A Smile

A smile is what I remember something I dreamt of, to see the world smiling.. and all in joy, I wonder if it's possible? I did once conceive it as impossible because one persons joy might be another's suffering..

But I figured, the only way to make people happy, is to be the one who is happy... Oh how I wish I could spread happiness.. but my heart is full of deceit sometimes.. laziness gets the better of me, or tiredness.. which leads to destruction sometimes.. I'm really sad to see some people sad... and the fact that they can't express it when they want to makes me hurt inside... I know how they feel.. how the world can't be trusted and how it's bad to say bad things about others.. how we love to bottle up our emotions and say everything is alright when we know it isn't!

But this how people put on masks I guess.. this is why some don't believe in God.. they put on a mask so they don't believe, when deep inside they are craving to get to God... perhaps? I didn't say all are like this, just some.. perhaps fear is holding them, or being uncertain? perhaps doubt is wandering about their minds.. What ever the reason.. I wish them peace and may their emotions and bottles be busted... so they can finally sigh not another sigh of stress.. but a sigh of final peace and relief..

Oh how I wish the church was as perfect as it should be, but i know that people are all imperfect.. and we all fear.. how I wish we could just share to our fellow brothers and sisters.. but we can't simply because sometimes what we share might not be the right thing to share... ok, though I understand that our brothers and sisters hurt us for the better good sometimes.. not all of us can see it that way.. and the hurt feels more than capable.. thats where we need to rebuild i guess... instead of fleeing to the enemies kisses...

I'm deeply grieved.. I see many people sad... but why should i be grieved? I know God will pull them out.. if I let him take the stand and control.. I guess.. coz once upon a time, I told myself I will make myself as trust worthy as possible.. make sure people trust me, so they can share, and I'll keep them in my silent prayer.. or keep their secrets at bay so they will feel better that at least some one they trust knows..

I probally failed... thats the reason why less and less people share.. it's not that gossip is what I want to hear. But I'd prefer the burden to be shared I don't mind keeping silent, as long as you think me sharing your burden will ease your pains..

Only God will know what I have come to know.. and forever it shall be like that.. even if death may come. They will only hear the truth of how Christ, has come for them.. and redeemed them too..

oh God this is my prayer tonight.. Every man and woman, in this world.. believer or not.. has a peaceful sleep.. meet up with them.. and let their load be light for just an hour or so.. if not let them come to know you and lighten up the burden forever... may they see you for who you really are.. and not for who they think you are.. I pray you shelter the orphans... heal the sick, continue to be with those who are hurting.. and mend their hearts . I thank you oh God.. I type this prayer on this blog... not for recognition.. but so that some one in this world may be at peace, and know they are prayed for... =) Thanks oh Father,

Amen.