I have looked back on my past. Ok there was bad times. But I notice if you stand strong and and not let down your guard you will survive a lot longer. Ok I haven't told u everything coz. Well if I did. It'll be abit more on suffering. Yet, You have to put all these suffering aside. Perhaps if any of you are reading this. look at your past and see how you became yourself today. It's every interessting. I want every one to stand back up I will help you up if you 'trust me'. However if you do not. I suggest whoever you can 'trust'. Ask them for help. help me up come on back here. I don't wanna fall anymore. I know it feels easy to fall, it makes me feel useless. So since I am useless whats the point me being on this earth? Think about it. I'm sure every one on this earth. has touched some ones heart once. If you were not there how would it been like? You would think alot better i would at times. But the fact is. could you imagine how it'll probally be. some one smiling, ya smilling, but you remove the shell he/she is hiding in. All pain and suffering, wondering what happened in my life soem ones missing. You may not belive this but every one on this earth is worth soemthing. Not useless nor were they not ment to be in this world. Do not throw your life away relentessly, It seriously doesn't help. Yes you are scaed you cannot cope. Please find a friend that will stand beside you though this battle of life. You yourself cannot cope. Yet if you were with a friend he/she would always come and help. Prehaps find some one you could express your feelings to. Tell them everything why you feel bad. Some one who would take it cool. Listen, not react unapporpraitly. and try to help you.
I am tellign you this now to whonm ever it may concern. It concerns alot of people that includes you ash, ya thats right. You don't seem to be qutie yourself any more, after splitting with mit and all. I think mit you havn't been the same ever since too. To every one else whome may read this blog. Pleas do not treat this as a lecture but some sort of guidence... 'I just wanna be a better friend' thats what i say. To mit and ash I wish you the best in take this into consideration. I would stand by you help you in anty way I can. yes I maybe only one guy in this world. So what the heck can I do. I can listen. I knwo you can both plubish on your blog it's up to you.but getting some one to listen is very usefull. trust me, see the word Tust always appear.

Well this is chris hopign that this post has help any one in any way, Chin up, look up, down is just the floor up is the sky the trees the birds the open air the universe.
love,
Chris