Old familiar Feeling

Walking normal each and every day, you look normal you smile to the next person and never be transparent. You put a mask and carry on with life. When people see you they say hey no way you can be sad or depressed your too active to hyper and just too busy. But under that mask is a sack filled of water.. a river of tears held in. You feel like your drowning from your own tears.. you feel the rush and hurt inside.. All you want to do is forget.. you focus all your energy on forgetting, that you don't actually forget what is making you hurt but instead forget what makes you happy... you cling on to what you still have like a cliffhanger, everyday you use your strength to pull yourself together go out and see the world, laugh at it and come home taking off a mask and finally breathing properly.. you look left and right, you wonder.. is any one there? can they see you.. Cautiously you take your mask and put it back on your face.. looking around there is nothing.. you let out a breath of relief.. as you close your eyes all you see is black.. trying so hard to smile for real you think to yourself... one day I will forget one day=) and I will be released... then as you pick up a book or magazine you read it.. you see on it.. lies are ways of hiding your fears.. you lie to yourself only putting more chains on yourself... reading on you find an old piece of fact.. honesty is the best policy.. you don't know why you want to believe that but never had the time to see that... as you say to yourself ah life’s good, yup it is... more tears fill your river of tears... then one day you forget your mask and walk out of the door... you feel a sense of insecurity oh no I forgot my mask?! ahh crap.. people see how sad you are but dare not ask why.. as you sit you can't stop moving and Fidgeting and you can't seem to go through the day as you normally would with your mask... you run out of the school or work place and flee home... running to your mask and hugging it...

ahh the Lie that you have been hiding under can you not see that they are hurting you? do you not know the truth is what sets you free? did you know that the hurt inside you builds you up?, who is that you ask? how do you know me so well you shout! Please go away! the voice stops and vanishes... you are left there wondering about what it said... then another voice comes and says go on put on the mask again... you know the mask is what every one lives on... no one in this world is truthful! every one is deceitful and will only make the world a worst place without their masks.. go on you know you want to...Falling into your mask you agree with that voice and say yea! I will so you put it on and go out into the world... you feel uncomfortable.. and a sense of strangeness... then the same voice that told you to put your mask on says.. what have you done? you want to know what truth is you want to be honest?! look at you putting on a fake mask deceiving everyone your as worse as the rest.... You cry and say Go away but the voice just keeps getting louder and louder.. you run back home and shut the door tight... taking the mask off and hiding in a corner... Go away!! GO AWAY... the voice keeps on taunting you... Ha?! now your scared I thought you liked me? I thought you agreed with me... you scream “NO!! no... I don't know... ahhh" Tossed into confusion you want to escape but you find yourself shackled by your own masks... you look around and see one part of your room with a lamp still shining bright.. you wonder "eh? I haven’t seen that lamp for ages.. it still works?" Memories flood back into your head you and say those were the days... the voice that taunted you started to laugh hahaha those days have gone!!! off the lamp before it burns out.. other wise you won't have any memories to live on.. you nod your head and approach the lamp.. switching it off the light bulb blows... you scream "WHYYYYY noo... the only piece of memory...The voice gets louder Laughing at you HAHAHHAHa silly Human look what you have done!!! you sink to the floor... and lay down.. looking at the mirror on your ceiling.. you notice a dusty book next to you... the voice just keep laughing and telling you how foolish and careless you are.. but as you seem to focus on that dusty book the voice gets ever so dim... you turn and blow off the dust..."What is this?!", "the.. The... Good news bible..." as you open it you see those old notes you wrote... you see verses and turn to a page you remember you loved most," ah this is the one2 Corinthians 3:18... But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. "

you shut the bible and fall back on your back, puff out a great sigh.. and say to yourself. With unveiled face.... but.. a.. how I.. you cry out and Say Lord come back to my life.. I know I have strayed for so long, but you have to come back.. accept me again.. I know I have been wrong.. I am not worthy of your presence but I need you... a voice comes.. "and so it is you have finally found the truth that sets you free..." huh? you think to yourself it was the Lord he has been here all along! and I told him to go away? some verses come to your head I am the Lord your God and I will never forsake you nor Leave you... you feel comforted and lay back.. with a smile on your face...

the next day you go into work you throw the mask in the bin and smile... people look at you and think this is strange.. there’s some light shining form her face? why.. they walk up to you and ask you how you are feeling.. you reply “I’m GREAT" they withdraw and fall back... "great?, we don't get it how.. but why? are.. huh a mask? you are not wearing a mask?" you say there is no need for a mask.. if I have the truth.. you smile and open your old bible and share...

Hahah another story, not as nice as other I have written, but hey I hope you all like it! and if you say hey that’s me!!! sorta.. I didn't write about you, but perhaps the Lord is telling you to come back? I don't know

God bless~~~ and Adios
Chris~~~~~~~~~