Given up

yea, I think I will give it all up to God. Recent days I have felt like I am doing things in vain, like staying up late.. calling someone to see how they are.. ect. The end result is simple. That no one really cares about you haha. So I figured, I'll give them a peice of my mind.. ends up they don't give a crap about what you say. So doesn't matter... now I knwo why they say, unless the Lord is behind it, the builder builds in vain.

I find it pointless now to continue to try to be someone who cares, without caring, who loves expecting nothing in return. So I'm giving it to you God today. I can't seem to figure these things out God.. so Take control.. I don't want to be fustrated, nor do I want to have to hold it inside. I don't want to be demanded to say things. I just want time with people who really care =). But in this world, people are beyond that... selfishness of ones heart.

Just like me, see how selfish I have become. I think I have become a monster.. and frankly God I think you better come to take me home before I stray,... I hate to see myself stray.,. I feel like there's another person in me.. that can see me doing things I hate.. I'd rather die oh God than to be away from you...

I do not wish to desire any more God... but teach me live in your presence.. Teach me to tap on your love... the only true love in this world.

-Chris