Disturbed ~_~

Man, today whole day Ive been disturbed I couldnt even hear what my lecturer said after 2 seconds.. i was liek huih what did she say... uw anna know why I am disturbed firstly... the maid made some coffee for me i said not.. secondly she made magimee for me I said NO!, thridly SHE TRIED TO BLOODY KISS ME!, now thats the disturbing side... *shivers... now every ngiht i have to lock myself in my own room just for my own protection.. coz apparently she walks into my room when i am sleeping!Oh my goodness... thats so bad... :S any wayz thats all for today

yay another sad crap blog.... coz i wanna be sad.. coz i miss my friend... so sad... haiz.. no more... coz I dunw ant u guys to know any more

Just thoughts..

totday i went to a plubic speaking workshop, ya man its was GREAT... the guy was such a gd speaker, keep the whole crowd laughing happy and most importantly attentive, he talked abt skills n how u can improve when speaking, what to avoid and what to do.... was great...

fortunatly...or unfortunatly i dunno this part is personal only the popel who knows her will knwo what i mean... I saw a gurl, hmm... she looked so pretty, but she looks so fimmilair... so today, I went all the way bac to my pics on my comp, this pic was before i formated... Looked for Michele's pic, Michele (note one l) hmm looked carefully and thoguht back... woah... thier almost identical... no wonde ri was looking at her, and thinking she was so gd looking =/ heh, maybe it it her :O but i doubt it... kinda cool, but i'd rather not get myself into hassle trying to get soemthign i want, so bad, and realising that at the end its been taken, then I have to go through all that depression slide again... somethign I dun wanna do, Ive seen that Girl several times... but shes usually alone maybe coz her bf or fiancei is waiting outside for her? or maybe its her husband! :O welll over the top there but hey i dunno... oh well, anywayz, Mich if ya readin' this, where have ya gone to, college? hows college if u have gone... mustbe fun! escaping form hoimme.... going out hanging out, I dunno maybe u should try it, making new friends too huh? if u are reading this, tell me, can you please at least tag a message in the Tag board... just one? just to make me self assured your still around in my life =/ or have u really disapeared just liek that?... sigh... oh well,
this is my thoughts for now... looking at that pic really goes deep inside me to the past, heh, my more 'soft' side? I dunno back door lol any way, I'd best stop this post or YA ALL FALL ASLEEP, and start asking whose mich, whats she mean to you, lol, sitoz Max, and Jeng will know... Ash it's not mit coz i never call mit mich got it?... Cya all

Super IQ test results

http://web.tickle.com/tests/superiq/result.jsp
Chris, your Super IQ score is 103

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.The way you think about things makes you an Intuitive Interpreter. This means you are a highly conceptual thinker. Rather than focusing on facts and figures, you look at the big picture. You are less inclined to need to walk through something step by step to understand the logic behind it. This also lets you make connections between something you learned three weeks ago and something you are learning today. While other people need those types of connections pointed out for them, you just naturally make them.
How did we determine that your thinking style is that of an Intuitive Interpreter? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you an Intuitive Interpreter. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

Silence..

Silence, what a beauty, keeps you out of trouble, lets u be quiet, keeping all your thoughts in, even though u wanna speak out and help, just a friend... they blast back at you, pissed, for u even trying to be concerned for them... I suppose I should be the quiet type as i have always been in UK... never hearing a single voice... a single word coming out of my mouth... This shall be the place I'll give out my thoughts... it's up to you if u wanna read, but I dunno... perhaps SILENCE is all well, perhaps i should stop walking into peoples lives let them live it.. its not mine... perhaps i shouldn't help... perhaps helping does the other thing... kills some ones thought.. kills a dream kills a emotion... presses the red button... there’s a time to help a time to SHUT UP!.... If only people knew that i wanted to help so bad... but the more i try.. the more i kill... I'm a mass murderer perhaps? Perhaps I am stupid... Perhaps the dream i made long ago was all a lie.. perhaps I shouldn’t help.. perhaps help is a bad word... I dunno.

Silence... hey, I should stop writing but its my free will, I want to write this... I wanna tell you, but u guys are like the wind, blows past me, silently... I dunno... hey, depression doesn’t feel that bad, feels great u get to punch yourself... opens up your eyes, makes u realize what u have been doing wrong... not like i wanna be depressed forever.../ not that i am now... I'm semi angry, yet I feel so sad... yet I'm not longer angry... I'm silent... Pls what’s wrong?... what do you mean?... so quiet?, heh yea...
heh yea---> that’s right i am... I wanna tell u so much.. but u cant see... I want to tell u everything.. but u wont listen... I wantyou to care... but i cant receive, coz I'm blind... I feel nothing... I'm numb.... everything is wrong... I'm slipping away.... perhaps this is the way... Perhaps I'm too selfish... perhaps I'm wrong.... yet i thought it was so right....

no matter what i do it's wrong.. the helping is wrong... i fail to see the help working... but when i do... I wished that help would work the same way for all... (wtf? what’s Chris on about? is he lost it? he should shut up coz he's making him self look SO STUPID...) So what? It's not your problem... its mine. U wanna help, why not open up your eyes for once? , yes, I hate hurting people... yes, I hate rebelling against gd ideas... but if there's a fault, maybe its mine! but I don’t show its mine... PREHAPS ITS YOURS... perhaps it isn't... hey, what are friends for? to care to help? but maybe... there are no friends for me.... maybe there is.... but no one ever gets even close... I dunno, maybe one day some one will break through my wall of concrete, hate, love, broken hearts, pain, pleasure and last of all.... Hurt... I'm no hero, yet I am no low life... whose a low life? no one only those who say they are, or those who say others are, coz u cant see their trying to make themselves better, their trying to make the world better, what do we do kick em away, so before u even see what i am, u have to look deep within yourself n say am i ready to say the things I am? perhaps, silence.. is the best solution?
To me Silence is some one within pain and torment wanting to speak out.... to you its something that u can cage, so no one will know u any better, so u can stop your pain from flowing outside of u, so u can hold on to it and not let it go...