Well, this post is no help for any of u but myself.. so here goes...
hmm I reallyl want some one to talk to, now adays every oen seeems so parted... or not so clsoe... I guess the only right person to talk to is God, he knwos what I am thinking any wayz... soem times I just get so worke dup with jelousy n then wonder why i am jelous of nothing.... why anger flows through my body like my very own blood n flesh... why I want to be so free, yet i dfeel so caged, today i took communion n I am not baptisted... I wonder if it was right or wrong... I've been having these feeeligns of anger so relentessly I've become such an easy target to be provoked... and such and bad person.... usually, I shoudl be a gd person.. but now a days I swear... n curse.... which i didn't use to do... soem times I hate myself to the poitn where Imy head can't cope any longer... I just feel like bursting out Destroyign everything... or just laying down n die..... btu i knwo it;;s not the wisest choice... Jesus has been here.. he';s probally the very exsistance of me being here, n still sane i suppose... I'd be permentantly lost every time i fall if it weren't for him... I rely on my friends they only put me down... I mean look at this world every thing seems to be going away and away... look at ash he as his friends... he can talk abt problems to them.... I really wanted to talk to him abt problems coz he listens n he's a gd friend... it hoguht of talkign to Jeng abt it but she seems to have changed alot,,, Eva... well lets put it this way when shes online I dun seem to have any anger or rage in me at that time... or my cuz is over I act or seem very liek the joyful n play ful type of person.... I dunno but this is all ranting... I really need to get this all out,... whats happening now in the world... what friends did i have in malaysia.,... I even look back and wonder what friends did i reallyl have the probally only friend i had in uk was sam... he helped alot i suppose i mean at least we could hang out n chat n all... mMalaysia... I wasn't a big hit or anythign... poeple knew me they just didn't reallly talk to me... I dunno do i seem socail or totally anti socail... or maybe it's all to do with my turst n they not trusting me... ahhh usually thier busy as i said a friend in malaysia would probally be Ash but he's busy now a days.... as for mit... shes very specail to me... shes my first pet sis.... and has much on her hand I want the pbest for her coz she dun deserve to live the way she is living her life... ahving doubts n everyhting.... I wish there is somehtign i can do but shes just to reluctant to accept Christ prehaps one day some one will come and help her through her life... maybe it could be me.. helping her now.. .but i really doubt it... but it's her mind n her body... hwo would i know what she is thinkning njust alll assumptions... man i been typing like speedo for this past 20 min of this post welll i best end it off now 3 23 now... ok htis is.....
Chris

....

Sighinign


offf....
forrr
now...