Silence..

Silence, what a beauty, keeps you out of trouble, lets u be quiet, keeping all your thoughts in, even though u wanna speak out and help, just a friend... they blast back at you, pissed, for u even trying to be concerned for them... I suppose I should be the quiet type as i have always been in UK... never hearing a single voice... a single word coming out of my mouth... This shall be the place I'll give out my thoughts... it's up to you if u wanna read, but I dunno... perhaps SILENCE is all well, perhaps i should stop walking into peoples lives let them live it.. its not mine... perhaps i shouldn't help... perhaps helping does the other thing... kills some ones thought.. kills a dream kills a emotion... presses the red button... there’s a time to help a time to SHUT UP!.... If only people knew that i wanted to help so bad... but the more i try.. the more i kill... I'm a mass murderer perhaps? Perhaps I am stupid... Perhaps the dream i made long ago was all a lie.. perhaps I shouldn’t help.. perhaps help is a bad word... I dunno.

Silence... hey, I should stop writing but its my free will, I want to write this... I wanna tell you, but u guys are like the wind, blows past me, silently... I dunno... hey, depression doesn’t feel that bad, feels great u get to punch yourself... opens up your eyes, makes u realize what u have been doing wrong... not like i wanna be depressed forever.../ not that i am now... I'm semi angry, yet I feel so sad... yet I'm not longer angry... I'm silent... Pls what’s wrong?... what do you mean?... so quiet?, heh yea...
heh yea---> that’s right i am... I wanna tell u so much.. but u cant see... I want to tell u everything.. but u wont listen... I wantyou to care... but i cant receive, coz I'm blind... I feel nothing... I'm numb.... everything is wrong... I'm slipping away.... perhaps this is the way... Perhaps I'm too selfish... perhaps I'm wrong.... yet i thought it was so right....

no matter what i do it's wrong.. the helping is wrong... i fail to see the help working... but when i do... I wished that help would work the same way for all... (wtf? what’s Chris on about? is he lost it? he should shut up coz he's making him self look SO STUPID...) So what? It's not your problem... its mine. U wanna help, why not open up your eyes for once? , yes, I hate hurting people... yes, I hate rebelling against gd ideas... but if there's a fault, maybe its mine! but I don’t show its mine... PREHAPS ITS YOURS... perhaps it isn't... hey, what are friends for? to care to help? but maybe... there are no friends for me.... maybe there is.... but no one ever gets even close... I dunno, maybe one day some one will break through my wall of concrete, hate, love, broken hearts, pain, pleasure and last of all.... Hurt... I'm no hero, yet I am no low life... whose a low life? no one only those who say they are, or those who say others are, coz u cant see their trying to make themselves better, their trying to make the world better, what do we do kick em away, so before u even see what i am, u have to look deep within yourself n say am i ready to say the things I am? perhaps, silence.. is the best solution?
To me Silence is some one within pain and torment wanting to speak out.... to you its something that u can cage, so no one will know u any better, so u can stop your pain from flowing outside of u, so u can hold on to it and not let it go...