Torment

ahh such a fimilair word no? what do you mean no?! hahaha I thoguht every one experiences it? get numb and become immune to it? no? oh how wrong I must be haha...

The pain that rips you inside, the hurts that reccure over and over, no one knows, why... then you scream to those who try to help and say YOU will never understand, never.. no one does!!!! and they will try and try, and you say to yourself I am screaming so loudly but no one hears me.. only hands of the deaf and even they want to try... shackled beneath with no escape tears overflow your eyes... you see nothing.. but darkness, every one thinks they know what you are going through but each go went thourgh worste or less tormeneting times.. ahhh you scream as you try to rip off the chains that have held you down for so long.. I just want a way to escape... a tear a small tear shall fall from your eye.. and then you shake it off, saying I must be strong endure this and I will go on!... years past and you feel the pain getting stronger the cut that scared you so long ago, seems so real again.. you feel the blood dripping form it, you turn to look but nothing is wrong.. you say to yourself I MUST BE STRONG!!!... and build your wall even higher and taller than before... but you do not realise that its not outside thats hurting but inside... the turmoile the pain the darkness the decievingness... you want more of the pain.. you grow a likness towards it.. but you feel uncomfortable, you say I am comforted by the pain.. but I must be strong and endure.. oh how you are left in such irony... then one day you just let go.. you say I cnanot go any further.. I need some one to help me.. screaming as you are agian just as you did from the start AHHH HELP ME FOR **** sake help me... and all you hear are your own echos... wondering why every one has left... the scar gets deeper as life goes on... and one day you see some one... some one dressed in white.. you see a light so bright... promising as it seems, you dare not touch the light.. coz you think I have been in darkness for so long? what does light look like?! a hand comes from the light.. and you cry and shiver tremble before it... you wonder.. why is this light so kind and bright?... you look down at your scar and see...
it's being healed? I dont get it... I thought pain was my only friend and enemy?! what is happening... the bright lighted person speaketh and you say ooo how golden is that voice.. so thunderous,.. it makes your legs tremble like jelly but not the way fear does... you feel comfort strike down your spine into every joint of your body.. you say why didnt you come earlier? then the voice in the light said I did, just your too busy trying to endure and be strong... but now I am weak why do you come? have you come to devour me? then the voice says no I have come to RESTORE, take the wheel from your hands.. your eyes widen.. tears fall once again.. and you think to yourself why am I crying.. why does this all feel so different and ye tI am doing the same thing as I do when I am in torment and turmole.. I feel true comfort truth... the chains that had been on your leg as a ball and chain deminishes and you feel free, you say who are you? and the voice says you know me, poeple have told you about me, your friends have thought about me, just you never liked much about me, because you never ever felt for me, I AM.... then a sudden wrath of light splashes into you you feel the release and your see colour once again you look around and see nothign but happiness no one hurt no sad... a ripped peice of a page what seems like part of the bible falls at your feet, you look and see, and remember who gave it to you so long ago... you read and see and agree... 'the truth shall set you free' how you wish you knew the Lord earlier, but never have you wanted to know him more, you say you shoulda but now know you can =) you look at the past it has gone.. the darkness that so consumed you have been vanquished you look at another part of the peice of paper and see, death where is your victory? where is your sting? you rejoice and run to the light more and more.. this time not enduring.. and being strong, but beign weak and absorbing ...

^.^ Hope you all enjoyed this story, God bless and Love ya all, Take care~~Chris ^.-