth the price tho haha! then off to black knight,... sittign at the first row... lol, the story is nice.. the fight scenes are cool to me.. and at the end of the movie.. people clapped at the credits lol... so I assume it was a totals thumbs up! joker was cool.. shame the actor died... Any howz! that was me sunday summed up

Remeber in my previous post I mentioned love myself? it really is a good thing haha believe it or not.. I don't feel so down these days, knowing God loves me, and I appreciate the body and what not he gave me.. life's getting better! I wanna get a new hair cut :P

well thats all for now~

-Chris

::What people want isn't always what people require. What people require isn't always what people want. But all in all, we need God::

Increase

Today I have learnt something on increase. I woke up went to go to see my boss and other collegues.. he made me realise, everything in life, of working we need to ask ourselves, why this screen.. why do we type this in this area, what else does all the other things in this one screen mean, Then I realised.. I haven't paid attention to the small things in work! and it really got me thinking about life the same way.

Haha We tend to take the smallest things in life for granted, in fact I think that the small things matter in life, hehe... we also need to react pro actively to the things in life especailly little things, that really doesn't need to be seen as such a big problem we make it as!

I talked to a dear bro today and he also taught me some stuff =) thanks bro ;) you know who u are. I think in life we have many decisions and we need to choose the best of it all, stop dwelling on the negative, that just makes us depressed and what not, but to choose the positive! you know, these previous blog posts I have been down, and I have many choices I can choose from. Bad ones good ones, each one changes a life, but hwo you react to each on is the key right?

I believe this is why God gave us some free will.. too choose... I guess thats the greatest power of a human being! to choose!

Whilst talking to my bro in church, I realised negativity impacted me when I started letting negative things in my life, like the news papers and what not! haha I need to intake some positive words in my life I think ruters and erm... forbes eh? I shall consider it! maybe I will look into new guys fashion? tho I dunno how too haha I tried once ... hehe failed attempt to search online... oh well...

Another thing that hit me, is I need to love myself more.. maybe touch me self up and pamper meself more hahaha! I believe this is the key... It hit me when the bible said, love your wife as you love yourself... I will never be able to love any one properly, if I do not first love myself.. now I'm not saying I should be selfish, but I should have a degree to love myself enough..

reliance on God is another thing I learnt.., very important God's int he equation if not can't get anywhere! =) Jesus I love you! and yea I'm so glad you love me too~ can you teach me to love me too? hehe... at least, prehaps there will be a chance I will be more of a good husband that way :) my dream... hehe...

-Chris
::Sometimes we are so BLIND in this world, but you know what! we can still choose to see, everything is a choice in this world::

The heart

I knew your heart was heavy,

I knew your face was sad,

each sigh brought a tear,

to an eye of one who loves you,

I knew you wanted something,

I knew you wanted some happiness.

I wish my love was enough,

but nothing is ever enough,

humans crave for more and more,

But God loves all the same,

I knew you cried deep inside,

I knew you put a mask on your face,

I knew you gave up hope a while,

I knew the sadness in your heart.

To try and stay and talk a while,

to try and make a smile,

to try to make a life more easy,

to try to help you through your trouble,

but what are all these in a heart,

what are all these in your eyes,

I wish I could make the smile,

truly come out like the brightness,

I feel for you and I truly want,

to share your burderns in your heart,

but when I see that mask again,

I can't seem to break through the pain,

take your mask off,

so I may see the beauty,

there is no joy in putting a mask,

only hurt and burden to be given.

If you realise,

just realise....

-Christopher Tan Kok Jeong

:: Each day gets heavier, but know that when you have 2 is better than one, for if one falls, the other can help them up. But if your alone, then who will help?::

Still tired?

Man... I'm still tired haha! yesterday was the most tired I've been since a heavy workout haha... well pretty mundane day yesterday.. with hardly any cases, and an extremely heavy eye.. I felt like smashing onto the ground and never waking up hahaha!

But when I got to church, I met up with sam and we composed a nice song! woah it was really good.. I was suprized we could finish it within our limited time : under 2hrs haha! but it was real good.. it's for this saturdays performance, The song is God's reflection.. but that's all I am telling you hahaha! I hope no one gets bored of me :P coz I am worship leading too this sat...

Then... later went to klang GH @@.. was really empty suprizingly.. visited our dear beloved sister poh ly, she looks like she is in good condition, but still advise her to rest. good news is, her platlets are on the rise constantly from monring till night which is a real good sign! and more oever the fees amount to RM0 according to ET denggi cases are FOC, Thank God =) seems like God is truly in control of this situation ;) let ET share to u all when the time is ripe to share.

after all that got home... went online to see if me dear was on.. true enough she was, but got hardly any response from her.. and I was about to faint! haha.. so I decided to hit the sacks.. woke up n msged her... aihs.. and this morning when i got on yahoo mail i just realised she msged me an offline msg! eeps!

To my dear

To my sweet dear,

I'm sorry about yesterday, heading off so early, I was really tired and missed the your offline message.. I ask God that He will always provide you with happiness, I didn't realise you were sad and down, I hope to talk to you tonight, I hope to make it right, I hope to see you smile and giggle and laugh =) your burdens lifted and your sigh be one of relief~ I believe God is there for you always, waiting and listening to all the things you need to tell Him, Jesus loves you and so do I =).

-Chris

Tired but alive

Well Here I am again to update me bloggy! phew I am tired... should really been sleeping.. could say I was worried abt a friend, to a certain extent... but I have been naughty xD watching movies at night.. when I should be sleeping hahah...

things are getting better on my side.. since last sundays message, seek first the kingdom of God..

but too tired to blog at the mo so this shall be my short update

Hurting inside..


I'm so sad... and hurt in my heart... I feel like I have grown bitter.. I feel like this world is so forsaken.. and dead.. I know God's around.. I dunno why I feel this way..

I just wish to see my dear happy again oh God.. can you make her smile? can you take this pain from her...? Is there any way? can you please annoint her hands and mind that she is able to doall this.. surround her with loving people.. I feel so sad deep down..

oh God.. I feel so useless... why can't I say the right things? why can't I take her mind off the assignments... or why can't I encourage her? why do I go so crazy for her God?...

My mind wonders and I worry God.. I worry like crazy... I knwo it's bad.. I wish I didn't... I feel the tears gathering in my heart.. like a well filling up with water... I just wish.. I am stressed God... work is ok.. but I want to learn more... Praise team wasn't as vibrant why do I still wanna complain?... God oh God...

I wanna cry so badly... I want to be loved.. oh God.. I need to know that she loves me... not just by words oh God...

I am going crazy... I wanna just lay here, I feel like escaping the world... but why? I feel this world is drowning in the darkness.. Oh God shine your light...

I am so mixed! what is it in my heart!!! Does she hate me God? is that why she has been ignoring my smses? is that why she has ignored my calls? never returning even one... is that why she doesn't bother to call me once anymore just to talk?

I can't bear the hurt oh God... this burden I lift to you... I can't stand it to the point I cant sleep now... I wish she'd pick up the phone.. but I know she won't.. shes too tired.. then tmr she has this survival thing with her cg.. I know it's a good thing.. but no hp nothing.. sigh.. another suspense for me..

I am going CRAZY God... please... please.. help :(
I need rest..

I need love...

I need assurance...

God bring me back to you... again.. I am so sad... so sad... I can't bottle it up anymore... so I pour to you here.. God.. help me.. God help me...

=(
-Chris

People are changing
2 Corinthians 3:18
18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

I've come to realise that we can't expect people to change, until we change ourselves. But the funny thing is, we can't change unless we see what God really has done for us. By His love and His Charitoo(Favour, grace) He's given us th epower to be childern of God! amazing... we need to realize, it's all about Christ, about what He has done for us and ultimatly, how His grace for us is not based on our worthiness on our unworthiness, or shall I say how good we are or how not good we are, but more of how much HE loves you and How good HE is! =).

even the bible says in 2 Cor. 3:18 People are changing form glory to glory, so people are changing not instantly, but little by little! It's like the story of a seed; The Seed is sown...then after that the seed takes time to grow it's roots, after growing it's roots it's still not going to survive until it gets nourishment through it's roots by persistent and constant watering... funny thing is, this water mustn't be too acidic nor too alkline, but just nice. This will then allow the seed to start growing.. but to reach the surface it needs to break through the soil, this process I believe isn't easy, but due to this I belive(not fact I think) the plant will grow a strong stem to support, Later it is still nto fully grown it still needs light, and watering is still required.. feeding the plant, but it's important not to drown the plant. it takes a painstakenly long time for that plant to grow to produce flowers but every step is important. further more if that plant is one that grows fruits it takes time and season for that fruit to be produced.

It's really just like life... We take our roots.. then through challenges we break through the first part The soil, strengthening our 'stem' or mouling our character. Later it's still not enough, we still need light(the word of God) and water (God's constant care and supply of love) though painstakenly long to get the plant to grow, it's like us, it must take ages for God to take care of us and grow us to perfection. Then we start growing and flowers start budding, small achievement in life are shown, but they will wither the flowers that is, then the plant will grow even more. But when it reaches to the age of producing fruits, the flower will stay there.. but it till take a long time for the fruits to come.. and grow to it's full potential, just like us, we get a lil sucess.. and it's very hard to excell beyong that point but light and water is still important God's word and His charitoo still important. until the length of paitence and struggle. we get the fruit.

phew what a process!

thats all for now~
-Chris
::life might be getting tougher, but the tougher it is, the more light and food we need from God, if we lose all this, we might just become weak and starving::

Only to you...

Dear God,

I'm really feeling burdened, I feel like I am trying to hard, or maybe I am doing too much and making things worste? as I fail to meet peoples expectation... The better I try to be, the more people demand, it's as if every person in this world was your boss haha... wanting mroe of you everyday...

But i don't mind trying my best to please people... I really don't... I know it's bad to expect something in return, and honestly Father I try not too... But could you help me to not want.. I feel really awkward when I don't want. Especially those close to me, I understand their busy and all.. but when I want to talk to them when their not, I'd really love them to listen. I'm so glad you put friends in my life that do, to state 2 would be Alicia and Katrina. Thanks God for putting these 2 sisters in my life, also brother Jerm. I really thank you God that these few people are in my life..when I am down you bring them to me to cheer me up. They know for some reason what my heart is yearning for... it's as if you bring them in at the right timing.

I also thank you God for Florence :) I really appreciate you putting her as a mini shepherd over a period of time in my life. I pray you always guide her and lead her into your glory God. They have given me much joy, and are the joy bringers in my life :) Thanks God.

it's bad to expect i know... but sometimes I wish I'd get a surprise.. or something from the one dearest to me... a hand written or made gift.. or something small.. just to show me some sort of love.. that doesn't only come by words... God I know it's bad to expect. I don't want something big.. maybe just questions to explore more about me? or to be interested in me? I dunno.. I really dunno... I'm trying my best to change God I am.. but I'm glad your the one who renews my spirit...

God oh God... my heart desires more of you... and at times I get confused.. I just wish I had mroe of you... :)

Thanks God for listening

Your beloved son,
Chris

Hunger
starting to feel hungry for God's word for some reason.. I feel like I havn't had enough of it! recently I've noticed my intake of God's word has reduced substatially, as well as this I have realised I am becoming more blur! not a good thing hahaha... I feel like all those words of God that I used to know isn't submerging when I need them these days.. and I am stuck.. well they do come out when people need them =p just when I need them I can't get them out! haha need to start eating more regulary! can;t diet on the word of God anymore... me spirit man getting skinny hahahaha!

I've realised, negativity hits me hard these days.. like foul words, they seem to give me a feeling of wonder... of why people need to say such things. I guess a lot of people say what's wrong with it? and why Chirstians shouldn't say such words... haha I guess what I read online is the right question, what's right with it? think w eneed to all start asking ourselves the right questions.

The word of God is life... and food for the soul right? if the word of God was false, I truly believe all the transaltions in the world would be different, but the thing is, thier all the same! just that english has many meanings for one word. haha, reason being why english has to be read in context.... what I like about the bible is, it says God is the same yesterday today and forevermore, so whnw e say the new testiment is only relavent and God only works there, I believe it's wrong. I think the old is as necessary haha. What God didn't like before he still doesn't like today I assume. just that Jesus took it all... So all those abrahamic blessings and good conditional promises still stand right? eg respect your parents and all will go well. the rest of the curses I believe are cut off if ur in Chirst coz he took it all on the cross... =)

Humans
one thing I have learnt, in a relationship, you sometimes get fustrated coz you wish to see somethigns in return, or you want to feel loved ect... but you don't feel it. but thats not the thing I learnt, the thing I learnt is, people are changing, and we can't expect them to change overnight, we try our best to change for the better, but ultimatly only with God's strength we can do that... I've realised people learn, and listen.. and I;ve also realised good people can turn bad by the group they hang out with. Good character is corrupt by the bad.

But it doesn't matter =) I believe and continue to pray God's love will work in each and every person on this earth... no matter what race, religion, as long as ur human, it's enough.

-Chris
::Humans are hard to change, but thats what makes this world so colourful, different people different oppinions, but no matter how much we may not like each other, God loves each one of you personally, and loves them the same::

weekend
well i ain't blogged :P for a short while, so here goes, whilst I munch on my apple.
well went to the study skills thing... actually wasnt too bad :P but there were parts that got real boring :P.. overall i give it a 5 out of 10. but there were quite a few new people there, I think it's cool. I met some dude called sean, :) hope he comes next week =)! but I didnt get enuogh time to talk to him as I had to rush off after study skills to pei leengs partay.

So we made it to the party, nice and fashionablly late.. I was thinking people would have eaten.. but who knew?! they were all waiting for us.. wasn;t too bad we thought.. well me and ken thought it was ok.. until we realised the food came out only after our arrival! lol.. ouch! but doesnt matter! Good to see you again peileeng and Erwin.. thats if you read my blog lol!

As for hanako, no ideas about here:P never talked to her haha... =p

So, Then came sunday, rise up early in the morning... totally dead haha! the whole day I felt my whole body giving way to sleep even when I was driving(but obviously when driving I will use all my focusing power to stay awake and concentrate on the roads!) after church it was off to Alex's Farewell! yeap yeap~ in the CAVE! couple cafe... was awesome, nice pick alexander!.. I advice u all with another partner to go.. if you dont have another partner..(as in gf/bf) go with a bunch of friends :)! worth it! hehe...

So we all had fun after that off to kherlits singing school gathering performance thing.. Wow! I didn't know she could sing so well.. her voice though, a lil shy.. was very good.. Esp the Jap song!
I think she will get through in her emerge audition no problem!

Then off home and boom! dead on the bed hahaha..

Next day
Monday I thought to myself I will go back to my fruit diet on everyday but thursday... So I went to buy some fruits from the fruit stall.. oh man who knew! fruits are so expensive these days 4bucks for 3 peices... actually half a peice of guava :P and I doubt one peice of mango.. with.. a slice of papaya! Woah blew me socks away I tell ya haha..

Works getting interessting recently, Think is coz there are so many new issues occuring =).

Last but not least
My talent contest
I am thinking of joining what you all think? Join under vocals.. or story writitng.. I havn't really decided. what do my dear blog readers think? yay or nay? =)

Anyway thats all for now!
God bless
-Chris